A surreal vision of soul-departing

Vision of a soul departing

At this time, I am ready to write about a nearly indescribable experience I had the morning after my dad passed away.

My dad passed away in his sleep the night of March 8th, 2019. The next morning when I got the call (from my son), my husband came home from work and we drove 2.5 hours to the property where my son and dad lived. My son, distraught from finding his papaw in that way, asked if my husband and I could stay the night, and of course, I had already decided we would (though we really had not had any presence of mind to take anything with us).

So, as the night wore on, I slept sporadically. At one point, I awoke and cried. As I was about to fall back asleep (about 5am), I had an incredible vision. I saw that my amazing father had been sleeping on the couch in his motorhome and about two feet of the wall, near the ceiling, had opened up and an immense golden light appeared. At the far edge of the golden light, similar to the golden sunlight the next photo captures, there was a distant outline of a city.

Photo credit: Long-time friend, Angela Brill
Golden sun. Photo credit: Angela Brill

Now, I’ve never been one to believe in heavenly streets paved with gold or anything, though the Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite movies, and there’s that scene in it of the shimmering green city of Oz. So, perhaps that was coming through my subconscious. But, the next part is what totally blew my mind!

When that golden light appeared, it took my daddy’s soul, instantly, up and out of the motorhome (through that opening in the wall) and my dad had no choice in the matter. His eyes and mouth were open. His soul departed his body out through his eyes and mouth. My son confirmed to me that dad’s eyes and mouth were open when he found him.

In the vision I was given a knowing that when my dad’s soul departed, he did not have thoughts of missing anyone here, what things he had left to do, what else he had planned to do–Nothing. It was that quick. His soul just left. Poof!

I took a moment to write the following, right after the vision, so I wouldn’t forget it. And so I could tell of it later. This is what I jotted down on my iPhone:

Eternal Love

I know my dad loved me more than I could ever know. I have grieved his passing mostly because I thought he was doing well. He’d not been sick. He looked fine. Not overweight. No beer belly. No diabetes, or any other chronic illness that I knew of. In other words, older, but the picture of health.

And I grieved because I hadn’t seen him since Jan. 6th, when I had visited to commemorate what would have been mom and dad’s 59th wedding anniversary. We lost my mom 21 months prior to dad’s passing.

Dad had called me a few days before he passed and made an “appointment” with me (his word, not mine) to visit on March 18th. Often he’d tell me he knew I was “busy, busy, busy.” Ugh!

Papa had stopped by our place unannounced the week prior, but as fate would have it, my job had called me out of town on short notice, and neither my husband nor I were home when he’d stopped by (and he never just popped in). It was just all salt to open wounds of grief.

I have read that in India, when someone dies with their eyes and mouth open, that it indicates the person did good deeds in this life. Oh, yes! I know this was the case with my dad. Though he’d made his share of mistakes (haven’t we all? I know I sure have!), he learned from them and lived the rest of his days as a beacon of what loyalty and love means.

Forever Home – A Calling

I took this next picture in our home state of West Virginia. It’s of the last property my daddy bought, and of the tree stump where dad used to sit and gaze upon the hills. My son had smoothed the seat after dad had told him he loved the view from there.

Oh, I wonder what dad thought about while he sat there. I have at least one voicemail also, where he’d mentioned this was where he was sitting when he called.

I am now realizing the road of life can be rough. But, when we love, and we know our dear ones loved us, we can consciously choose to smooth it out and know we have nothing to fear beyond The Veil.

We Are All Connected.

Even when we choose, like I have, to take the long way home, it is said that we shall meet again. My soul finds rest and comfort in that knowing. [Insert BIG ❤️ here]!

Every morning I look into my eyes and I see you there. And when I miss you, I kiss the palm of my hand because your blood runs through my veins and connects us still.

Hugs and kisses, papa and mama. Until we meet again.

To everyone: Be a blessing. Much love to you in ALL ways. Amen and Namaste. OM

Check out this original song (click the title to play it): The Connection. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. If you like it, you can download it (it’s Track 14) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordband2

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

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Eulogy for my amazing father, Nelson Williams

Eulogy for my amazing dad

The following are my most profound thoughts, love, memories, and knowing of my papa, Nelson Williams, who passed away during the early morning hours of March 8th, 2019.

It’s been 29 blog posts and 21 months since I wrote my eulogy for my beloved mother. And this is my 100th post on Take It Upon Yourself. It feels fitting to me also, in the grand scheme of things, because my dad was the most independent person I have ever known.

My papa wasn’t ill, so when he went to sleep and didn’t wake up the next day, we were all stunned and bewildered. We are still in a state of unbelief of his passing. However, I know dad missed mama everyday since her passing, so to think of them together again, is comforting. Now, they are reunited on the magnificent and grand other side of the veil.

113-mom-and-dad-in-golf-cart-at-flywheel-festiver-2012-or-2013

The early years

When my dad, Nelson (nicknamed, Old Hickory) was growing up, times were tough. He grew up on a large farm, but it was depression days and money was tight. You can gain a bit of insight from seeing this picture of dad (middle, tallest) here in the one room schoolhouse, where he attended school.

Dad at school as a boy

Nelson was one of six children. There were three girls and three boys. Dad was the second eldest son. I can only imagine, from the years I visited the farmhouse where dad was born and raised, how they lived. But dad told many good stories from his childhood and what it was like to grow up on the farm. And he loved the farm, having kept an acre or so of land there, even after his parents passed away.

School years Nelson

One of those stories involved dad’s mom bathing the kids outside on the porch in a big metal wash tub. The same one his mom would use to wash their clothes in with the washboard. I knew he grew up without indoor plumbing because as a child I witnessed dad and uncle Jack building a bathroom for my grandparents in their farm house. I also remember having to use the outhouse.

I’ll come back to this later, but dad always enjoyed the water. Swimming, boating, and so on, as evidenced by this swim card I found!

4H Red Cross swimmers card - Nelson

I haven’t found many pictures from dad’s youth, I’m thinking folks just didn’t take many back then, but here are a couple that must have meant a lot to dad, since he kept them.

Dad and friends at school

Dad and friend

Perhaps some of my family can enlighten us (in the comments) or with a phone call, and let me know who was in these pictures with my dad.

Dad played football for a time during his high school years, but after a rumble on the field or a tear inside one knee (depending upon who’s relaying the story), he quit and never played again. We never even watched football on TV.

Dad was also a member of the Future Farmers of America (FFA) and used to tell me stories about raising animals.

FFA card 1955 - Nelson

By the time my dad met mom, he owned his first car. He was so proud of it! 

Dads 1956 Ford

Mom loved to take photographs, and took these photos of dad at her parent’s home.

Dad July 1960

Dad at moms parents July 1960

Marriage

Dad and mom met at a drive-in restaurant. One of those curb-side service kind. As the story goes, dad spotted mom in her car (she’d went with a girlfriend of hers), receiving food on the tray. He walked up and asked her for a bite of her sandwich! Stunned, she told him he could buy his own.  Read mom’s eulogy for more.

BettyAnn and Nelson Wedding Day 1960 in her parent

BettyAnn and Nelson Wedding Day 01061960

Even at age 20, when I look at dad and mom in these photos, they look so young! I can only imagine how it was for them then, how happy they were and full of dreams.

BettyAnn and Nelson Wedding Day (3) 1960

They were married at mom’s parent’s home. See them holding hands?

BettyAnn and Nelson Wedding Day (2) 1960

Incredible know-how

One of the best things dad did, was make me! Well, obviously with help from mom. 

Daddy and Sheila at age 3 months

When I was a baby, we lived in a mobile home on a hillside. And more cars were to come and go. Dad had this white convertible top car for awhile (pictured first, at the farm where he’d grown up, and next, where we first lived). I actually found a vehicle registration card from 1957 for a ’49 Chevy.

Dads first car

First cars 1964

By the time I was 3, dad and mom had bought a house. I was sure “daddy’s girl.” Cars were such a big deal for us all. Dad would own several in his life, more than I can recall or count. Mom used to say that by the time I was 4 I could tell her the make and model of any driving by. That had to be something dad was teaching me. Papa loved to drive!

Dad also made me curious about electronics, which has served me well (since I’ve had a 30 year career in digital electronics and computer software). I think of dad often while problem solving (tear!).

When I find a picture of the Browning Golden Eagle and linear he used to have (or one like it), I’ll come back and post it. It was meaningful because as I would fall asleep at night, I’d hear the ping of dad’s mic as he communicated with the world via that CB radio. Mom would fuss at dad about that, but as the kid and always wanting to make peace, I somehow learned to “tune it out.” The linear would boost dad’s radio reception and he would often tell me the next day of how he had “talked skip” with people as far away as Japan! Plus, all that stuff about talking skip totally fascinated me!

Dad and Sheila at Alberdias 1966

And speaking of radio, dad also loved listening to music. In the 1960s, dad especially loved Kenny Rogers and the First Edition. Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In), was one of his favorite songs. Dad usually always had a little AM radio on, and gave me several when I was little. I remember waking up in the mornings to songs of the 60s. Papa was first to give me a radio. He even gave me a couple stuffed animal ones with the radio inside.

Being a Pappaw (and later, a great Grandpa)

Daddy was thrilled when my kiddos came long. First, my daughter, then my son. He loved them as his own. 

Dad feeding Marie with mom 1980

Dad mom and marie 1981

dad holding Matt with Marie playing Boaz Feb 83

Right from the start, my children called my dad, “Pappaw.”

Dad with Marie and Matt at Boaz house Jun 1983

Best pic of Dad with Marie and Matt in Boaz 1983

Dad with the kids out back in Boaz 1983

Dad even got to meet his first great granddaughter (when they came to visit us in Florida). Unfortunately, though I prodded him to do so, he never made it to New Hampshire to meet his twin granddaughters who were born 5 years after the first.

Visit dad first met his great granddaughter

Here are a couple of pictures of papa holding his great granddaughter.

Papa and Jennifer

Papa looking at his great granddaughter

Learning all the time

Dad knew a lot about many subjects. He was always learning. And always talking with people. Yes, a real social butterfly!

One subject I didn’t realize dad was so well-versed in was plants and trees. After mom passed away, my husband and I drove to WV to be with dad (my son also drove up the next day). Dad and I took a walk through the grounds of a KOA campground (behind the hotel where we all stayed) and he could point to any tree or such and tell me what it was. I was amazed and thrilled to hear such things!

It was no wonder that I called daddy, “Mountain Man” because he really knew a lot and could figure anything out. He was a tinkerer. A hands on and practical DIY kinda guy for sure. One could even call him a modern day survivalist or “prepper”, as he knew how to survive on next to nothing and through thick and thin.

Varied accomplishments

Here are some of my dad’s amazing accomplishments (without ever graduating from high school – and having a learning disability that caused him difficulty all through life with reading and spelling):

Dad went to Hollywood for a short time (at age 18) to pursue acting. He said one of his high school teachers had encouraged him to do so, after seeing his acting performance in a school play. But, dad didn’t like Hollywood. He would only give me the reason of, “They teach you how to lie.”

Papa moved 100 miles from his home to work at a bread factory. For years dad would go out of his way not to have to drive down 19th street where the Storck baking company factory was though, because he had grown such a dislike of the smell of bread baking.

At some point, and I didn’t know this until I found this card, dad was even on the radio as a new reporter!

dad radio reporter card

Dad sold electrolux vacuum cleaners door to door for a few years and seemed to enjoy it. We always had the best vacuum one could buy, though I thought that was because of my asthma and allergies. Years later, I realized it was because of what dad had learned about vacuuming. Also on that note, when I was a kid, papa kept all of our cars, boats, campers, and such meticulously clean.

On the advice of my uncle Bob and my grandfather (mom’s dad), dad got a job driving semi truck and became a member of the Teamsters union. Dad also learned how to repair the big truck engines as well. And papa was so proud of driving truck. Papa took me out in the truck a few times. I remember going into the Helms trucking terminal in Parkersburg to this day, the way the guys had to load the trucks and the paper logs they had to fill out.

People talk about having home-based businesses or side gigs nowadays, but my dad was the first I knew to run a side hustle from home when I was a kid. He ran a CB business – we used to go to “roundups” on Sundays (which is why I love the flea market type of environment)! I grew up hearing the ping of his Browning Golden Eagle running a linear too, which caused me to have to learn to “tune out” the noise in order to fall asleep at night.

After we moved from the mobile home, dad and mom bought a small buff brick house about 17 miles from mom’s parents. We lived in that house from the time I was 3 til I was 11 or so. A keen eye will observe the sign above the garage door about the 2-way radios. And you can see how tall our CB radio and TV antenna was in the back of the house. Yes, others had TV antenna’s, but you can see the difference between those and the CB radio antenna.

Dads VW Beetle

cars in the driveway 1972

Buff brick house July 1965

Here’s one of dad working on a motorcycle, with mom and I watching, along with our neighbor and friend, Greg Bruce (on his little Hot Wheels trike). 

Dad working on a trike mom and Sheila watching with Greg on hot wheels

Before we moved, I remember mom saying we should take a couple of pictures to remember our little house. Dad took one with mom and I in front of her white Thunderbird she loved, and then mom took one of dad and I.

Dad and I in front of moms white thunderbird about 1973 

Homebuilding

Dad and mom bought 6 and a half acres not far from that house. They’d only bought land though, and had to improve it before we could even put a temporary mobile home on it to live in. Because the land was highway frontage and unimproved, dad traded for a dozer and other heavy equipment to fill the low land part of it. He also had to put in a road, before he could even think about digging the hole for a basement. Dad’s repair know-how served him so well over the years, that it led to his interest in owning, repairing, and using heavy equipment. The following are a few examples:

drilled well on Boaz property 1973

Dads backhoe

Improving the Boaz property

Dad and Sheila working on old boat 1976

That land was where we all worked together to materialize my parents’ dream home–a huge multi-brown color brick & white Georgia marble stone home. (I was a teenager and could only do so much, but do remember helping to build the rafters for the roof, and carry lumber and supplies around.) It took my folks five years to complete the house, during which time we lived in a couple of different mobile homes on the front of the property.

Another construction pic of the house

Our house under construction

More of the house under construction

Dad in Boaz house Sept 1983

Dad laying stone on house

Dad laying the white Georgia marble stone on back of the house

Boaz house dad built 1983

Dad and mom both literally put their skin into building this house, which still stands today, though it looks a lot different since later owners covered the beautiful brick with siding. (Gasp!)

Dad on phone in Boaz house - Apr 1983

Dad had also acquired a 17 acre farm and horses, I know we had a pony while we lived in the first house, so I’m not exactly sure when the farm came into our possession, but they must not have thought it would be a good place to build their big home (in retrospect, it might have been the better move).

I recall cleaning out the barn, bailing hay, and riding with my dad. Those were truly father-daughter bonding times. One of my favorite memories was riding my Shetland pony named Betsy alongside my dad (he was riding our American Quarter horse mare named Sue), along the top of the ridge of our farm.

Factoid: Mom used to tell a story about the time country singer and legend, Mel Tillis was interested in buying that farm. Seems it was the highest elevation in our county!

Once the house was done, dad sold used cars on the side. For a few years, we always had different cars around.

Dad in his Triumph mid 1970s

Dad built an apartment building in Marietta and a house in Vienna in the Hickory Hills subdivision. The house dad built a few miles away from where we lived was what some people would call a spec house, and at one point, he wanted us all to move into it. Ugh, but I didn’t want to change schools. Another regret. 

Dad became a licensed single engine VFR aircraft pilot when I was in my teens. He loved to fly! When I had my daughter, he took her flying! I never had much interest in the Cessna.

Dads plane WV

Dad also bought and used a sawmill to build a log home on the 6 acre property. However, the economy took a tumble and people weren’t buying log homes and dad’s home building business failed. The business failure was devastating for my parents, but dad wouldn’t go down without a fight.

Dad took a couple of dump trucks to Florida, traded for some property (on which we would place a double-wide mobile home) and worked these dump trucks daily to scratch out a living. That move also enabled dad to make my dream of moving to Florida come true. The best example of “turning lemons into lemonade” I have ever seen!

When dad traded for the Florida property, which would become their home for nearly 40 years, I had came to Florida with him. Dad sat me down with a newspaper and asked me to look for a nice double-wide mobile home. I found one. It was cheap, but had to be moved. Dad did it all himself! I had thought he might kill himself trying to wench each of the two halves of the home together!

FL Double-wide moving it in 1984

FL Double-wide 1984

The Wheeler Dealer

Always the practical, mr. fix-it one, dad traded for many items, found discarded items, repaired and sold them for a profit. Dad retired from full-time, punch a time-clock work at age 40, which is nearly an unheard of thing for most.

After moving to Florida, dad was always finding items at the dump or at yard sales, fixing and reselling them. He loved to tinker! And then the stuff just kept piling up. 

Dad worked at McDonalds for a few months, maintainence and trash. I think he just wanted to get out of the house. He also worked for a concrete company driving truck for a year or so. He only quit due to the seat in the truck having broke and he received a neck injury from which, I do not believe he ever fully recovered.

Speaking of injuries received from accidents, dad was also once hit by a drunk driver in a corvette (dad was driving a Metro and his seat broke backwards upon impact). Mom and I both thought that accident could have killed him. And dad never swallowed right after that. The hit and run driver, (whom we later learned was an attorney) wrote dad an a sob story apology letter. Though I called several attorney’s and strongly suggested dad sue the guy (who had left the scene and the police had to catch him and bring him back), but no, dad wouldn’t go to court. The law still made the guy pay restitution, but it was small pittance to the open and shut million dollar lawsuit dad could have won had he only gone to court. 

Few vacations

Because dad and mom were both such hard workers, we hardly ever took a vacation. Most people wondered how mom and dad acquired so much in their lives, believe me, it was due to bone-grinding WORK. A solid work ethic like few I’ve seen in my life, I tell you.

Freda Dad Mom me and my cousins 1967

And a few trips to the beach, either Virginia Beach or Ocean City, Maryland. This was on the way to Virginia Beach, VA.

Dad and I on way to Virgina Beach first vacation 1968

Most of the times we took a vacation were when we drove to a family reunion, wedding, or somebody died.

Williams family when grandmother died 1976

Williams family 1979

Reunion Williams family 1995 or 1996

Only once did my folks fly a commercial jet to go to Washington state and Nevada to visit relatives. And I didn’t go. 

Mom and Dad in Las Vegas with April 1979

Loved the water

One of my favorite pictures of mom and dad had been taken of them while swimming in Veto lake. I asked dad not long ago, who took that picture? He replied, “Oh, there was always someone around willing to take a picture.” 

Mom and Dad at Veto Lake 1960

During one of our few beach vacations, I snapped this one of mom and dad, and it’s still one of my most favorite pictures.

Mom and dad at the beach about 1970

Though we didn’t take many vacations, but we did hang out at the river a lot while I was growing up, and a the lake near where dad grew up. As well, when mom and dad would watch my kids, they would take them boating. 

Dad in our Glastron boat at Sutton Lake with family

Dad mom and Marie and the Williamstown bridge 1984

Dad at the river Sept 82

Dad Marie and Matt boating in the pool

Dad in boat in the pool with Marie and Matt 1983

Holidays and more

One year (when I was a kid) mom was into wigs, and in this picture, she was wearing a blonde one. This was a memorable Christmas. I decided to add this happy moment when dad surprised mom with what I think was a $50 bill.

One of the interesting points for me while looking at this, is that I actually found the rock ashtray (while going through mom’s things after her passing) that’s on the table behind them. Another is that my husband and I bought the same La-Z-boy recliner chairs this last year for our RV (though we got the cloth versions). The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

Dad and mom Christmas maybe 1970

Later on, we tried to spend every Christmas together in Florida.

Dads great smile at Christmas 1988

Dad great smile at Christmas maybe 1992

I recall dad being surprised with any gifts that were bigger than a bread box, because he and mom often shopped at flea markets. 

Dad at Christmas Daytona Beach 1992

Dad opening VCR at Christmas 1992

Here’s dad and I with my daughter.

Marie Sheila and dad Christmas Daytona Beach 1992

And this is dad and mom with my daughter. We were always close.

Marie mom and dad Christmas Daytona Beach 1992

Matt Mom and Dad Christmas 2000

And then there was that time papa walked me down the aisle for the second time.

Dad walking me down the aisle at my second wedding 1991

Dad mom and me at my second wedding maybe 1991

Perhaps one of the best takeaways I have from my second marriage will forever be this grand picture I have of my parents. I know there is value in Everything.

Mom and dad at my second wedding in FL June 1991

Enjoying our visits

Here’s a couple pictures from one of the times my son and I met them at the Daytona Beach flea market.

Dad mom and Sheila Daytona Beach flea market 2000

Dad mom and Matt at Daytona flea market 2000

I think it was when my son and I had returned from Texas and they drove an hour to meet us. We would always do our best to meet somewhere for a visit, no matter how brief. It was always important for us to stay Connected.

Factoid: My folks always seemed to live a couple hours from wherever we were living in Florida, so a favorite meeting place for years (that was half way) was Titusville.

The following is a sampling of pictures we took during some of our visits:

Marie Mom Dad and Sheila April 2010

Dad and us one Thanksgiving

Matt Richard Sheila Mom and dad at Matts Oct 2012

mom and dad sheila richard and matt Oct 2012

Mom Sheila dad Richard and Matt Oct 2012

dad and sheila dec 2008

dad and marie dec 2008

As things go, many years later, we meet at the Daytona Beach flea market again, but this time, for mom and dad to get a quick visit with their granddaughter and great granddaughter.

Marie Jennifer Mom and Dad at Daytona Beach flea market 2012

Dad and mama got to spend a lot of quality time with my son in the last 10 years or so. More reasons to be thankful.

Dad and Matt maybe three years ago

Mom smiling at Matts Christmas Dec 2013

And I would visit when I could.

Dad Mom and Sheila

Nelson Sheila BettyAnn and Matt

The Caregiver

Dad eventually became a full-time caregiver for my mom, as she was memory impaired and what medical professionals call “a wanderer” for about the last 4 or 5 years of her life. Sadly, last 2 years of mom’s life, dad had to put her in adult diapers. He fed and  clothed her. In short, he did everything for her. She never wanted to go to a nursing home, and she never did.

Mom and Dad Christmas at Matts Dec 2013

Dad and I had our differences over the years, perhaps, most likely even, because I am stubborn and fiercely independent like him. Or for other reasons, yet still undiscovered. However, over the last ten years or so, I grew to hold immense respect for my papa. I watched him do the best he could as mom’s sole caregiver. And I witnessed his enduring love for mama. It really was profound. I will never really know how dad took care of mom. I always encouraged him to put her in a dementia day care center (at least during the half of the year they were in Florida), but he would ask me, “Will they give her back”? And honestly, though I told him they would, I didn’t know.

Because mom and dad were inseparable the last ten years or so, after mom passed, dad would tell me every time we talked, “I just miss her so much.” And I knew he did. When I would see dad, his eyes were bleary at the mention of mom’s name.

Unless you’ve lived it, there’s really no way to explain the futility of Alzheimer’s disease on a person, or on their caregiver. Bless my mother’s heart! And bless my dad’s heart! Dad always told me, and my kids, “Just do the best you can.” I believe he did his best for mama too. 

Mom and dad at Matts in Melbourne 2015

Actually, dad did have some experience with caregiving, as the reason he and my uncle Jack built an indoor bathroom for his mom was because she’d suffered a stroke. This was one of the times dad had mom bleach his hair blonde before a get-together with his mom, sister, and more.

Dad with his mother Gela and girls

60 years together

Mom and dad met in 1959. And as the story of their meeting goes, mom was with a girlfriend and dad was with his buddy, Dick Kight. Dad saw mom at a drive-in burger place. When the girls’ food arrived, dad asked mom for a bite of her sandwich. She told him he should buy his own, but being the kind soul, also gave him a bite. Dad retold this story many times as well, especially reminding me that he’d been with his best friend (synchronistically, Dick later moved to St. Petersburg, Florida and was killed while installing a CB radio antenna.)  In order to find out mom’s name, he had to meet her at church on Sunday.

Dad and mom 2001

mom dad and beau dec 2008

After mom passed away, June 8, 2017, dad told me he wanted to be with mom forever. He also asked my thoughts on our family church and baptism. And he surprised me the morning after mom’s memorial service, stating that he wanted mom’s brother to baptize him.

Obviously, though dad hardly ever attended church with mom and I over the years, her influence from their first meeting at church, until her death, made quite the impression on him. After mom passed, dad asked my uncle (her brother) to baptize him. And so the circle is complete.

 

Dad’s unexpected passing

I know what people say. When a couple’s been together many years and one goes, the other will often follow within a year. But, dad had been doing good! Yes, I realize that he was depressed. Yet, I thought that was the grief process. I know every time he spoke to me about mom, he’d tell me, “I miss her so much.” And that was hard to hear, because I knew he was sincere.

We took the following pictures in West Virginia (after mom passed). Mostly I wanted to get the bear in the photos because dad’s father used to do taxidermy. Plus, the Black bear is a symbol for the state of West Virginia. Even a day after mom passed, I was trying to cheer dad, albeit in whatever small way I could. Dad really didn’t want me to take pictures, but he’d just gotten some new teeth and wanted to see what they’d look like. You can see however, he wasn’t smiling. But I wanted some pictures of dad and my son, and dad and I with the bear too because I didn’t think I’d be back that way for many years.

Note about dad’s beard: Dad was always reinventing his look, dark hair, blonde hair, silver or white hair, long hair, short hair, or he’d shave his head. And he’d gone for years without a beard (as mom never liked it), but as her memory started to go, he’d began wearing a beard.

dad-with-the-bear-jun-2017-1

Dad and Matt with the bear at Days Inn June 2017

Dad and Sheila with the bear June 2017

The next photos are of dad in Florida.

Dad and Matt Fellsmere 2012

My son had quit his job and moved to the same property with dad in south Florida, to help dad organize and sell some things. And while it came as a bit of a surprise, they got an offer on the property (where mom and dad had lived for nearly 40 years), on dad’s birthday in 2018. Dad called me and asked me, “What do you think”? And I said, “I think it’s a sign from mama that the offer has come in on your birthday.” Maybe that was all he needed to hear, but he agreed to the sale. Of course, he had second thoughts later, especially when it actually came time to move. He looked back on a lot of things about that time though, and wondered if it wasn’t too late to sue some people. (And my parents never sued anyone in their life, so I knew dad was doing a lot of thinking.)

Dad sitting Fellsmere 2012

The move (from south to north Florida) went pretty good, I think. And thankfully, my son was able to help dad through it all. 

Dad and Matt in Fellsmere

I’d just visited dad and my son in January at the new property to celebrate what would have been mom and dad’s 59th wedding anniversary, and pre-celebrate my birthday. Dad gave me a 4-way lug wrench. Mostly because he wanted me to put it under the front seat of our car as a weapon in case anyone attacked me. That’s how dad’s think I guess, no matter their age.

My son and his girlfriend spent the last day with dad. Matt and dad had gone to bring back a boat from south to north Florida. The picture of dad and Matt was taken a few years ago.

Dad and Matt in the boat dad moved the day he passed

These are the last pictures of dad with my son, and also of dad with his beloved dog, Annie.

dad and matt last pic together

Dad and Annie

Back to the bear

When my son and I went back to WV a day after dad passed (to tie up loose ends), and I walked back into the same hotel where we’d stayed 21 months prior, I lost it when I saw the bear. 

As I grieve the loss of my dad (in the physical), I find that I could never really know him. And this knowing takes me back to two of my favorite series, Six Feet Under and Dexter. As Scott Buck, a writer on both series often made a foundational point of saying, “We never really know a person.”
I like to compare our personalities to facets inside a kaleidoscope or disco ball. We reflect what we see or imagine others to be.

Dads haircut 2009

During the last 21 months dad would make comments to me about how people in the far past had told untrue stories about him. I suppose that could be true. Even the unpleasant things I remember from my youth, I acknowledge now, were all filtered through the pain of my mother, and my child-eyes. It would take me most of my adult life to understand even a fraction of what they lived through. How could I really? I wasn’t born and raised in their era, with next to nothing. I struggled in my 20s and 30s, yes. But they struggled even more, literally working their fingers to the bone to achieve their American Dream.

Mom Dad Sheila at Canaan Family Reunion 2001

I feel guilty about what I’m about to say now, but as it became ever more clear that mom was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, I once looked at dad and said, “You are paying for the sins of your past.” And he looked shocked and sad. In that deeply connected moment, I felt his pain and disbelief. And in the next moment, I vowed to myself never to utter anything like that to him again.

Dad and mom portrait at age 30

While I don’t discount my memories of past hurts, I realized it was not my place to judge my dad (or really, anyone). And it certainly doesn’t matter now, as all that remains in my heart and mind for my dad is LOVE.
❤️🦋🌀

It’s ANCIENT and Expansive, not NEW AGE

It’s ANCIENT and Expansive, not NEW AGE

My path, my journey, isn’t NEW AGE. My path is an ancient and expansive one, as deep and vast as the Universe itself.

Not new age
Not new age

Besides, NEW AGE is just a label. A way of dividing us.

My friend, Dr. Alison J. Kay sent me (and her subscribers) a beautiful email today explaining it like this,

My path is not “New Age” In fact, it is quite ANCIENT.

There are SO many erroneous portrayals out there now that the enlightenment path, known today as “Awakening” during humanity’s Spiritual Awakening occurring 2012-2032, has coupled with the marketplace.

Social media memes, you tube videos, even our much beloved – and my fellow – New Thought leaders – still focus on information only, which is in the exact opposite direction of the openings required, after a certain point.

https://www.alisonjkay.com

… subscribe to Dr. Alison’s email on her website to read more.

Eternal thanks to Dr. Alison for her timely and resonate email, which sparked me to write this post! XOXOXO

Awakening

Are you Awakening? Are you open to experiencing expansive shifts in your life? You can! It’s possible! Free your mind from the whisper of limitations. Feel for the powerful energy that’s available to us ALL!

  • Work with an aWEsOMe teacher, like Dr. Alison, Sadhguru, Pedram Shojai, Jeff Primack, Dr. Joe Dispenza, or Lama Nicholas Packard, to make massive shifts
  • Put in the consistent discipline required, via meditation, practicing Qigong, yoga, eating high vibrational foods, and so on
  • Know thyself; every thought a prayer, every action in alignment and integrated

It all hinges on one’s ability to know oneself. Put aside your ego mind (in each moment before DOING anything), sit or stand still and KNOW (feel for it) that you are ONE with Omniscience, and that the Universe really does have your back. Always loving you. You’ll know and feel it when you ALIGN with your Soul. With your Purpose. With your power. With Omniscience.

You will walk in integrity as it comes from a deeply embedded place of truth. Truth that resonates from your Soul, that’s pulsating from Omniscience.

Who are we?

Each of us are a fractal of Divine Omniscience! Together an exquisite, ever-changing, brilliant, and powerful kaleidoscope!

An invitation

Come out and play with us, March 2nd and 3rd, 2019 at Awakening Into The Sun in grand downtown St. Petersburg, Florida! Let’s discuss the amazing AWAKENING that’s occurring. It’s a dance, a conversation, a celebration of the expanding positive world we ALL can create–together!

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

For fun

Check out this original song, Dogma. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 1) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself



Join us: 7th annual Awakening Into The Sun FREE health & wellness festival in St. Petersburg, Florida

7th annual Awakening Into The Sun FREE yoga, music, and arts outdoor festival is March 2nd & 3rd, 2019

This will be our best and grandest festival yet! The festival’s 7th year is sure to be the one FREE health and wellness events that will be talked about all year long, so don’t miss it!

http://AwakeningIntoTheSun.org

Over the last six years, the Awakening Into The Sun festival has been the muse to many an artist. Artists who inspire prosperous and expansive consciousness in the world. We learn, grow, and LOVE! Learn about our mission to water your seeds of greatness and help you awaken to your authentic purpose.

We’re going to have free yoga classes, free live music (and folks, these are some of the best around!), health educators, art classes*, and health sessions* such as: crystal bowls, sound therapy, massage, acupuncture and more. As well as, healthy food, pets, art, and lots of sights and sounds to behold.

*Note: Fees will be charged for art classes and certain health sessions.

And there will be lots of vendors (previous years included about 90), of which you can meet and greet, ask questions, sample products, and bring home the items best suited for you and your loved ones.

If you have a marriage license and desire to be wed at the festival, come to the band area–I’m the emcee for the event both days and a Florida licensed notary public and LOVE to marry couples in love! Imagine the blessings you’ll receive from getting married at this holistic event!

For those who have attended in years past, the musical performers you know and love will be joining us again: Duo Vida, Billy Mays III / Infinite Third, Jordyn Zentz, and Eluv (on Saturday); We will also enjoy the luxurious sounds of Lindy Romez & Sol Y Mar, and Latin Rendezvous (on Sunday); Samadhi new to the event this year, will also perform on Sunday. Let’s all of us give our aWEsOMe performers a sunny Florida welcome! I am super excited to see them all again and meet Samadhi!

Then on Sunday about 4pm, we’ll begin gathering for the closing ceremonies, which will be highlighted by the largest drum circle in Florida! Bring your drum, bring your rattles and Tingsha cymbals (I’ll have mine!), and prepare to experience an aWEsOMe awakening, heart-expanding, and soul-connecting time!

For all of the information be sure to visit the official festival website: Awakening Into the Sun

Your soul-aligned friend in Connection.

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, Dogma. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 1) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

The Veil

Beyond the veil

Everyone knows the material world where we exist, as we experience it via our five senses: Sight, Sound, Touch, Taste, and Smell.

But not all of us have the ability to access all five senses. Not everyone an see or hear as well as another. Some of us are very sensitive in one or more ways. And fewer can access a sixth sense.

Of those who have the ability to perceive a sixth sense, how does that work?

Most cultures and religions teach that the sixth sense is an awareness of what’s beyond the veil.

The veil

When I met my unborn sister, Christina, in the ethereal realm (which I call the Grand Beyond), she first appeared to me as a little blue dot (read about that here).

Christina’s blue was a brilliant indigo cobalt hue, one that I hadn’t seen before, at least not one that I had paid much attention to before. Blue was my mother’s favorite color, but it wasn’t mine.

10 Things Unseen Mood Indigo10 Things Unseen Mood Indigo

Nevertheless, blue, especially indigo cobalt are my favorite shades now, due to the spiritual connection I have with them, and with Christina. 💙🦋🌀

Christina gave me a glimpse beyond the veil that separates the living from those who exist on a different plane, or dimension–the Grand Beyond.

Why does the veil exist?

It seems only logical that the veil exists as a temporary boundary to keep those on the physical side focused on what’s going on in the material world.

Perhaps the veil offers us protection from the Sacred things we are scared of.

Some aspect of ourselves does not want to know what lies beneath or beyond.

I know people who won’t meditate because they are scared of what they might find. While practiced meditators look forward to the stillness that descends without worry or attachment.

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/on-needing-to-find-something-to-worry-about/

Our Soul is always attached

From what I have learned and experienced, our Soul is always connected to the Grand Beyond. And if we want to peek behind the veil, if we have that desire, it’s possible, though for many it takes some dedication. That’s because most of us only believe we are our body. Plus, one must slip out of the Ego mind.

Like a woven tapestry, the lines that connect us ALL intersect. If we are not ready to accept this knowing, if our mental capacity (think electrical capacitors, but biological ones within our brain) is not quite ready, we might literally blow a fuse!

For some (who are already fairly spiritual), practicing deep breathing or silent meditation is all that is needed for access.

Others can work with a hypnotherapist to be guided into a deeply relaxed state. Or some may find that space during a massage, or while practicing yoga or qigong.

If words or sounds bother you, stillness may be all you need. If you have not mastered your mind yet, to let go of attachments, you may need a structured approach.

My review of the book, Soul Explorer.

❤️🦋🌀

Gaining access

Access to the ethereal realms can be found in many ways. Some follow rules to open their Akashic records. Some meditate and chant. Some know their access beyond the veil is only a focused breath away.

I believe authentic intention with focused attention on the letting go of the Ego is all that is required. This allows you to sort of go into a fuzzy or haze-like space, and then, you are there.

What’s next?

Ask your questions.

Sit.

Wait for your answers.

When you feel complete, express that and offer your thanks.

Breathe in and out Gratitude for this Connected experience.

Ground and center yourself in the material NOW before going about physical tasks.

Namaste. OM

Check out this original song, Can’t Feel the Love. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 4) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb5

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Borders, boundaries, and walls

Boundaries

Isn’t it interesting that as the author of The fences of religion, I’m now making a case for a border wall? I’ve turned the kaleidoscope to look at this subject in a multitude of ways.

To every season, turn, turn, turn.

Information has recently come my way in defense of a U.S. and Mexican border wall, and I know many of my readers may be surprised (even disheartened), as to my feelings on this hotly debated issue.

But, as someone with skin in this (as my husband is one of the more than 800,000 furloughed workers–because 800,000 only counts the federal employees and my husband is a contractor), and much of NASA is closed down, I thought I should weigh in. I don’t have to go public with my opinion–so, grant me this before berating me, okay?

I’ve written about some deep topics on this blog before, though nothing political. That’s because as a registered Independent, I don’t vote in either primary election.

I was raised as a Republican, and changed to a Democrat in my 30s. Now, I’m pretty much fed up with the two major parties and lean towards the Green or Libertarian parties. We need to govern by the Constitution.

Wall of water

Remember the wall of water near the end of the movie, The Abyss?

Abyss wall of water
Abyss wall of water

That’s kind of how I see this southern border wall issue. In the movie, the aliens needed to remain in the water, but Ed Harris needed to breathe, so they parted the water forming a water wall, yet continue to communicate.

In an upcoming article, I’ll tell you why I believe “the veil” is a temporary boundary.

Temporary

Walls are a temporary measure (all man made things are temporary), until hearts and minds change and there is no more need for “protection.”

Protection

Until the word, PROTECT, is removed from the dictionary, the constitution, oaths, etc. we need border security. We need to at least slow the flow of illegal immigrants from coming across the southern border. Besides, the democrats voted for the wall when Obama was president. They can vote for it now. I’m tired of the childish BS. And I’m really tired of the propaganda.

The question really is one of protection. And anyone who’s read my blog, Take It Upon Yourself, knows how much I love to dig into the real questions. The deep questions.

When we get to the mindset that “it really is all good” and that there is “value in Everything”, perhaps the emphasis will shift from protection to compassion and connection (which is what I inherently desire). This is why I’ve been silent on this issue until now.

Under construction

I didn’t know until the other day that the Army Corp of Engineers is already building The WALL in sections, and replacing sections of old wall! So…this IS happening no matter what the Dems want.

Other walls

Israel has a wall. Israel says that wall is for border security. And from what I’ve read, Congress had no problem funding it (no problem continuing to send money to Israel though they have a wall). I don’t like what’s going on there either, but that’s another story and why I wouldn’t want to live there. Thank Omniscience I was born in THIS country.

The great wall of China certainly served a purpose in its time.

Great wall of ChinaGreat wall of China

Division in Nature

Every living thing has walls and borders—including us. It’s called skin. Cells have walls. Organs have walls. Walls are necessary to control order and flow.

If our blood vessels didn’t have walls, we wouldn’t live very long. So, it seems walls are needed to ensure things work. Division is necessary for a design to work.

Holism and Oneness simply allows for ALL to work.

One of the beautiful things about the Universe is how it organizes things, but I digress. I just don’t think walls are inherently bad. There is value in Everything.

Applying logic

For some time now, I’ve been on the fence about this whole issue, because by nature, I’m a “don’t fence me in” girl (note the picture of my granddaughter at the mountain top park fence), with one of my favorite songs from the 1960s being, “Tear Down the Fences.”

With my nature to explore, roam, etc. and be migratory (we are full-time RVers and I am of Native American heritage in part), I am all for having the freedom to move about. But, I can’t walk into someone else’s house uninvited. I can’t scale the wall of my favorite actors home without being shot. And I’m glad there are electric fences and armed guards around prisons.

But, as I looked at the picture of Jennifer at the fence today, my AHA moment was that the fence protected her from falling over the edge (of the mountain).

Don’t fence me in
Don’t fence me in

Notes

Philosophically and spiritually, I agree with those who say that borders and walls separate. Obviously, right? I mean, I’m the one who writes that We Are All Connected. And for many years, I have said that you cannot legislate morality.

I watched the Berlin wall be taken down (and had a chunk of it), and supported the fall of the wall at the time. However, hearts and minds have to change first.

I am always seeking balance, and because I doubt much that is shared from the far left and the far right, any negative comments will be deleted.

Life’s short. Feel good. ❤️🦋☯️

Check out this original song, Ain’t Workin’ Blues. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 7) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

aWEsOMe

Isn’t wordplay aWEsOMe?

I love picking out words within words to emphasize a point. And the word ‘aWEsOMe’ is a perfect illustration of this.

aWEsOMe
aWEsOMe

You see, I love meditation. And one day, as I was complimenting someone about something, when I wrote the word, ‘awesome’, the letters WE OM jumped right out at me! (Yes, I use OM, also spelled AUM, in my meditation.)

Astonished at first, over time I began to realize that my ability to spot patterns–also why I love my work in technology–was why certain letters would sort of pop out to me. I learned that I could artistically write words this way to influence a specific purpose.

For the past couple of years I have signed off my emails with the words, “In Joy” because I understood the meaning of ‘enjoy’ as a way of living IN the state of joy.

Emphasizing hidden meaning

An intuitive dear heart and friend of mine blogs often, and also writes some words using capital letters to emphasize the words’ meaning. I love that! (You can check her blog out here.)

Alania writes words such as, ‘ReMember’, ‘ReConnected’, ‘mySelf’, ‘SEEing’, and ‘BEing’, to assist us in our focus. To shine a spotlight on the important aspects of those words.

I have been writing aWEsOMe in this way for some time now as a gift to all who read it, as a way to (perhaps subliminally) accept meditation into their daily routine.

My Facebook friends often see my write the word, ‘crazy’, like this: cRaZy (though in this example the R and Z aren’t important–I just think the mix of every other letter from capitals to lowercase lends itself to the mixed up meaning of the word.

I am pondering the word, scared. Ever notice that it contains the same letters as the word, Sacred? Wondering why we’re sometimes scared of the Sacred things.

I enjoy the expansiveness of the word ‘ALL’ within the word, ‘always’, and you’ll find that I often close emails and articles using it.

What are your favorite words?

What thoughts and words mean a lot to you?

OM is very important to me, and may be my most favorite word because it represents Omniscience, Omnipresence, and Omnipotence. Indeed, the Omni of Everything.

The synchronicity play of the Universe has not been lost on me, it’s just taken me a few years to see it when it comes down to names:

Look at the ALL I found in some names of my “teachers”:

Allen – first husband

Alania – teacher friend

Alison – Energy Medicine Doctor friend

Why do some people believe Love hurts?

Because they are only flowing that Energy one way. It’s not connecting and they feel the disconnect, loss, grief, etc.

We Are All Connected, yes. However, we have Free Will to block it and pinch off the flow.

AbSOULutely

Sorcery — Source…

Interesting, huh?

Always — All ways.

Blessings to you in ALL ways.

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, It All Starts Within You. It’s one of my husband’s tunes – performed and recorded in Nashville, TN. You can download it (it’s Track 9) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordband2

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Lessons from mom

While my son and I helped dad pack things up, after my dad was mentally and emotionally able to sell the property and mobile home in south Florida where we’d first landed after relocating in 1985 from West Virginia, I found several things that answered some questions I’d had for many years.

Diary pages

Along with several diary pages that mom had written in the 1960s and 1970s, I found an unsigned letter to her that made me question which is more important taking advice from family or from friends.

The statement in the letter that got me was, “I’m disappointed in you that you feel that your friends understand you better than your family (and me).”

Old typed letter
Old typed letter

Who wrote it?

I have an idea of who the letter is from, but I am not sure. It was typed, single spaced on one sheet of paper.

As of this moment, it doesn’t matter to me who wrote the letter.

I will say that it ended on what I would consider to be a positive note, though still preachy.

“Don’t continually think about what is in your past. Let’s live for the future.”

Now, as for me, “I’ve had my share of sad kicks in my face, but I have come through” (to quote from one of my favorite Queen songs, We Are The Champions).

I haven’t cried much in the last year since mom passed, mostly because I still communicate with her in subtle ways, and I am keenly aware of her continuation in my life by occurring synchronicities.

Yet, today, I cried.

I had meditated and upon coming out of meditation, I was filled with emotion. I cried and spoke the following aloud:

Family reflect who we were; friends reflect who we are. 

Family reflect who we once were, or who we were in the past. But, our friends reflect who we are now, who we’ve become, and how much we’ve grown (or not). That’s why we sometimes tend to love our friends more than our family. Yet, some of us (like me), who are very blessed, have family we are also friends with and who we want to spend eternity with. Time limits us, but thankfully (Thank you, God), that eternity is not limited.

Here’s something that’s true for most of us. We’re stuck in a box, or bottle. Even if its clear.

The box or bottle I’m referring to? The fences (rules) of religion—even when religion supposedly isn’t involved.

From a dream

Dream: Mom was reminding me about all the notations she had made in her Bible about “No gossip”, and “not to gossip.”

And that’s because all learning must be Experiential learning—coming from direct experience, which is also why Jesus said let thy speech be yay or nay. He knew that we can never really know the truth of another.

Someone may try to warn you of another. But we all experience each other differently because who we are in any given moment, elicits something different from the person. Many times we’ve experienced this. It’s the situation when one divorced person marries another and they get along gloriously. The “bad” partner may get along with another just fine.

Each of us experience life differently. We just can never fully know someone. People lie. People pretend.

I think most of us want to put our best self forward—but, for most this involves wearing a kind of mask. Call it the mask of pretense. It’s the face of kindness, compassion, peace, or love, while inside ourselves we feel anger, resentment, sadness, jealousy, or regret.

Thank you.

I miss you mama. Thank you. Thank you for teaching me everything I needed to know (when you could barely talk anymore), by looking in my eyes and placing your hand on the side of my face. And for always living in utter GRATITUDE the last years of your life (though your surroundings were not as you once would have wanted). You came to a place of not knowing or of acceptance, it doesn’t matter which, because you were grateful. You became Grace.

I only cry because I never got to tell you how much I got that lesson, how deeply I learned that last lesson from you. I continue forward, with understanding.

Nothing really matters, or everything matters. Each of us get to choose. Who do you love?

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

UPDATE: I found the rest of the letter, and it was NOT from whom I had thought! And the rest of it brought the earlier statements into balance with love and grace, so I have learned another lesson. I continue to feel Gratitude. Tears! 😭

A bit about me:

Check out this original song, Didn’t I Tell You. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 6) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb2

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

The fences of religion

The fences (rules) of the religions of the world are somewhat similar. Have you noticed that?

Defining the rules

By definition, the rules of religion are the dogma, doctrine, or set of beliefs taught by a religious entity, whether that be a denomination, or sect. Of course, political parties, institutions of higher education, civic organizations and others can have dogmatic rules of order too, but for purposes of this discussion, I’ll limit my scope to faith oriented groups.

The rules of engagement can be based on written texts, such as the Holy Bible, of which exist a variety of translations and versions, but also taught by example. Before written texts, the rules were passed down through repetitive stories.

If you attend a synagogue, mosque, or church, you by no doubt, know there are many rules you should follow–whether you believe in all of them or not.

Walled church
Walled church

Short version: Fences (rules) are restricting.

Is it any wonder that we are so divided?

I believe we’ve been restricted (and segregated) for far too long. It is time to think deeper, broader.

When I think of God, I’m referring to LIMITLESS Omniscience. I use the name “God” in this article as it is the most widely known name to represent the Highest Sacred diety, Creator, or Source.

Every religion seems to define God differently. Some, even say that God is the personage of Jesus–and then go about portraying Jesus in different ways. Even with all the variety of beliefs, I stand by the fact that We Are All Connected. And I feel people (with or without faith) have more in common than we realize.

To me, the point is that each of us should be a living testimony of God because we are a fractal of Omniscience. Taking care of our body temple, aligning with our soul, mastering our mind, thoughts, heart, emotions, and impulses. The Kingdom of God is in our own hands. Omniscience looks upon our heart and sees our intentions.

My intention by writing this article is to open the eyes of some, and provide you with a broader understanding of your neighbor. You know, the one you’ve been taught to Love.

The long version:

Thus, here are the GENERAL RULES (noting if applicable to specific religions) I discovered that can keep followers fenced in (like a herd of sheep) to a particular faith.

Defining God. Speaking of God, who is God? The organization will tell you, in fact, preach to you, about their idea of who and what God is and if there’s only one, or many. Who are WE to attempt to define God? How presumptuous of us mere humans!

Defining Heaven. Everything about what Heaven is and how to get in is taught to you via your religion. There are rules specific to that, which are primarily the rules of the religious organization, because that’s the goal of most organized religions.

Holy Book. Almost every organized religion or faith, has a Holy book, whether it be a Bible, Book of Morman, Doctrine & Covenants, Qur’an, Hadith, Torah (Pentateuch), Tanach, Mishnah, Talmud and Midrash, Upanishads, Vedas, Bhagavad Gita, Tao Te Ching, Sutras, Tripitaka, or other. There are many Holy books, yet most people are only aware of a fraction of these, much less have they bothered to read from any of them. And then, within these books, there are hundreds of various translations.

Remember that pretend phone game most of us learned in elementary school where each would whisper a word in the child’s ear next to you? By the time the word was passed around the circle, the word at the end was totally different than the word spoken in the beginning! It’s kind of like that when it comes to gaining any kind of understanding of God from one version of one book. And books can divide, especially when one group says their book describes the ONLY way to God and Heaven.

Know the “Word of God.” Whatever scripture the religion uses, you’d better read it, know it, memorize it and such, so you’ll not be tempted to go in any other direction. And only read the specific translation the faith deems “true.” Far be it from you to read any other scripture, indeed your religion will likely tell you that any other spiritual type of work is devilish.

Beliefs. Do good things. Follow the commands. And if you don’t, confess your sins to someone else and ask God to forgive you. God forbid you do anything wrong = sin. And saying there’s no God (blasphemy), well, that will land you right in some eternal burning lake of fire. Eeks!

Fellowship. It feels good to congregate with people of like-mind. And they want to keep you thinking the same way. If you think or speak outside of the box, you’ll receive everything from a discouraging look to a stern lecture. Of course each congregation tends to segregate and limit who can attend.

Membership. Following attendance, but with stricter rules, is membership. Once you’ve been attending for awhile you are invited to become a privileged “member.” And once invited, you had better become a member, else, be damned. Once a member, never question your membership or you run the high risk of being booted out, ostracized, banished, or worse. Some faiths go so far as to ever let you see your family again, as is the case with the Amish and Scientologists.

Money. To keep the faith going, build and maintain churches, pay the clergy, and so on, members are highly encouraged to donate 10 percent (or some certain set percentage) of money in tithes to the organization. And unless you serve on the budget committee, you are never to question where the money goes.

Recruit. The religion must grow and keep their numbers up–to keep the money flowing in and the morale up. By keeping morale high, it sets the organization up for boasting that their God is bigger than another organization’s God.

Conversely, though the religion wants to grow, many will limit who can join. This is limiting, restrictive, and such a paradox!

Symbology. Some might call these statues, icons, idols, monuments, totems, or other types of engraved symbols that memorialize and pay tribute to the religion. There are caves, paintings, geometric designs (circles, spirals, wheels, and crosses) roads, hills, alters, man made items (rugs, mats, knives, beads, stained glass), celestial bodies (like the sun, moon, and stars), statues of saints or other revered entities. The list is nearly endless. If you can observe it and draw it, it’s probably associated with some religion.

Rituals. Or not. Being quiet, making certain sounds, singing, dancing, smudging, standing, sitting, or kneeling at prescribed times and places and with a certain goal in mind (to either reach or please God, or the essence of our soul). Placing hands together in prayer pose, kneeling on one or both knees, or using prayer beads (Catholics), or prayer rugs or mats (Muslims). And of course, the rituals of blessings, baptisms, and confessing one to another or to a priest (someone who’s supposed to be living a righteous life).

Prayer. Some sort of memorized prayers, or rites and methods are often taught. Along with the previous ritual involved in praying, whether it be how to pray, when to pray (at a certain time of day or night), kneeling, standing, or lying flat on the ground. In the Islamic religion prayers are directional–always toward Mecca.

Thoughts. Speaking of prayer, we are not only taught to pray, but what words make up a good prayer. We are always asking for something. Usually for ourselves more than for others, but of course, praying for a better situation for others is supposed to be the best prayers, as what we ask God to do for others, God will also do for us.

Meditation. Most Western religions do not allow meditation, either in church or outside of it. (Unity based organizations allow and encourage meditation.) Sometimes an organization will use the term meditation, but it’s use is defined by meditating on a particular scripture passage (Christian) or mantra (Hinduism). We wouldn’t want you falling into a deep mental abyss.

Clothing. Every organized religions loves to set a standard dress code, whether by written rule or by peer pressure. Each member promotes the standard to visitors begin to conform over time. Naturally, (cough) God deserves to see us in our best attire. And for the ladies, modest attire–typically a dress that covers most of the body. Some prescribe head coverings.

Buildings. The members typically always meet in a building, whether it be a church, synagogue, temple, spiritual center, ashram, or other. This almost always involves meeting in a building that someone will need to pay for, and maintain, which leads members to believe that donations and tithes must be given without question.

Security. Lock it up. Protect it. Only go to the religious building when it’s open. And be on time. The building is there for groups, not for individuals or families to take shelter during a crisis. Their insurance rates would go up. This is perhaps one of the most ludicrous reasons for NOT believing that worshippers need an assembly building in which to meet. Talk about FAITH! Oh, ye of little faith! Do you not remember that EVERYTHING belongs to God?

Defend it. Similar to Security, Membership, and Recruitment, followers of various religions typically feel the need to defend the belief. Why? Will the dogma of the faith fall apart without people ready and willing to sacrifice all to defend it?

Timing. This rule goes hand in hand with rituals and having to go into buildings. Don’t go in or out, stay seated until you are directed to stand or kneel, and exit at the end of the service in an orderly fashion.

Children. This could also come under the heading of Behavior. Don’t allow your children to be disruptive during any assembly meeting. Children must obey their parents and guardians.

Joy. Don’t smile too much, or be too happy. Serving God is serious business. Someone might think you’re up to something if you’re always joyful.

Curiousity. Don’t bother asking any tough spiritual questions. And never talk down, back to, or get uppity with any member of the clergy.

Adherence. Be sure to follow all of the rules to the best of your ability, never mind what the preacher, priest, or other leader is doing (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain). All religions teach some sort of “right action.”

Needs. Look how far down the list we find “needs.” Is it any wonder so many of us have a hard time when it comes to “receiving”?

When you need help (for a health, spiritual, family, relationship, or financial matter) call the clergy.

Do you do that? If not, why not?

Don’t you believe that they’ll be there for you? Isn’t that one of their primary duties, beside getting to know who God is, studying, and healing people? The clergy is supposed to be there for you in your time of need. They exist in these roles to pray with you, instruct, and guide you in right action. They’re supposed to visit with you in your home if need be. They’re even supposed to offer you monetary support when you need it (though it’s likely they won’t pay your bills).

Did I miss anything?

I’d like this to be an open dialogue, so please comment of any rules I missed, or rules you feel you should follow that I haven’t mentioned.

As I’ve written before, an Omniscient LIMITLESS God, Creator, Source Energy can never be fully understood as that would be like trying to see every glint of sun on every wave in the ocean, and more—all at the same time.

I believe for every question there is an answer, but that those answers will not cover every question because there are limitless scenarios in which one could ask the same question, thus putting a different spin on the answer.

Christians believe Jesus will return, but then they don’t believe in reincarnation. And that sounds like a logic problem to me.

NOTE: I credit my beloved mother with the phrase, “fences of religion.” How can that be? Well, I woke up early the morning of Oct. 25th, 2018, after a dream I’d had of my mother (who’s part of the Grand Beyond). In the dream, mom inspired me (and has prodded me a few times since) to write this blog article. We’re all part of Omniscience, believe it or not. Omniscience isn’t a belief to me, it’s a knowing. And the more I connect and align to the essence of my soul, the more I feel the “realness” of that knowing. OM

Tear down the fences and love one another right now. ❤️🦋🌀

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, Dogma. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 1) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Speaking MY truth on church coverups

Speaking one’s truth

One of my beloved cousins told me to speak my truth years ago, but I wasn’t always brave enough to do so, for fear of hurting other people’s feelings.
Then, one day, I realized I am not responsible for other people’s feelings and cannot please everyone.

Ruffling feathers

So, what did I say that ruffled some feathers?
Well, I spoke my truth in response to a Facebook post about a 70+ year coverup involving abuse and rape of children in the Catholic church! These horrors were put upon innocent and trusting children as young as, in one documented case, 18 months of age!

Accountability

Church members (definitely the upper clergy members) are supposed to hold each other accountable. Far too many forget this.
Everyone has the ability to choose Compassion and forgive.
Everyone has the right to choose their faith.
But, clergy in the Catholic church allowed the abuse and rape of children to go on and on. And the higher ups covered it up!
Only Omniscient God can forgive such defiling acts.

Omniscience resolves ALL
Omniscience resolves ALL

As a church goer, do you hold your clergy accountable?
How would you know if he or she was a predator?

Are you complicit?

If everyone would QUIT attending, the churches would fall overnight. No attendees = no church. Everyone is complicit in this who knowingly attends and puts time and money into these institutions.
Way past the time for people to wake up!

Perspective

Yes, I shared from MY unique vantage point. I shared my perspective. How dare I throw out my opinion to an unsuspecting, conditioned group of friends and family on Facebook? Ha! Oh, ye of little backbone.
Truth is being revealed.

Be responsible for your feelings

Every one of us are responsible for how WE feel.
I cannot MAKE anyone happy.
I am the only one who can allow another person to upset me. And I wish I wouldn’t, so I am constantly learning and improving my emotional balance.
I’ve learned, I can choose to tend to my own feelings and BE happy in most of the moments, hours, days, weeks, months, and years of my life. It’s ALL a choice.
I have to pay attention to how I am feeling, and then be decisive on whether I’m going to get tied up in some upsetting thought, or turn to a pleasant topic.
Now, everyone (in particular, my family) should know where I stand—or FLOW—with issues because I write to a world audience on two blogs, in two books (with a third due out any day), and so forth. But, let’s assume you haven’t read anything I’ve written before.

Intentions

If you know me, you know it’s never my intention to hurt anyone. As that’s not me. Not my nature.
I share from my open heart. And sometimes, yes, perhaps often, I open mySelf up to more abuse by speaking my truth. So be it. I stand in my power. I stand in my own alignment with my Soul, Holy Spirit, Holy Ghost, or whatever you choose to call the Presence of Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient Creator God.
Perhaps I do cast my pearls before swine. But, to the core of my BEing, I am a teacher, a way shower. I am doing what I am called to do, to hasten the Light of our Ever-Living Creator into the dark shadows.
So, before you allow something I say or write to upset your little apple cart, you might seek first to understand, before rushing to judgment.
After all this, if you are hurt by what I say or write, feel free to change the channel. Some have, some will, but that’s what I write most about—choice!
I have been posting or commenting on open online forums since 1990. Thus, it’s really on you if you don’t know who I am.
My ego is not hurt or offended if you disagree with what I say or write.
Do I give my time and money to institutions that HIDE their misdeeds in secret? No!
It is never my intention to be hurtful or disrespectful, but only in our NOW experience, is where our power is, and it affords us the ability to CHOOSE to do something to end the abuse.

Here’s what I DO stand for:

  • I speak FOR and in support of the abused children.
  • I am for school choice.
  • I am for parental involvement in school affairs and doctor / coach visits.
  • I am for transparency.
  • I am for statutory change.

If you stand for the same, here’s what that might look like:

  • Walk into your child’s classroom unannounced to check on the well-being of your child (and all children).
  • Spend some time getting to know the kids your child goes to school with.
  • Spend some time getting to know the people who teach your child/children.
  • Home school your children.
  • Only support churches that have transparent policies and no hidden secrets (or perhaps none at all as your body is a temple and “church” can be a simple self practice or gathering of two or more).
  • Boldly attend coaching sessions, doctor visits with your child.
  • Do not abdicate YOUR responsibility! There are things you’re called to be responsible for–and the safety of your children is top priority.

Who deserves honor?

To many times we think we’re honoring people in our past who trained us (such as my aunt who attended Catholic nursing school), or relatives whom we love, by going along with their beliefs instead of studying for ourself and aligning with Omniscience Creator.
And if you’re a “believer” you should know better. You should know what it feels like to align with the Holy Ghost before you EVER condemn another.

Do not let your so-called “honor” of your own past experiences, or any other’s beliefs (because you’re people-pleasing), override your own Soul-calling (or Holy Ghost) NOW choice to speak up and out in service to protect children.

Grace

Yes, do I believe in Grace. AbSOULutely.

But, only our LIMITLESS God can offer grace in ALL areas and in all circumstances.

I write to a global audience.

Be in alignment with your soul

I coach people on how they can shift their thoughts, way before any abuse can occur.
When I say, “I draw the line at abuse and rape.” It is because I mind my own thoughts (mind my own business), until someone hurts a child.

Performing grievous acts while hiding behind ANY religion is blasphemous to Omniscience!

As always watching the news or reading anyone’s Facebook is your choice.

I am HERE to speak MY truth and offer suggestions for coming into alignment with Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, LIMITLESS, Creator God.

Do what feels more aligned with your Soul.

I do.

Thank you to those who have prompted me to share this and feel lighter today.
Be ye blessed in ALL ways.

Be the person your Soul knows you are!

Namaste. OM

UPDATE:

I feel like John Lennon may have felt after releasing his song, Imagine.

People will take this article and my small opinion about it in a variety of ways based on their own filters, conditioning, and experience.

I have written publicly about my dislike of organized religion for over 10 years. Check my blog.

I never said I wanted anyone to leave God.

I write volumes about God. About the Omniscience, Omnipotence, and Omnipresence of God.

I was awakened in the middle of the night, the day I shared this. I was told to “DO SOMETHING.” It was the night I happened to see only a short clip of this story. I then, spent hours watching survivor stories, BEFORE writing a few sentences above this post.

I am NOT arrogant, never have been. I doubt my sharing will make much difference. I am only following through to “do something.”

My apologies have been sent to the dear friends who were hurt by my words. I ALLOWED mySelf to be hurt by some comments from family. But, no more.

We each have our opinions. I will always listen. But, I will not comment anymore here. That ship has sailed.

I feel a lot of growth has occurred from this exchange.

From now on, I earnestly pray for the recovery of the victims in this story, and ALL victims of abuse, physical, mental, and emotional. Peace.

P.S.
To my family, or anyone who would feel better about judging me for MY choices:
I love you very much.

Do NOT judge me as being someone who aligns with “satan” or dark, dense forces, as I surely do not.

How dare you?

You obviously know NOTHING about me, or the Lord you claim to serve by throwing stones of judgment toward me.

I speak my truth and call out the predators of this world who harm children and you have the audacity to speak against me?

What saddens me is all of the judgment I am receiving from so-called loved ones, when I speak my truth. Wake up! You crucify Christ all over again!

Would you call Jesus the devil for overthrowing the money changers’ tables in the temple?

Sheeple!

We are called to study to show ourselves approved, NOT by following what some pastor says, or whether you attend ANY church! Study ALL of the Holy Words! There is more than one.

Be careful that you do not become self righteous hypocrites.

Remember what Jesus taught about throwing stones? Have you looked in the mirror and found yourself blameless?

If you are so weak that you cannot handle the world without church, then you are the one who needs to spend some time Connecting with Omniscience to gird up your loins and find your authentic voice! I have found my voice and take responsibility for it.

I stand in my powerful alignment with Omniscience.

I am calling out for people to not align with those who hide behind religion to hurt children.

And it happens to girls too:

https://youtu.be/OQcbtLOcHtg

This is what I’ve been shown to do. You do not have to listen to me.

I hope you spend your time and money with those whom you align with. For Jesus said there will your heart be also.

I do hope the people you’re hanging out with are of the utmost and highest good for your soul’s journey and not hurting a child in the back room.

My prayer is: Omniscience, above and through ALL, forgive them for they know not what they do.

OM

Check out this original song, Dogma. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 1) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself