Lessons from mom

While my son and I helped dad pack things up, after my dad was mentally and emotionally able to sell the property and mobile home in south Florida where we’d first landed after relocating in 1985 from West Virginia, I found several things that answered some questions I’d had for many years.

Diary pages

Along with several diary pages that mom had written in the 1960s and 1970s, I found an unsigned letter to her that made me question which is more important taking advice from family or from friends.

The statement in the letter that got me was, “I’m disappointed in you that you feel that your friends understand you better than your family (and me).”

Old typed letter
Old typed letter

Who wrote it?

I have an idea of who the letter is from, but I am not sure. It was typed, single spaced on one sheet of paper.

As of this moment, it doesn’t matter to me who wrote the letter.

I will say that it ended on what I would consider to be a positive note, though still preachy.

“Don’t continually think about what is in your past. Let’s live for the future.”

Now, as for me, “I’ve had my share of sad kicks in my face, but I have come through” (to quote from one of my favorite Queen songs, We Are The Champions).

I haven’t cried much in the last year since mom passed, mostly because I still communicate with her in subtle ways, and I am keenly aware of her continuation in my life by occurring synchronicities.

Yet, today, I cried.

I had meditated and upon coming out of meditation, I was filled with emotion. I cried and spoke the following aloud:

Family reflect who we were; friends reflect who we are. 

Family reflect who we once were, or who we were in the past. But, our friends reflect who we are now, who we’ve become, and how much we’ve grown (or not). That’s why we sometimes tend to love our friends more than our family. Yet, some of us (like me), who are very blessed, have family we are also friends with and who we want to spend eternity with. Time limits us, but thankfully (Thank you, God), that eternity is not limited.

Here’s something that’s true for most of us. We’re stuck in a box, or bottle. Even if its clear.

The box or bottle I’m referring to? The fences (rules) of religion—even when religion supposedly isn’t involved.

From a dream

Dream: Mom was reminding me about all the notations she had made in her Bible about “No gossip”, and “not to gossip.”

And that’s because all learning must be Experiential learning—coming from direct experience, which is also why Jesus said let thy speech be yay or nay. He knew that we can never really know the truth of another.

Someone may try to warn you of another. But we all experience each other differently because who we are in any given moment, elicits something different from the person. Many times we’ve experienced this. It’s the situation when one divorced person marries another and they get along gloriously. The “bad” partner may get along with another just fine.

Each of us experience life differently. We just can never fully know someone. People lie. People pretend.

I think most of us want to put our best self forward—but, for most this involves wearing a kind of mask. Call it the mask of pretense. It’s the face of kindness, compassion, peace, or love, while inside ourselves we feel anger, resentment, sadness, jealousy, or regret.

Thank you.

I miss you mama. Thank you. Thank you for teaching me everything I needed to know (when you could barely talk anymore), by looking in my eyes and placing your hand on the side of my face. And for always living in utter GRATITUDE the last years of your life (though your surroundings were not as you once would have wanted). You came to a place of not knowing or of acceptance, it doesn’t matter which, because you were grateful. You became Grace.

I only cry because I never got to tell you how much I got that lesson, how deeply I learned that last lesson from you. I continue forward, with understanding.

Nothing really matters, or everything matters. Each of us get to choose. Who do you love?

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

UPDATE: I found the rest of the letter, and it was NOT from whom I had thought! And the rest of it brought the earlier statements into balance with love and grace, so I have learned another lesson. I continue to feel Gratitude. Tears! 😭

UPDATE 7-Jun-2019: As I was washing the Lifetime brand (which really do last a lifetime) of pots and pans (that dad gave me years ago), it hit me why mom always LOVED to clean house–it put her in a meditative state! Ah! Yes, my aha moment today. And it brought tears to my eyes. OM

After that, I was looking through pictures of a book I’d bought my granddaughter last year (yes, I save things like that), and it highlighted my new found awareness:

CREDIT: Buddha Doodles, by Molly Hahn
CREDIT: Buddha Doodles, by Molly Hahn

 

A bit about me:

Check out this original song, Didn’t I Tell You. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 6) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb2

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

My Conscious Calling

Soul Calling

I’ve shared this publicly before (on another website) back in 2008. But I found it again and thought I’d update it a bit to share here, on my personal site.

What is my Conscious Calling? Or, I could ask that another way. What is my Soul Calling?
What is my Soul Calling?
Soul Calling

To redefine and grow mySelf in all areas of my life, with grace and ease, while sharing my truth openly and freely with others. Hopefully, my words will assist others, and empower each to find, or redefine their own truth, open to new things, see the Universe as friendly, awaken to the unseen world around them, and love God and others, more deeply and profoundly.

What the Soul wants

We are all connected. And I honor this knowing by maintaining a Facebook group by that name, and a blog page about all the ways we are connected.

I continue to learn and share about the mind, spirit, soul, and body connections we share, especially as it comes to bringing clarity, focus, and vision into my life and those I directly connect with, living every moment acknowledging spirit, and eating more plant-based raw foods + superfoods to enable more vitality to the body I inhabit.

Right and left brain

I am a creative and technical computer systems professional, and I currently still enjoy the “play” of that. When I find it no longer amusing, it will leave my experience like a falling leaf from a tree.

BEing online

For many years, I’ve been a participant on many internet sites such as, LinkedIn, Plaxo, Twitter, MySpace, Pinterest, Instagram, Yelp, Amazon, Facebook (on and off), this particular blog site: TakeItUponYourself, Being Wholly Vibrant, and more! I previously wrote about natural and holistic information under the name of: Mind 2 Xdreamz, and I previously developed and maintained a marketing website called Design2Xdreamz because the unlimited potentiality of being online fascinated me!

Passion for health

My secret to healthy living?

  • Understanding that the body obeys mind and spirit,
  • Understanding that no one needs to suffer,
  • Acknowledging and accepting that everything happens for a reason,
  • Joyously allowing and relishing in even the smallest of synchronicities,
  • Eating a mostly raw food diet and getting enough sleep and exercise so that the body I inhabit (my temple) is healthy and able to do everything I have been purposed on this planet to do,
  • Just “Be”ing,
  • Praying for all those I meet whenever they come to mind, breathing in the breath of God while walking, breathing out the life breath to the plant world, Using Energy Medicine and essential oils daily,
  • Living in a state of gratitude and harmony BE-ing connected to all of you,
  • Loving my family: My aWEsOMe supportive husband (so glad he found me in 2001), two grown children (Marie and Matt), our super duper and sweetie pie granddaughters, as well as, all living beings–plants and animals–on this, and the other side of the veil,
  • Knowing and seeing with “real eyes” that I am more than what you or I see. I am not my name, face, or any physical attributes. Thank God!

Honoring our Connections

My two adult children, and now my three amazing granddaughters are definitely my heart, and thrill me to the core to know and be with them, as I know so much more now about how our ancestors continue to live on in the DNA and bloodline these babies carry on–every relative of theirs continues to live on, physically through these girls, and also to the children they may have in the future. It makes my heart so full to think about it!

Of course, one of the best decisions I ever made in my life was to say yes, when my wonderfully  gracious, intelligent, and loving husband, Richard, proposed to me. Back then I didn’t want to be in a relationship and didn’t even believe in marriage anymore, my how times have changed! Now, I officiate weddings (as a Florida Notary Public), and it’s one of the work/play things that makes my heart soar! I love the whole idea of marrying people, bringing love birds and like-minds together with our LIMITLESS, Ever-Living, Filling-All-Space, Creator Source God as witness. OM

We care for our family and my friends – we reach out but do not suffocate – we’re here when they need us.

On religious / spiritual matters

I believe the Holy Ghost/Spirit of God is available to all of us. I never understood how people could believe God spoke once but never spoke again.

I believe the Bible, as translated correctly, is the inspired Word of God. I’ve known people in my life who must believe God is dead though because they do not believe He ever inspired anyone to ever write any other books. The logic of which, always escaped me.

Omniscience

I believe God is LIVING OMNIPRESENCE.

I believe there are many books, songs, art works, and more that are inspired by God, but I also believe that even if we read, memorized, fully understood them all, we’d still only have a glimpse into the LIMITLESS reality of God.

Since age 8, I have been a member of the RLDS faith (later renamed Community of Christ), but though I am affiliated, I no longer attend any one particular church (organized religion) because when I am talking and sharing with others about God and matters of the Heart and Spirit, that’s where “church” is.

Matthew 18:20 says, “For where there are two or three gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” That’s my church. That’s also when I feel what I call my, “God bumps”–yes, a very tangible tingling sensation in my body whenever I synch up with another on a deep or profound topic.

I believe we are each responsible for the care and feeding of our bodies in order to be in balance. We need to feed our mind and spirit, as well as our physical body. I have a lot of knowledge in the holistic and natural health area, but I’m always continuing to “do” what I know–integrating it all.

I believe our bodies can be healed by connecting with Spirit, acknowledging, and accepting the healing. If we fight, deny or resist, or in any way want to remain sick, we will. But to be ill in any way is not our purpose. We are called to be “whole”. Our purpose is to “be”. When I ask myself if these thoughts I have are true, yes, I believe they are absolutely true.

BEing Present

I challenge my thoughts everyday, so that I can weed out those thoughts that do not serve my (or others) best and highest purposes. I believe we all have the ability to “calm the waters” all around us, either by prayer, or action. We affect so much more than we know. And sometimes not throwing the pebble into the pond is the best action to take.

Be the person your Soul knows you are!

Namaste. OM

Check out this original song, It All Starts Within You. It’s one of my husband’s tunes – performed and recorded in Nashville, TN. You can download it (it’s Track 9) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordband2

And the newest original song is, Angels All Around You: http://richardmurrey.com/mp3s/angels%20all%20around%20you.mp3

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Walking more than a mile in another’s moccasins

Making judgments

My grandmother (of Cherokee Native American Indian descent) often said,

Never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.

And apparently, as a child, those words soaked into me and became my mantra. And I became an empath. Or perhaps, I was born an empath and her words resonated with me and validated my nature. Either way, in my experience, being empathic has been like living on both edges of a sword. 

Never judge. Until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins
Never judge. Until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins

I’ve realized my life’s path has had me walk more than a mile in my mom’s moccasins–and also in my dad’s shoes. And I’m tired. Yet, profoundly grateful I’ve had such a multitude of experiences to learn so much.

No matter how many times I’ve pondered the heartache, the gut-wrenching, soul-shaking, events of my childhood–that I’ve recreated (knowingly or not) in my adult life, with some incredibly outlandish desire to FIX–I eventually cane to a knowing that I can’t fix anyone else. And I’m glad I figured that out before I met my third husband! 

No one can fix anyone else.

Just like that old joke, 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb has to want to be changed.

Repeating patterns

Unfortunately, even my children picked up the yoke of this dastardly twisted need to fix others, as they’ve fallen into some of the same relationship woes as I. And fortunately, all of us are in healthy relationships presently! Thank Limitless God we’ve all awakened from the lure of this whole “fixing” trap!

So, why am I writing this piercing note in the middle of the night?

Because I promised my daughter, if I accomplish one thing on this planet while I’m alive this time around, it is to break the “lather, rinse, and repeat” cycle of fixing–for my granddaughters. And all of my writing (both online and in books) is to ultimately leave earth-bound knowledge for my grandchildren. Of course, if any of these words help others, that’s icing on the proverbial cake! 

You see, I never knew Divine LOVE, until I held my first granddaughter in my arms. She (Jennifer Ann), means more to me than I could describe.

What can I deduce from this new found comprehension of having walked all of these miles, in my mother’s, and yes, some in my father’s moccasins?

That life’s not been easy. But, it was never my job to work out their issues.

Tempted to complain

My “love of my life” husband and I picked up a saying this past year that goes,

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

And whenever I start to complain about something that doesn’t really belong to me–someone else’s drama–my hubby will pop that quote out to me. I love him so much for bringing things like that to my attention! He knows the empath in me often gets sucked into other’s drama, because I always feel that I can help ease their pain–somehow.

The Universe presented us with that very same phrase while we were enjoying our big outdoor annual Awakening Into The Sun festival! My friend Mary Ann, owner of Awakened Fibers had a handmade wall hanging with the words, “Not my circus, not my monkeys” embroidered on it! How fun!

Not my problem

And as if that wasn’t enough, a few minutes later while visiting with Dr. Alison J. Kay, her assistant, Brenda, told us a new phrase that fully resonated with me. It was, 

You’ve heard it said to get your ducks in a row? But, they were never your ducks.

My goodness! What if the stuff I had taken on (for years), all of those “other people’s problems”, were never my ducks? I never needed to get any “ducks” in a row to straighten out my parents issues. Who did I think I was to feel burdened to do that? Ugh! And now you see why I am tired. Tired of carrying the emotional baggage of others–it was never my stuff to carry!

On the upside, I’ve had a successful (nearly thirty year) career (out of the need to walk in my dad’s technical “know-how” shoes). And after wanting a pair of real honest-to-God moccasins for years, I finally got some, and I’ve been wearing them everyday.

Wearing moccasins daily, I feel every pebble under my feet as I walk. And I love that! I’m constantly mindful that each challenge in life is as the grain of sand that produces a pearl in an oyster!

My daily walks provide me with the benefit of grounding daily, and the knowing that the wearing of these moccasins, physically brings my grandmother’s saying directly into my body—making her words experiential—instead of it just hanging around in my head like some mystical cloud.

So, yes, there are always positives. I know this. Why does it have to take some of us so long to figure things out?

Oh, because we’re programmed as children. Culturally, socially, and if you were raised in a religious faith, you (and I) were programmed. I’m glad I figured that out!

Cut the cords

Now, energetically at least, I’ve cut the cord of all of this for my granddaughters. 

Here and now I state, my grandchildren will not have to take any historical family burdens upon themselves. They can be self-filled. Self-motivated. They can help others as they choose. Free spirits! They can care for themselves first, without guilt. They can choose to do what they love! They do not have to repeat the sins of their parents, or of mine. They do not need to try and figure anything out. The past is the past and it is abSOULutely done.

I have broken this chain of fools.