What do you do after?

What do you do after?

After a loved one passes away, transitions to the Grand Beyond, and has their Continuation Day?

How long do we mourn? What else is there to do?

Well, I grieved, yes. But fairly soon after my daddy died, an awareness came upon me. And of course I had that vision, so that soothed my mind and calmed my emotions.

Grief dollars
Grief dollars

Good grief

How can grief be good? Who the hell came up with that old adage? Ugh!

I have cried and cried, but at some point I realized, I couldn’t change anything.

So, why all the tears? What good was that doing? Okay, I was processing my emotions and letting them out. That’s helpful perhaps. I was cleansing my body by the act of crying. But why was I crying?

Guilt

I can’t change anything in the past.

I can’t spend anymore time with my parents (in the physical), or talk with them anymore.

So, because of that, because there is no more time to sit with my mom or dad, I feel guilty for not visiting them more, for not listening to them more, and for not taking more of their wise advice. I feel guilty for a lot of things.

However, as I allow those feelings to flow over and through my mind and body, washing my heart center, I realize those are simply my thoughts (my perceptions) of situations that occurred in the past. Past hurts were previously discussed (in many cases, YEARS ago) and lovingly forgiven, so there’s no practical need for my mind to rethink on those times now. I have learned that regret is simply an action of the mind. I don’t know if anyone really understands why the mind does that, but I think most people’s minds go through those gyrations.

Eternal Gratitude

As I sit NOW in this time and space, I feel utter and thorough GRATITUDE for ALL. Ahh, the Eternal Gratitude!

My beautiful parents gave me sooo many priceless gifts! They created ME! They gave me life, breath, and were my most important teachers! And as much as I love, speak and write about them, no amount of words can begin to describe the immense gratitude I FEEL. Ahh!!

I am so glad that both of my parents knew I loved them. Oh, how glad I am that we always told each other, “I love you” and “hugs & kisses” each time we talked!

Learning

We learn through the mistakes, miscommunications, fault-finding, pain, and more. And we learn humility. We learn grace. We learn that we can’t take anything with us when we transition from this life. And how many of us think that day will never come. But, it will.

Time

We count it and think we can keep it. We say our watches are time keeping.

For some, our Continuation Day will come too soon. For nearly everyone, it will come unexpectedly.

Time keeping
Time keeping

Shine

In every moment, are we exposing our best selves to each other? Are we a shining light?

Stones to Diamonds

Stones to Diamonds

What’s the difference between the diamond and the rock?

Pressure. ❤️🦋🌀

And the cutting. Look how the skillfully cut diamond SHINES!!!

From stones to diamonds, pressure over time makes the difference. Do we buckle and cry under pressure, or grow stronger emotionally?

In loving memory

Let’s enjoy (IN joy) each other. Let’s enjoy each moment.

No moments are wasted. All bring value.

Let’s talk. Laugh. Video conference. Take the road trip. And fly to new lands!

It is easier, and feels better, to release the grief and celebrate in Gratitude. Eternally.

Hugs and kisses!!

❤️🦋🌀🙏💋

UPDATE: Less than 24 hours after posting this, I received an email with words that eloquently summarize:

Skills for Awakening Skills for Awakening

Ah, I love this BIG WINK from the Universe today, from Ram Giri Braun (my first guru teacher, whose teachings continue to live on… thank you. Namaste. OM) ❤️🦋🌀

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, Angels All Around You. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio.

A BIT ABOUT ME:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be your most soul-Connected you.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

A surreal vision of soul-departing

Vision of a soul departing

At this time, I am ready to write about a nearly indescribable experience I had the morning after my dad passed away.

My dad passed away in his sleep the night of March 8th, 2019. The next morning when I got the call (from my son), my husband came home from work and we drove 2.5 hours to the property where my son and dad lived. My son, distraught from finding his papaw in that way, asked if my husband and I could stay the night, and of course, I had already decided we would (though we really had not had any presence of mind to take anything with us).

So, as the night wore on, I slept sporadically. At one point, I awoke and cried. As I was about to fall back asleep (about 5am), I had an incredible vision. I saw that my amazing father had been sleeping on the couch in his motorhome and about two feet of the wall, near the ceiling, had opened up and an immense golden light appeared. At the far edge of the golden light, similar to the golden sunlight the next photo captures, there was a distant outline of a city.

Photo credit: Long-time friend, Angela Brill
Golden sun. Photo credit: Angela Brill

Now, I’ve never been one to believe in heavenly streets paved with gold or anything, though the Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite movies, and there’s that scene in it of the shimmering green city of Oz. So, perhaps that was coming through my subconscious. But, the next part is what totally blew my mind!

When that golden light appeared, it took my daddy’s soul, instantly, up and out of the motorhome (through that opening in the wall) and my dad had no choice in the matter. His eyes and mouth were open. His soul departed his body out through his eyes and mouth. My son confirmed to me that dad’s eyes and mouth were open when he found him.

In the vision I was given a knowing that when my dad’s soul departed, he did not have thoughts of missing anyone here, what things he had left to do, what else he had planned to do–Nothing. It was that quick. His soul just left. Poof!

I took a moment to write the following, right after the vision, so I wouldn’t forget it. And so I could tell of it later. This is what I jotted down on my iPhone:

Eternal Love

I know my dad loved me more than I could ever know. I have grieved his passing mostly because I thought he was doing well. He’d not been sick. He looked fine. Not overweight. No beer belly. No diabetes, or any other chronic illness that I knew of. In other words, older, but the picture of health.

And I grieved because I hadn’t seen him since Jan. 6th, when I had visited to commemorate what would have been mom and dad’s 59th wedding anniversary. We lost my mom 21 months prior to dad’s passing.

Dad had called me a few days before he passed and made an “appointment” with me (his word, not mine) to visit on March 18th. Often he’d tell me he knew I was “busy, busy, busy.” Ugh!

Papa had stopped by our place unannounced the week prior, but as fate would have it, my job had called me out of town on short notice, and neither my husband nor I were home when he’d stopped by (and he never just popped in). It was just all salt to open wounds of grief.

I have read that in India, when someone dies with their eyes and mouth open, that it indicates the person did good deeds in this life. Oh, yes! I know this was the case with my dad. Though he’d made his share of mistakes (haven’t we all? I know I sure have!), he learned from them and lived the rest of his days as a beacon of what loyalty and love means.

Forever Home – A Calling

I took this next picture in our home state of West Virginia. It’s of the last property my daddy bought, and of the tree stump where dad used to sit and gaze upon the hills. My son had smoothed the seat after dad had told him he loved the view from there.

Oh, I wonder what dad thought about while he sat there. I have at least one voicemail also, where he’d mentioned this was where he was sitting when he called.

I am now realizing the road of life can be rough. But, when we love, and we know our dear ones loved us, we can consciously choose to smooth it out and know we have nothing to fear beyond The Veil.

We Are All Connected.

Even when we choose, like I have, to take the long way home, it is said that we shall meet again. My soul finds rest and comfort in that knowing. [Insert BIG ❤️ here]!

Every morning I look into my eyes and I see you there. And when I miss you, I kiss the palm of my hand because your blood runs through my veins and connects us still.

Hugs and kisses, papa and mama. Until we meet again.

To everyone: Be a blessing. Much love to you in ALL ways. Amen and Namaste. OM

Check out this original song (click the title to play it): The Connection. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. If you like it, you can download it (it’s Track 14) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordband2

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself



Eulogy for my amazing father, Nelson Williams

Eulogy for my amazing dad

The following are my most profound thoughts, love, memories, and knowing of my papa, Nelson Williams, who passed away during the early morning hours of March 8th, 2019.

It’s been 29 blog posts and 21 months since I wrote my eulogy for my beloved mother. And this is my 100th post on Take It Upon Yourself. It feels fitting to me also, in the grand scheme of things, because my dad was the most independent person I have ever known.

My papa wasn’t ill, so when he went to sleep and didn’t wake up the next day, we were all stunned and bewildered. We are still in a state of unbelief of his passing. However, I know dad missed mama everyday since her passing, so to think of them together again, is comforting. Now, they are reunited on the magnificent and grand other side of the veil.

113-mom-and-dad-in-golf-cart-at-flywheel-festiver-2012-or-2013

The early years

When my dad, Nelson (nicknamed, Old Hickory) was growing up, times were tough. He grew up on a large farm, but it was depression days and money was tight. You can gain a bit of insight from seeing this picture of dad (middle, tallest) here in the one room schoolhouse, where he attended school.

Dad at school as a boy

Nelson was one of six children. There were three girls and three boys. Dad was the second eldest son. I can only imagine, from the years I visited the farmhouse where dad was born and raised, how they lived. But dad told many good stories from his childhood and what it was like to grow up on the farm. And he loved the farm, having kept an acre or so of land there, even after his parents passed away.

School years Nelson

One of those stories involved dad’s mom bathing the kids outside on the porch in a big metal wash tub. The same one his mom would use to wash their clothes in with the washboard. I knew he grew up without indoor plumbing because as a child I witnessed dad and uncle Jack building a bathroom for my grandparents in their farm house. I also remember having to use the outhouse.

I’ll come back to this later, but dad always enjoyed the water. Swimming, boating, and so on, as evidenced by this swim card I found!

4H Red Cross swimmers card - Nelson

I haven’t found many pictures from dad’s youth, I’m thinking folks just didn’t take many back then, but here are a couple that must have meant a lot to dad, since he kept them.

Dad and friends at school

Dad and friend

Perhaps some of my family can enlighten us (in the comments) or with a phone call, and let me know who was in these pictures with my dad.

Dad played football for a time during his high school years, but after a rumble on the field or a tear inside one knee (depending upon who’s relaying the story), he quit and never played again. We never even watched football on TV.

Dad was also a member of the Future Farmers of America (FFA) and used to tell me stories about raising animals.

FFA card 1955 - Nelson

By the time my dad met mom, he owned his first car. He was so proud of it! 

Dads 1956 Ford

Mom loved to take photographs, and took these photos of dad at her parent’s home.

Dad July 1960

Dad at moms parents July 1960

Marriage

Dad and mom met at a drive-in restaurant. One of those curb-side service kind. As the story goes, dad spotted mom in her car (she’d went with a girlfriend of hers), receiving food on the tray. He walked up and asked her for a bite of her sandwich! Stunned, she told him he could buy his own.  Read mom’s eulogy for more.

BettyAnn and Nelson Wedding Day 1960 in her parent

BettyAnn and Nelson Wedding Day 01061960

Even at age 20, when I look at dad and mom in these photos, they look so young! I can only imagine how it was for them then, how happy they were and full of dreams.

BettyAnn and Nelson Wedding Day (3) 1960

They were married at mom’s parent’s home. See them holding hands?

BettyAnn and Nelson Wedding Day (2) 1960

Incredible know-how

One of the best things dad did, was make me! Well, obviously with help from mom. 

Daddy and Sheila at age 3 months

When I was a baby, we lived in a mobile home on a hillside. And more cars were to come and go. Dad had this white convertible top car for awhile (pictured first, at the farm where he’d grown up, and next, where we first lived). I actually found a vehicle registration card from 1957 for a ’49 Chevy.

Dads first car

First cars 1964

By the time I was 3, dad and mom had bought a house. I was sure “daddy’s girl.” Cars were such a big deal for us all. Dad would own several in his life, more than I can recall or count. Mom used to say that by the time I was 4 I could tell her the make and model of any driving by. That had to be something dad was teaching me. Papa loved to drive!

Dad also made me curious about electronics, which has served me well (since I’ve had a 30 year career in digital electronics and computer software). I think of dad often while problem solving (tear!).

When I find a picture of the Browning Golden Eagle and linear he used to have (or one like it), I’ll come back and post it. It was meaningful because as I would fall asleep at night, I’d hear the ping of dad’s mic as he communicated with the world via that CB radio. Mom would fuss at dad about that, but as the kid and always wanting to make peace, I somehow learned to “tune it out.” The linear would boost dad’s radio reception and he would often tell me the next day of how he had “talked skip” with people as far away as Japan! Plus, all that stuff about talking skip totally fascinated me!

Dad and Sheila at Alberdias 1966

And speaking of radio, dad also loved listening to music. In the 1960s, dad especially loved Kenny Rogers and the First Edition. Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In), was one of his favorite songs. Dad usually always had a little AM radio on, and gave me several when I was little. I remember waking up in the mornings to songs of the 60s. Papa was first to give me a radio. He even gave me a couple stuffed animal ones with the radio inside.

Being a Pappaw (and later, a great Grandpa)

Daddy was thrilled when my kiddos came long. First, my daughter, then my son. He loved them as his own. 

Dad feeding Marie with mom 1980

Dad mom and marie 1981

dad holding Matt with Marie playing Boaz Feb 83

Right from the start, my children called my dad, “Pappaw.”

Dad with Marie and Matt at Boaz house Jun 1983

Best pic of Dad with Marie and Matt in Boaz 1983

Dad with the kids out back in Boaz 1983

Dad even got to meet his first great granddaughter (when they came to visit us in Florida). Unfortunately, though I prodded him to do so, he never made it to New Hampshire to meet his twin granddaughters who were born 5 years after the first.

Visit dad first met his great granddaughter

Here are a couple of pictures of papa holding his great granddaughter.

Papa and Jennifer

Papa looking at his great granddaughter

Learning all the time

Dad knew a lot about many subjects. He was always learning. And always talking with people. Yes, a real social butterfly!

One subject I didn’t realize dad was so well-versed in was plants and trees. After mom passed away, my husband and I drove to WV to be with dad (my son also drove up the next day). Dad and I took a walk through the grounds of a KOA campground (behind the hotel where we all stayed) and he could point to any tree or such and tell me what it was. I was amazed and thrilled to hear such things!

It was no wonder that I called daddy, “Mountain Man” because he really knew a lot and could figure anything out. He was a tinkerer. A hands on and practical DIY kinda guy for sure. One could even call him a modern day survivalist or “prepper”, as he knew how to survive on next to nothing and through thick and thin.

Varied accomplishments

Here are some of my dad’s amazing accomplishments (without ever graduating from high school – and having a learning disability that caused him difficulty all through life with reading and spelling):

Dad went to Hollywood for a short time (at age 18) to pursue acting. He said one of his high school teachers had encouraged him to do so, after seeing his acting performance in a school play. But, dad didn’t like Hollywood. He would only give me the reason of, “They teach you how to lie.”

Papa moved 100 miles from his home to work at a bread factory. For years dad would go out of his way not to have to drive down 19th street where the Storck baking company factory was though, because he had grown such a dislike of the smell of bread baking.

At some point, and I didn’t know this until I found this card, dad was even on the radio as a new reporter!

dad radio reporter card

Dad sold electrolux vacuum cleaners door to door for a few years and seemed to enjoy it. We always had the best vacuum one could buy, though I thought that was because of my asthma and allergies. Years later, I realized it was because of what dad had learned about vacuuming. Also on that note, when I was a kid, papa kept all of our cars, boats, campers, and such meticulously clean.

On the advice of my uncle Bob and my grandfather (mom’s dad), dad got a job driving semi truck and became a member of the Teamsters union. Dad also learned how to repair the big truck engines as well. And papa was so proud of driving truck. Papa took me out in the truck a few times. I remember going into the Helms trucking terminal in Parkersburg to this day, the way the guys had to load the trucks and the paper logs they had to fill out.

People talk about having home-based businesses or side gigs nowadays, but my dad was the first I knew to run a side hustle from home when I was a kid. He ran a CB business – we used to go to “roundups” on Sundays (which is why I love the flea market type of environment)! I grew up hearing the ping of his Browning Golden Eagle running a linear too, which caused me to have to learn to “tune out” the noise in order to fall asleep at night.

After we moved from the mobile home, dad and mom bought a small buff brick house about 17 miles from mom’s parents. We lived in that house from the time I was 3 til I was 11 or so. A keen eye will observe the sign above the garage door about the 2-way radios. And you can see how tall our CB radio and TV antenna was in the back of the house. Yes, others had TV antenna’s, but you can see the difference between those and the CB radio antenna.

Dads VW Beetle

cars in the driveway 1972

Buff brick house July 1965

Here’s one of dad working on a motorcycle, with mom and I watching, along with our neighbor and friend, Greg Bruce (on his little Hot Wheels trike). 

Dad working on a trike mom and Sheila watching with Greg on hot wheels

Before we moved, I remember mom saying we should take a couple of pictures to remember our little house. Dad took one with mom and I in front of her white Thunderbird she loved, and then mom took one of dad and I.

Dad and I in front of moms white thunderbird about 1973 

Homebuilding

Dad and mom bought 6 and a half acres not far from that house. They’d only bought land though, and had to improve it before we could even put a temporary mobile home on it to live in. Because the land was highway frontage and unimproved, dad traded for a dozer and other heavy equipment to fill the low land part of it. He also had to put in a road, before he could even think about digging the hole for a basement. Dad’s repair know-how served him so well over the years, that it led to his interest in owning, repairing, and using heavy equipment. The following are a few examples:

drilled well on Boaz property 1973

Dads backhoe

Improving the Boaz property

Dad and Sheila working on old boat 1976

That land was where we all worked together to materialize my parents’ dream home–a huge multi-brown color brick & white Georgia marble stone home. (I was a teenager and could only do so much, but do remember helping to build the rafters for the roof, and carry lumber and supplies around.) It took my folks five years to complete the house, during which time we lived in a couple of different mobile homes on the front of the property.

Another construction pic of the house

Our house under construction

More of the house under construction

Dad in Boaz house Sept 1983

Dad laying stone on house

Dad laying the white Georgia marble stone on back of the house

Boaz house dad built 1983

Dad and mom both literally put their skin into building this house, which still stands today, though it looks a lot different since later owners covered the beautiful brick with siding. (Gasp!)

Dad on phone in Boaz house - Apr 1983

Dad had also acquired a 17 acre farm and horses, I know we had a pony while we lived in the first house, so I’m not exactly sure when the farm came into our possession, but they must not have thought it would be a good place to build their big home (in retrospect, it might have been the better move).

I recall cleaning out the barn, bailing hay, and riding with my dad. Those were truly father-daughter bonding times. One of my favorite memories was riding my Shetland pony named Betsy alongside my dad (he was riding our American Quarter horse mare named Sue), along the top of the ridge of our farm.

Factoid: Mom used to tell a story about the time country singer and legend, Mel Tillis was interested in buying that farm. Seems it was the highest elevation in our county!

Once the house was done, dad sold used cars on the side. For a few years, we always had different cars around.

Dad in his Triumph mid 1970s

Dad built an apartment building in Marietta and a house in Vienna in the Hickory Hills subdivision. The house dad built a few miles away from where we lived was what some people would call a spec house, and at one point, he wanted us all to move into it. Ugh, but I didn’t want to change schools. Another regret. 

Dad became a licensed single engine VFR aircraft pilot when I was in my teens. He loved to fly! When I had my daughter, he took her flying! I never had much interest in the Cessna.

Dads plane WV

Dad also bought and used a sawmill to build a log home on the 6 acre property. However, the economy took a tumble and people weren’t buying log homes and dad’s home building business failed. The business failure was devastating for my parents, but dad wouldn’t go down without a fight.

Dad took a couple of dump trucks to Florida, traded for some property (on which we would place a double-wide mobile home) and worked these dump trucks daily to scratch out a living. That move also enabled dad to make my dream of moving to Florida come true. The best example of “turning lemons into lemonade” I have ever seen!

When dad traded for the Florida property, which would become their home for nearly 40 years, I had came to Florida with him. Dad sat me down with a newspaper and asked me to look for a nice double-wide mobile home. I found one. It was cheap, but had to be moved. Dad did it all himself! I had thought he might kill himself trying to wench each of the two halves of the home together!

FL Double-wide moving it in 1984

FL Double-wide 1984

The Wheeler Dealer

Always the practical, mr. fix-it one, dad traded for many items, found discarded items, repaired and sold them for a profit. Dad retired from full-time, punch a time-clock work at age 40, which is nearly an unheard of thing for most.

After moving to Florida, dad was always finding items at the dump or at yard sales, fixing and reselling them. He loved to tinker! And then the stuff just kept piling up. 

Dad worked at McDonalds for a few months, maintainence and trash. I think he just wanted to get out of the house. He also worked for a concrete company driving truck for a year or so. He only quit due to the seat in the truck having broke and he received a neck injury from which, I do not believe he ever fully recovered.

Speaking of injuries received from accidents, dad was also once hit by a drunk driver in a corvette (dad was driving a Metro and his seat broke backwards upon impact). Mom and I both thought that accident could have killed him. And dad never swallowed right after that. The hit and run driver, (whom we later learned was an attorney) wrote dad an a sob story apology letter. Though I called several attorney’s and strongly suggested dad sue the guy (who had left the scene and the police had to catch him and bring him back), but no, dad wouldn’t go to court. The law still made the guy pay restitution, but it was small pittance to the open and shut million dollar lawsuit dad could have won had he only gone to court. 

Few vacations

Because dad and mom were both such hard workers, we hardly ever took a vacation. Most people wondered how mom and dad acquired so much in their lives, believe me, it was due to bone-grinding WORK. A solid work ethic like few I’ve seen in my life, I tell you.

Freda Dad Mom me and my cousins 1967

And a few trips to the beach, either Virginia Beach or Ocean City, Maryland. This was on the way to Virginia Beach, VA.

Dad and I on way to Virgina Beach first vacation 1968

Most of the times we took a vacation were when we drove to a family reunion, wedding, or somebody died.

Williams family when grandmother died 1976

Williams family 1979

Reunion Williams family 1995 or 1996

Only once did my folks fly a commercial jet to go to Washington state and Nevada to visit relatives. And I didn’t go. 

Mom and Dad in Las Vegas with April 1979

Loved the water

One of my favorite pictures of mom and dad had been taken of them while swimming in Veto lake. I asked dad not long ago, who took that picture? He replied, “Oh, there was always someone around willing to take a picture.” 

Mom and Dad at Veto Lake 1960

During one of our few beach vacations, I snapped this one of mom and dad, and it’s still one of my most favorite pictures.

Mom and dad at the beach about 1970

Though we didn’t take many vacations, but we did hang out at the river a lot while I was growing up, and a the lake near where dad grew up. As well, when mom and dad would watch my kids, they would take them boating. 

Dad in our Glastron boat at Sutton Lake with family

Dad mom and Marie and the Williamstown bridge 1984

Dad at the river Sept 82

Dad Marie and Matt boating in the pool

Dad in boat in the pool with Marie and Matt 1983

Holidays and more

One year (when I was a kid) mom was into wigs, and in this picture, she was wearing a blonde one. This was a memorable Christmas. I decided to add this happy moment when dad surprised mom with what I think was a $50 bill.

One of the interesting points for me while looking at this, is that I actually found the rock ashtray (while going through mom’s things after her passing) that’s on the table behind them. Another is that my husband and I bought the same La-Z-boy recliner chairs this last year for our RV (though we got the cloth versions). The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

Dad and mom Christmas maybe 1970

Later on, we tried to spend every Christmas together in Florida.

Dads great smile at Christmas 1988

Dad great smile at Christmas maybe 1992

I recall dad being surprised with any gifts that were bigger than a bread box, because he and mom often shopped at flea markets. 

Dad at Christmas Daytona Beach 1992

Dad opening VCR at Christmas 1992

Here’s dad and I with my daughter.

Marie Sheila and dad Christmas Daytona Beach 1992

And this is dad and mom with my daughter. We were always close.

Marie mom and dad Christmas Daytona Beach 1992

Matt Mom and Dad Christmas 2000

And then there was that time papa walked me down the aisle for the second time.

Dad walking me down the aisle at my second wedding 1991

Dad mom and me at my second wedding maybe 1991

Perhaps one of the best takeaways I have from my second marriage will forever be this grand picture I have of my parents. I know there is value in Everything.

Mom and dad at my second wedding in FL June 1991

Enjoying our visits

Here’s a couple pictures from one of the times my son and I met them at the Daytona Beach flea market.

Dad mom and Sheila Daytona Beach flea market 2000

Dad mom and Matt at Daytona flea market 2000

I think it was when my son and I had returned from Texas and they drove an hour to meet us. We would always do our best to meet somewhere for a visit, no matter how brief. It was always important for us to stay Connected.

Factoid: My folks always seemed to live a couple hours from wherever we were living in Florida, so a favorite meeting place for years (that was half way) was Titusville.

The following is a sampling of pictures we took during some of our visits:

Marie Mom Dad and Sheila April 2010

Dad and us one Thanksgiving

Matt Richard Sheila Mom and dad at Matts Oct 2012

mom and dad sheila richard and matt Oct 2012

Mom Sheila dad Richard and Matt Oct 2012

dad and sheila dec 2008

dad and marie dec 2008

As things go, many years later, we meet at the Daytona Beach flea market again, but this time, for mom and dad to get a quick visit with their granddaughter and great granddaughter.

Marie Jennifer Mom and Dad at Daytona Beach flea market 2012

Dad and mama got to spend a lot of quality time with my son in the last 10 years or so. More reasons to be thankful.

Dad and Matt maybe three years ago

Mom smiling at Matts Christmas Dec 2013

And I would visit when I could.

Dad Mom and Sheila

Nelson Sheila BettyAnn and Matt

The Caregiver

Dad eventually became a full-time caregiver for my mom, as she was memory impaired and what medical professionals call “a wanderer” for about the last 4 or 5 years of her life. Sadly, last 2 years of mom’s life, dad had to put her in adult diapers. He fed and  clothed her. In short, he did everything for her. She never wanted to go to a nursing home, and she never did.

Mom and Dad Christmas at Matts Dec 2013

Dad and I had our differences over the years, perhaps, most likely even, because I am stubborn and fiercely independent like him. Or for other reasons, yet still undiscovered. However, over the last ten years or so, I grew to hold immense respect for my papa. I watched him do the best he could as mom’s sole caregiver. And I witnessed his enduring love for mama. It really was profound. I will never really know how dad took care of mom. I always encouraged him to put her in a dementia day care center (at least during the half of the year they were in Florida), but he would ask me, “Will they give her back”? And honestly, though I told him they would, I didn’t know.

Because mom and dad were inseparable the last ten years or so, after mom passed, dad would tell me every time we talked, “I just miss her so much.” And I knew he did. When I would see dad, his eyes were bleary at the mention of mom’s name.

Unless you’ve lived it, there’s really no way to explain the futility of Alzheimer’s disease on a person, or on their caregiver. Bless my mother’s heart! And bless my dad’s heart! Dad always told me, and my kids, “Just do the best you can.” I believe he did his best for mama too. 

Mom and dad at Matts in Melbourne 2015

Actually, dad did have some experience with caregiving, as the reason he and my uncle Jack built an indoor bathroom for his mom was because she’d suffered a stroke. This was one of the times dad had mom bleach his hair blonde before a get-together with his mom, sister, and more.

Dad with his mother Gela and girls

60 years together

Mom and dad met in 1959. And as the story of their meeting goes, mom was with a girlfriend and dad was with his buddy, Dick Kight. Dad saw mom at a drive-in burger place. When the girls’ food arrived, dad asked mom for a bite of her sandwich. She told him he should buy his own, but being the kind soul, also gave him a bite. Dad retold this story many times as well, especially reminding me that he’d been with his best friend (synchronistically, Dick later moved to St. Petersburg, Florida and was killed while installing a CB radio antenna.)  In order to find out mom’s name, he had to meet her at church on Sunday.

Dad and mom 2001

mom dad and beau dec 2008

After mom passed away, June 8, 2017, dad told me he wanted to be with mom forever. He also asked my thoughts on our family church and baptism. And he surprised me the morning after mom’s memorial service, stating that he wanted mom’s brother to baptize him.

Obviously, though dad hardly ever attended church with mom and I over the years, her influence from their first meeting at church, until her death, made quite the impression on him. After mom passed, dad asked my uncle (her brother) to baptize him. And so the circle is complete.

 

Dad’s unexpected passing

I know what people say. When a couple’s been together many years and one goes, the other will often follow within a year. But, dad had been doing good! Yes, I realize that he was depressed. Yet, I thought that was the grief process. I know every time he spoke to me about mom, he’d tell me, “I miss her so much.” And that was hard to hear, because I knew he was sincere.

We took the following pictures in West Virginia (after mom passed). Mostly I wanted to get the bear in the photos because dad’s father used to do taxidermy. Plus, the Black bear is a symbol for the state of West Virginia. Even a day after mom passed, I was trying to cheer dad, albeit in whatever small way I could. Dad really didn’t want me to take pictures, but he’d just gotten some new teeth and wanted to see what they’d look like. You can see however, he wasn’t smiling. But I wanted some pictures of dad and my son, and dad and I with the bear too because I didn’t think I’d be back that way for many years.

Note about dad’s beard: Dad was always reinventing his look, dark hair, blonde hair, silver or white hair, long hair, short hair, or he’d shave his head. And he’d gone for years without a beard (as mom never liked it), but as her memory started to go, he’d began wearing a beard.

dad-with-the-bear-jun-2017-1

Dad and Matt with the bear at Days Inn June 2017

Dad and Sheila with the bear June 2017

The next photos are of dad in Florida.

Dad and Matt Fellsmere 2012

My son had quit his job and moved to the same property with dad in south Florida, to help dad organize and sell some things. And while it came as a bit of a surprise, they got an offer on the property (where mom and dad had lived for nearly 40 years), on dad’s birthday in 2018. Dad called me and asked me, “What do you think”? And I said, “I think it’s a sign from mama that the offer has come in on your birthday.” Maybe that was all he needed to hear, but he agreed to the sale. Of course, he had second thoughts later, especially when it actually came time to move. He looked back on a lot of things about that time though, and wondered if it wasn’t too late to sue some people. (And my parents never sued anyone in their life, so I knew dad was doing a lot of thinking.)

Dad sitting Fellsmere 2012

The move (from south to north Florida) went pretty good, I think. And thankfully, my son was able to help dad through it all. 

Dad and Matt in Fellsmere

I’d just visited dad and my son in January at the new property to celebrate what would have been mom and dad’s 59th wedding anniversary, and pre-celebrate my birthday. Dad gave me a 4-way lug wrench. Mostly because he wanted me to put it under the front seat of our car as a weapon in case anyone attacked me. That’s how dad’s think I guess, no matter their age.

My son and his girlfriend spent the last day with dad. Matt and dad had gone to bring back a boat from south to north Florida. The picture of dad and Matt was taken a few years ago.

Dad and Matt in the boat dad moved the day he passed

These are the last pictures of dad with my son, and also of dad with his beloved dog, Annie.

dad and matt last pic together

Dad and Annie

Back to the bear

When my son and I went back to WV a day after dad passed (to tie up loose ends), and I walked back into the same hotel where we’d stayed 21 months prior, I lost it when I saw the bear. 

As I grieve the loss of my dad (in the physical), I find that I could never really know him. And this knowing takes me back to two of my favorite series, Six Feet Under and Dexter. As Scott Buck, a writer on both series often made a foundational point of saying, “We never really know a person.”
I like to compare our personalities to facets inside a kaleidoscope or disco ball. We reflect what we see or imagine others to be.

Dads haircut 2009

During the last 21 months dad would make comments to me about how people in the far past had told untrue stories about him. I suppose that could be true. Even the unpleasant things I remember from my youth, I acknowledge now, were all filtered through the pain of my mother, and my child-eyes. It would take me most of my adult life to understand even a fraction of what they lived through. How could I really? I wasn’t born and raised in their era, with next to nothing. I struggled in my 20s and 30s, yes. But they struggled even more, literally working their fingers to the bone to achieve their American Dream.

Mom Dad Sheila at Canaan Family Reunion 2001

I feel guilty about what I’m about to say now, but as it became ever more clear that mom was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, I once looked at dad and said, “You are paying for the sins of your past.” And he looked shocked and sad. In that deeply connected moment, I felt his pain and disbelief. And in the next moment, I vowed to myself never to utter anything like that to him again.

Dad and mom portrait at age 30

While I don’t discount my memories of past hurts, I realized it was not my place to judge my dad (or really, anyone). And it certainly doesn’t matter now, as all that remains in my heart and mind for my dad is LOVE.
❤️🦋🌀

Turn to the Heart

Turn to the Heart

Turn to the Heart and dive deep into its sweet waters.
Become drunk with the sweetness you find there and nowhere else.

Turn to the HeartTurn to the Heart


Why crave about a million thoughts that won’t enrich you,
when the treasure of all treasures is right inside you?
Why run after knowledge, when the fruit of all knowledge is ripe and ready to pick in your Heart?

You have searched, since the beginning of time, for the reason of your existence.
By endlessly seeking you have forgotten how to find.
Now let go of the childish games of the mind and open to the source that is calling to you from before time!    

Why travel a thorny path when a soft road lies at your feet?
That road leads to the source of love in your Heart.
Here God awaits you with the food you have longed for;
here the bliss of your existence flows like a never-ending stream of delight.

Why are you still thirsty? Bow down to love.
Empty your pockets of rods and fill them with the emeralds from the riverbed.
See the light pours into you from the Heart and from you into the world.

You are rich beyond understanding.
Why do you still behave like a beggar?
Fill yourself from the source and empty yourself into the world.
You will find that your fullness will never end.

~ Ramgiri

© HeartSourcing, Ramgiri Braun, Ph.D. | June, 2018
#onlyloveisreal #heartsourcing

Love,
Ramgiri & the HeartSourcing® Team

The above is republished with permission.

Much love to you in ALL ways.

❤️🦋🌀

It’s ANCIENT and Expansive, not NEW AGE

It’s ANCIENT and Expansive, not NEW AGE

My path, my journey, isn’t NEW AGE. My path is an ancient and expansive one, as deep and vast as the Universe itself.

Not new age
Not new age

Besides, NEW AGE is just a label. A way of dividing us.

My friend, Dr. Alison J. Kay sent me (and her subscribers) a beautiful email today explaining it like this,

My path is not “New Age” In fact, it is quite ANCIENT.

There are SO many erroneous portrayals out there now that the enlightenment path, known today as “Awakening” during humanity’s Spiritual Awakening occurring 2012-2032, has coupled with the marketplace.

Social media memes, you tube videos, even our much beloved – and my fellow – New Thought leaders – still focus on information only, which is in the exact opposite direction of the openings required, after a certain point.

https://www.alisonjkay.com

… subscribe to Dr. Alison’s email on her website to read more.

Eternal thanks to Dr. Alison for her timely and resonate email, which sparked me to write this post! XOXOXO

Awakening

Are you Awakening? Are you open to experiencing expansive shifts in your life? You can! It’s possible! Free your mind from the whisper of limitations. Feel for the powerful energy that’s available to us ALL!

  • Work with an aWEsOMe teacher, like Dr. Alison, Sadhguru, Pedram Shojai, Jeff Primack, Dr. Joe Dispenza, or Lama Nicholas Packard, to make massive shifts
  • Put in the consistent discipline required, via meditation, practicing Qigong, yoga, eating high vibrational foods, and so on
  • Know thyself; every thought a prayer, every action in alignment and integrated

It all hinges on one’s ability to know oneself. Put aside your ego mind (in each moment before DOING anything), sit or stand still and KNOW (feel for it) that you are ONE with Omniscience, and that the Universe really does have your back. Always loving you. You’ll know and feel it when you ALIGN with your Soul. With your Purpose. With your power. With Omniscience.

You will walk in integrity as it comes from a deeply embedded place of truth. Truth that resonates from your Soul, that’s pulsating from Omniscience.

Who are we?

Each of us are a fractal of Divine Omniscience! Together an exquisite, ever-changing, brilliant, and powerful kaleidoscope!

An invitation

Come out and play with us, March 2nd and 3rd, 2019 at Awakening Into The Sun in grand downtown St. Petersburg, Florida! Let’s discuss the amazing AWAKENING that’s occurring. It’s a dance, a conversation, a celebration of the expanding positive world we ALL can create–together!

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

For fun

Check out this original song, Dogma. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 1) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself



7th annual Awakening Into The Sun FREE health and wellness festival in St. Petersburg, Florida

7th annual Awakening Into The Sun FREE yoga, music, and arts outdoor festival is March 2nd and 3rd, 2019

This will be our best and grandest festival yet! The festival’s 7th year is sure to be the one FREE health and wellness events that will be talked about all year long, so don’t miss it!

http://AwakeningIntoTheSun.org

Over the last six years, the Awakening Into The Sun festival has been the muse to many an artist. Artists who inspire prosperous and expansive consciousness in the world. We learn, grow, and LOVE! Learn about our mission to water your seeds of greatness and help you awaken to your authentic purpose.

We’re going to have free yoga classes, free live music (and folks, these are some of the best around!), health educators, art classes*, and health sessions* such as: crystal bowls, sound therapy, massage, acupuncture and more. As well as, healthy food, pets, art, and lots of sights and sounds to behold.

*Note: Fees will be charged for art classes and certain health sessions.

And there will be lots of vendors (previous years included about 90), of which you can meet and greet, ask questions, sample products, and bring home the items best suited for you and your loved ones.

If you have a marriage license and desire to be wed at the festival, come to the band area–I’m the emcee for the event both days and a Florida licensed notary public and LOVE to marry couples in love! Imagine the blessings you’ll receive from getting married at this holistic event!

For those who have attended in years past, the musical performers you know and love will be joining us again: Duo Vida, Billy Mays III / Infinite Third, Jordyn Zentz, and Eluv (on Saturday); We will also enjoy the luxurious sounds of Lindy Romez & Sol Y Mar, and Latin Rendezvous (on Sunday); Samadhi new to the event this year, will also perform on Sunday. Let’s all of us give our aWEsOMe performers a sunny Florida welcome! I am super excited to see them all again and meet Samadhi!

Then on Sunday about 4pm, we’ll begin gathering for the closing ceremonies, which will be highlighted by the largest drum circle in Florida! Bring your drum, bring your rattles and Tingsha cymbals (I’ll have mine!), and prepare to experience an aWEsOMe awakening, heart-expanding, and soul-connecting time!

For all of the information be sure to visit the official festival website: Awakening Into the Sun

Your soul-aligned friend in Connection.

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, Dogma. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 1) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

The Veil

Beyond the veil

Everyone knows the material world where we exist, as we experience it via our five senses: Sight, Sound, Touch, Taste, and Smell.

But not all of us have the ability to access all five senses. Not everyone an see or hear as well as another. Some of us are very sensitive in one or more ways. And fewer can access a sixth sense.

Of those who have the ability to perceive a sixth sense, how does that work?

Most cultures and religions teach that the sixth sense is an awareness of what’s beyond the veil.

The veil

When I met my unborn sister, Christina, in the ethereal realm (which I call the Grand Beyond), she first appeared to me as a little blue dot (read about that here).

Christina’s blue was a brilliant indigo cobalt hue, one that I hadn’t seen before, at least not one that I had paid much attention to before. Blue was my mother’s favorite color, but it wasn’t mine.

10 Things Unseen Mood Indigo10 Things Unseen Mood Indigo

Nevertheless, blue, especially indigo cobalt are my favorite shades now, due to the spiritual connection I have with them, and with Christina. 💙🦋🌀

Christina gave me a glimpse beyond the veil that separates the living from those who exist on a different plane, or dimension–the Grand Beyond.

Why does the veil exist?

It seems only logical that the veil exists as a temporary boundary to keep those on the physical side focused on what’s going on in the material world.

Perhaps the veil offers us protection from the Sacred things we are scared of.

Some aspect of ourselves does not want to know what lies beneath or beyond.

I know people who won’t meditate because they are scared of what they might find. While practiced meditators look forward to the stillness that descends without worry or attachment.

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/on-needing-to-find-something-to-worry-about/

Our Soul is always attached

From what I have learned and experienced, our Soul is always connected to the Grand Beyond. And if we want to peek behind the veil, if we have that desire, it’s possible, though for many it takes some dedication. That’s because most of us only believe we are our body. Plus, one must slip out of the Ego mind.

Like a woven tapestry, the lines that connect us ALL intersect. If we are not ready to accept this knowing, if our mental capacity (think electrical capacitors, but biological ones within our brain) is not quite ready, we might literally blow a fuse!

For some (who are already fairly spiritual), practicing deep breathing or silent meditation is all that is needed for access.

Others can work with a hypnotherapist to be guided into a deeply relaxed state. Or some may find that space during a massage, or while practicing yoga or qigong.

If words or sounds bother you, stillness may be all you need. If you have not mastered your mind yet, to let go of attachments, you may need a structured approach.

My review of the book, Soul Explorer.

❤️🦋🌀

Gaining access

Access to the ethereal realms can be found in many ways. Some follow rules to open their Akashic records. Some meditate and chant. Some know their access beyond the veil is only a focused breath away.

I believe authentic intention with focused attention on the letting go of the Ego is all that is required. This allows you to sort of go into a fuzzy or haze-like space, and then, you are there.

What’s next?

Ask your questions.

Sit.

Wait for your answers.

When you feel complete, express that and offer your thanks.

Breathe in and out Gratitude for this Connected experience.

Ground and center yourself in the material NOW before going about physical tasks.

Namaste. OM

Check out this original song, Can’t Feel the Love. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 4) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb5

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Spirituality is for ALL

Omniscience

The reason I write and speak so much about Omniscience is because that word, instead of God, transcends ALL. Omniscience transcends boundaries. Omniscience overlays all other belief systems. Omniscience allows.

There is a Grace to Omniscience, Omnipresence.

Omniscience transcends ALL
Omniscience transcends ALL

Labels

If one is a Christian, you know Omniscience.

If one is Jewish, you know Omniscience.

If one is Muslim, you know Omniscience.

If one is Pagan, you know Omniscience.

No matter what other label you are, you know Omniscience. You know the Energy that transcends ALL.

Places

There is no need for church, temple, synagogue, mosque, or other external structure. You don’t need to go anywhere to BE with Omniscience.

Omniscience is with you wherever you are.

Acceptance

Omniscience meets you in whatever condition you are in. Sad, lonely, depressed, in despair, or on the verge of cRaZy.

Omniscience cares for you, loves you, adores you, and finds you worthy.

One can label God and think of God as a personage, but as soon as you make this distinction, the opportunity is open for opposition and disagreement. If you want to find a way to agree and connect in Unity, it’s easier to go general and adopt the highest view of Source.

Spirituality

You are a fractal of Omniscience. And Omniscience envelopes you. Omniscience is in, through, and all around you. And you are important. You are not merely dust in the wind.

Spirituality, or BEing spiritual, is knowing Omniscience IS.

Connection

Kiss your hand. Feel the Energy of your body. Feel the essence of life.

Prayer seeks Omniscience to listen. Mindfulness, meditation, and flowing in a soul-connected way to create something are ways you can listen to Omniscience. Be available for that communication.

We Are All Connected.

Your soul-aligned friend in Connection.

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, Dogma. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 1) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Name calling

Where’s the love?

Obviously, not everyone can agree with everything or everyone. We may not like everyone. It seems that’s human nature.

We think different. We act different. We look and smell different. That doesn’t make us stupid, bad, or wrong.

The next time you are tempted to call someone dumb, illiterate, or crazy, take a moment and breathe.

Do you even know the meaning of the negative names you’re calling someone?

One of my family members is functionally illiterate, which is different than being illiterate. He was a slow reader all through school and couldn’t spell very well. He can read well enough to get by, holding good paying blue collar jobs his whole life and running businesses.

No one should call someone illiterate who has an extremely high IQ, runs billion dollar companies, and holds the highest political office in the country. A person can be intelligent, yet prefer not to be intellectual. Also, the mass number of Americans speak on a 4th grade level. When a politician (or other authority) uses doublespeak or legalize, the majority simply cannot relate.

What you resist persists

Will we get mad at certain things or people? Probably. Everyone does from time to time. But to live a wholly vibrant and fulfilling life, self control (starting with mastering your thoughts and emotions), is your work. Let others be.

Consider these quotes of Neville Goddard:

Do not dwell on the imperfection of yourself or others. To do so, is to impress the subconscious with these limitations.

What you do not want done unto you, do not feel that it is done to you or another.

Every feeling makes a subconscious impression.

The dominant of two feelings is the one expressed.

Self control

Look at yourself. Are you perfect? And what is perfection about anyway? As I’ve written about before, expand your mind to find perfection in the imperfection. Life’s an art more than it is a science.

If you really feel stuck and can’t move beyond the low vibrational name calling, I suggest doing The Work, beginning with The Four Questions with Byron Katie: http://thework.com/en/do-work

Byron Katie quoteByron Katie quote

 

From doing The Work years ago, I ascertained that for most it’s nearly impossible (and not our job) to absolutely know some particular thing is true. I learned to watch and feel for how I feel in my body when I believe certain things are true (vs. how much better I feel when I let go of my judgment about whatever it is and move on to better feeling thoughts).

Again I ask, where’s the love?

Where’s the love?
Where’s the love?

Think about the times you wanted something and didn’t know exactly how to go about it.

It takes breaking a few eggs to make an omelette.

Only the pressure of gravity over time can create diamonds in the rubble. We’d waste our lives waiting for it to happen, wouldn’t we?

Directional

Allow and share LOVE in all directions, north, east, south, west, above, below, forward, and behind. Unseen and seen. Past, present, and future. Indeed, in ALL directions for the benefit of ALL.

Conditional

By its very definition, Love is unconditional. You can’t say, “I love you” and then get mad when your loved one does something you do not like. That would mean you only like that person when they meet your conditions.

You don’t know what’s best for everyone. Nor do you or I know everything. Honestly, none of us will ever know Everything.

Love everywhere

For about a year my daily routine had been to bow my head with hands together while turning and thanking each of the four directions, north, east, south, and west for all gifts and knowledge received.

One day, I realized that I had been missing something.

Now, I put my hands together and stand in silent Gratitude for ALL, above, below, in front of, behind, unseen, and seen. For those who have lived, and for those who will live. 

Sending love

The gratitude and love I feel and send is unconditional. I must send it to those I disagree with, as much or more than to those I agree with, otherwise I am not growing or expanding my consciousness.

So, stop the name calling. It only reverberates back to you. And then you may be the one with egg on your face.

Namaste. OM

Original music

Check out this original song, I Know Stuff. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 13) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordband2

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Lessons from mom

While my son and I helped dad pack things up, after my dad was mentally and emotionally able to sell the property and mobile home in south Florida where we’d first landed after relocating in 1985 from West Virginia, I found several things that answered some questions I’d had for many years.

Diary pages

Along with several diary pages that mom had written in the 1960s and 1970s, I found an unsigned letter to her that made me question which is more important taking advice from family or from friends.

The statement in the letter that got me was, “I’m disappointed in you that you feel that your friends understand you better than your family (and me).”

Old typed letter
Old typed letter

Who wrote it?

I have an idea of who the letter is from, but I am not sure. It was typed, single spaced on one sheet of paper.

As of this moment, it doesn’t matter to me who wrote the letter.

I will say that it ended on what I would consider to be a positive note, though still preachy.

“Don’t continually think about what is in your past. Let’s live for the future.”

Now, as for me, “I’ve had my share of sad kicks in my face, but I have come through” (to quote from one of my favorite Queen songs, We Are The Champions).

I haven’t cried much in the last year since mom passed, mostly because I still communicate with her in subtle ways, and I am keenly aware of her continuation in my life by occurring synchronicities.

Yet, today, I cried.

I had meditated and upon coming out of meditation, I was filled with emotion. I cried and spoke the following aloud:

Family reflect who we were; friends reflect who we are. 

Family reflect who we once were, or who we were in the past. But, our friends reflect who we are now, who we’ve become, and how much we’ve grown (or not). That’s why we sometimes tend to love our friends more than our family. Yet, some of us (like me), who are very blessed, have family we are also friends with and who we want to spend eternity with. Time limits us, but thankfully (Thank you, God), that eternity is not limited.

Here’s something that’s true for most of us. We’re stuck in a box, or bottle. Even if its clear.

The box or bottle I’m referring to? The fences (rules) of religion—even when religion supposedly isn’t involved.

From a dream

Dream: Mom was reminding me about all the notations she had made in her Bible about “No gossip”, and “not to gossip.”

And that’s because all learning must be Experiential learning—coming from direct experience, which is also why Jesus said let thy speech be yay or nay. He knew that we can never really know the truth of another.

Someone may try to warn you of another. But we all experience each other differently because who we are in any given moment, elicits something different from the person. Many times we’ve experienced this. It’s the situation when one divorced person marries another and they get along gloriously. The “bad” partner may get along with another just fine.

Each of us experience life differently. We just can never fully know someone. People lie. People pretend.

I think most of us want to put our best self forward—but, for most this involves wearing a kind of mask. Call it the mask of pretense. It’s the face of kindness, compassion, peace, or love, while inside ourselves we feel anger, resentment, sadness, jealousy, or regret.

Thank you.

I miss you mama. Thank you. Thank you for teaching me everything I needed to know (when you could barely talk anymore), by looking in my eyes and placing your hand on the side of my face. And for always living in utter GRATITUDE the last years of your life (though your surroundings were not as you once would have wanted). You came to a place of not knowing or of acceptance, it doesn’t matter which, because you were grateful. You became Grace.

I only cry because I never got to tell you how much I got that lesson, how deeply I learned that last lesson from you. I continue forward, with understanding.

Nothing really matters, or everything matters. Each of us get to choose. Who do you love?

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

UPDATE: I found the rest of the letter, and it was NOT from whom I had thought! And the rest of it brought the earlier statements into balance with love and grace, so I have learned another lesson. I continue to feel Gratitude. Tears! 😭

UPDATE 7-Jun-2019: As I was washing the Lifetime brand (which really do last a lifetime) of pots and pans (that dad gave me years ago), it hit me why mom always LOVED to clean house–it put her in a meditative state! Ah! Yes, my aha moment today. And it brought tears to my eyes. OM

After that, I was looking through pictures of a book I’d bought my granddaughter last year (yes, I save things like that), and it highlighted my new found awareness:

CREDIT: Buddha Doodles, by Molly Hahn
CREDIT: Buddha Doodles, by Molly Hahn

 

A bit about me:

Check out this original song, Didn’t I Tell You. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 6) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb2

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

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