Truth lies somewhere in between

Arguing and bickering

Some people seem to thrive on arguing. I’m thinking in particular of lawyers, couples in tumultuous relationships, and those who always stir up or fuel discord on Facebook (and other social media).

My dad would often tell my mom to, “Change the subject.” And then he would change it!

I don’t think dad really ever liked arguing with my mom, though they constantly bickered. And all of that lead to my awareness that, “The truth lies somewhere in between.” And “It takes two to fight.”

Yet, it took me decades to learn that one of the two in an argument simply needs to STOP FIGHTING (in essence, release the resistance), to end the argument.

Yes, though my parents loved each other passionately, their love was not unconditional. Through watching them, I learned all about conditional love. So, how could I know what true love was?

Observations of parts

I observed, during a Bible class I participated in a few years ago, that some attendees argued more about specifics, like healthcare and sexism as related to Trump. I had to keep pulling people up to the macro general level and why we were there.

I seemed to only see the downside to love growing up in a dysfunctional family. I never thought anyone got it right. And then later, when I fell in love (or what I thought was love), I perpetuated the toxic cycle.

Truth lies somewhere in between

Which part am I?

  • I am not my body
  • I am not my mind
  • I am more than the sum total of my collective experience

I can list my likes and attributes, but you may still have a better idea of who I am, than I will ever have.

As my adult children and I have recounted stories from their youth, they certainly saw a different side of me than I self witnessed. The same must be true of how I viewed my parents volatile relationship.

Examining my characteristics

  • I am honest
  • I am sensitive
  • I am empathic; sometimes intuitive
  • I love deeply
  • I am resilient
  • I have fought tough relationship battles that might have wrecked others
  • I am a loyal friend (and keeper of secrets)
  • I allow my feelings to be hurt (and sometimes become resentful, until I become fully aware that I allowed my feelings to be hurt).
  • I hold stuff in (I say it is to “protect” others and spare them from having to observe it or get involved—but is that really true?)
  • I have been a codependent (but does one ever really heal from codependency?)

I don’t want to hold stuff inside, but anytime I get mad or speak my mind it pisses other people off.

I struggle with people pleasing. Or people not listening to me. I never saw my mom get too far when she argued with dad or others, so I decided early to forgo the arguments. Or so I thought! Both my first and second husbands argued with me. Ugh. And my children were witnesses to so much of that—and I hate that!

Learning from the lessons

Whenever I am emotionally triggered, I read this:

I never like to be disrespected, bullied, or have my intelligence questioned, or be treated less than I am! But I know I’m not always right. As well, others, no matter how well or how long they have known me, don’t know all of my thoughts, wishes, or desires, and that I strive to always respect others and show kindness if nothing else. I know many people are hurting, sad, mad, over or under medicated, or are hungry for love. And I realize no one knows Everything—not yet.

❤️🦋🌀🙏😉

What to do?

  • I am too analytical to blindly follow
  • I am independent
  • I am curious and always seeking
  • I can focus on the positives

I have some clairsentience and clairaudience abilities, though not tuned specifically to aid others. Perhaps I will offer these senses and abilities more of my time.

Fight to feel better

…When you feel bad nothing works. You labor to get out of bed. You stub your toe on a table that has never moved and you’ve known for years where it is. You lose your car keys, glasses, or phone. Walk around with a big old frown on your face and you know it drives people away from you. You’re fighting with yourself about something. Let go of whatever you’re resisting and your day will improve.

From my book, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life!

Be as water

I love the water (but looking at it, or walking along the shore more than swimming in it–though I love to float!)

Water doesn’t fight with itself. Or does it?

Water rages. Water flows. Water falls. Water is still.

I will EXPLORE more ways to be like water!

Yes!

I will find my own balance.

I will find my own level.

I will start by reminding myself that the truth lies somewhere in between. I will not judge by what I see in the mirror, but simply point out the many facets of truth, per the mirror disco ball.

As Scott Buck, a writer on both Six Feet Under and Dexter series dramas often made a foundational point of saying, “We never really know a person.”

I like to compare our personalities to facets inside a kaleidoscope or disco ball. We reflect what we see or imagine others to be.
❤️🦋🌀

Even racists can be kind. And I am about over all the hate from the other side. ❤️🦋🌀

A bit about us:

My husband is an award-winning illustrator, plus he is a seasoned guitarist, bass player, and songwriter (of over 400 original songs). You can view some of his artwork and listen to all of his songs on http://RichardMurrey.com or check out his latest 24 songs here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC53E21F-JlTW2iQmPcEIWkQ

I’m an Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon. Plus, I’ve written a new book (in the making for 13 years), Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, that’s now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format). Buy it here.

As well, you can hire us to promote your book, band, business, or services here: https://www.facebook.com/MurreyMakers-103294764612382/

Be the best version of who you want to be and let us promote you!

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

6 thoughts on “The truth lies somewhere in between

  1. Lots of words of wisdom here! Codependency stems from dysfunction, and let’s face it, we are, by and large, a dysfunctional society. We each carry some level of dysfunction and codependency.

    1. Ah, thank you, Carol! On the one hand it is comforting to know that we each carry some amount of codependency, on the other hand, it’s sad. I am glad I can forgive myself for the years of not knowing, and glad for the awakening. ❤️🦋🌀😉

  2. Sheila, first let me congratulate you on all of your books, very impressive! Second, I LOVE that you used exploring how water behaves and to be more like it………..I love this to my core! thank you 🙂

    1. I love water too, in all of its forms and phases. Thank you sooo much for sharing how much this post resonated with you! It really means a lot to me. ❤️🦋🌀

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