The truth lies somewhere in between

Truth lies somewhere in between

Arguing and bickering

Some people seem to thrive on arguing. I’m thinking in particular of lawyers, couples in tumultuous relationships, and those who always stir up or fuel discord on Facebook (and other social media).

My dad would often tell my mom to, “Change the subject.” And then he would change it!

I don’t think dad really ever liked arguing with my mom, though they constantly bickered. And all of that lead to my awareness that, “The truth lies somewhere in between.” And “It takes two to fight.”

Yet, it took me decades to learn that one of the two in an argument simply needs to STOP FIGHTING (in essence, release the resistance), to end the argument.

Yes, though my parents loved each other passionately, their love was not unconditional. Through watching them, I learned all about conditional love. So, how could I know what true love was?

Observations of parts

I observed, during a Bible class I participated in a few years ago, that some attendees argued more about specifics, like healthcare and sexism as related to Trump. I had to keep pulling people up to the macro general level and why we were there.

I seemed to only see the downside to love growing up in a dysfunctional family. I never thought anyone got it right. And then later, when I fell in love (or what I thought was love), I perpetuated the toxic cycle.

Truth lies somewhere in between

Which part am I?

  • I am not my body
  • I am not my mind
  • I am more than the sum total of my collective experience

I can list my likes and attributes, but you may still have a better idea of who I am, than I will ever have.

As my adult children and I have recounted stories from their youth, they certainly saw a different side of me than I self witnessed. The same must be true of how I viewed my parents volatile relationship.

Examining my characteristics

  • I am honest
  • I am sensitive
  • I am empathic; sometimes intuitive
  • I love deeply
  • I am resilient
  • I have fought tough relationship battles that might have wrecked others
  • I am a loyal friend (and keeper of secrets)
  • I allow my feelings to be hurt (and sometimes become resentful, until I become fully aware that I allowed my feelings to be hurt).
  • I hold stuff in (I say it is to “protect” others and spare them from having to observe it or get involved—but is that really true?)
  • I have been a codependent (but does one ever really heal from codependency?)

I don’t want to hold stuff inside, but anytime I get mad or speak my mind it pisses other people off.

I struggle with people pleasing. Or people not listening to me. I never saw my mom get too far when she argued with dad or others, so I decided early to forgo the arguments. Or so I thought! Both my first and second husbands argued with me. Ugh. And my children were witnesses to so much of that—and I hate that!

Learning from the lessons

Whenever I am emotionally triggered, I read this:

I never like to be disrespected, bullied, or have my intelligence questioned, or be treated less than I am! But I know I’m not always right. As well, others, no matter how well or how long they have known me, don’t know all of my thoughts, wishes, or desires, and that I strive to always respect others and show kindness if nothing else. I know many people are hurting, sad, mad, over or under medicated, or are hungry for love. And I realize no one knows Everything—not yet.

❤️🦋🌀🙏😉

What to do?

  • I am too analytical to blindly follow
  • I am independent
  • I am curious and always seeking
  • I can focus on the positives

I have some clairsentience and clairaudience abilities, though not tuned specifically to aid others. Perhaps I will offer these senses and abilities more of my time.

Fight to feel better

…When you feel bad nothing works. You labor to get out of bed. You stub your toe on a table that has never moved and you’ve known for years where it is. You lose your car keys, glasses, or phone. Walk around with a big old frown on your face and you know it drives people away from you. You’re fighting with yourself about something. Let go of whatever you’re resisting and your day will improve.

From my book, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life!

Be as water

I love the water (but looking at it, or walking along the shore more than swimming in it–though I love to float!)

Water doesn’t fight with itself. Or does it?

Water rages. Water flows. Water falls. Water is still.

I will EXPLORE more ways to be like water!

Yes!

I will find my own balance.

I will find my own level.

I will start by reminding myself that the truth lies somewhere in between. I will not judge by what I see in the mirror, but simply point out the many facets of truth, per the mirror disco ball.

As Scott Buck, a writer on both Six Feet Under and Dexter series dramas often made a foundational point of saying, “We never really know a person.”

I like to compare our personalities to facets inside a kaleidoscope or disco ball. We reflect what we see or imagine others to be.
❤️🦋🌀

A bit about us:

My husband is an award-winning illustrator, plus he is a seasoned guitarist, bass player, and songwriter (of over 400 original songs). You can view some of his artwork and listen to all of his songs on http://RichardMurrey.com or check out his latest 24 songs here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC53E21F-JlTW2iQmPcEIWkQ

I’m an Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon. Plus, I’ve written a new book (in the making for 13 years), Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, that’s now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format). Buy it here.

As well, you can hire us to promote your book, band, business, or services here: https://www.facebook.com/MurreyMakers-103294764612382/

Be the best version of who you want to be and let us promote you!

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Be as water. Seek your own level.

Be as water. Seek your own level.

I am an independent person (and critical thinker) who beat co-dependency. I have learned that I cannot control anyone else, nor do I need to. I only ever need to manage my own Energy.

I have figured out a way to find balance and eternal Gratitude in ALL. There really is value in Everything.

Be as receptive as I / we / you can be. There’s no need to push against anything!

I sense that everything in life comes down to Balance. And that can be achieved. It is doable. Fix everything—no. But feel better, feel good more of the time—yes. Help yourself. Help others. Love. Smile.

Be as water. Seek your own level.

Be one who predominantly appreciates and loves.

If someone says or does something that upsets you, it’s okay if you don’t know or say the right thing “in the moment.” After all, you don’t have a staff of writers at your beck and call. And nobody’s perfect.

Just breathe and take a moment to ground and recenter yourself. Take a moment to feel freedom and peace within and outside of yourSelf. Balance.

In my experience, people either speak from their ego or their programming most of the time. It’s rare to talk with someone soul to soul, and priceless when you do! ❤️🦋🌀

My mission and mantra

I’ve read again my previous articles here and here and redefine my mission as follows:

In every moment, while BEing my deep, authentic self, acknowledging and integrating Source Energy (Spirit) in ALL I do, I release Ego and judgmental thoughts and hold true to my “GodBumps,” (as my physical guide, to remember “to thine own temple be true”), I will seek to awaken, and connect independent souls to their limitless talents and potential. I will empower them to shine their brilliance no matter what challenges come their way. ❤️🦋🌀🙏☀️🌱

On feeling the need for Protection

No protection required.

What is “Protection” about anyway?

It acknowledges (and often promotes) that there is anything or something “out there” to fear. And I want to “fear not.” I believe in a friendly universe. And Omniscience has my back anyway.❤️🦋🌀🙏😉☀️🌱🎼

On feeling down

Whenever I am feeling low, or in a down state, I reach for “a better feeling thought”, typically one of the enveloping Omniscience that exists in and through ALL (that immediately dissolves BS, whether it be from others, or of my own making), or that Everything Resolves to Gratitude. Then I say aloud, Thank You. I see it all as the Universe bringing ALL back into Balance. Lessons learned and healed. ❤️🦋🌀😘

Present moment

Why live in the present moment?

  • To feel freer
  • Audaciously awaken
  • Fully engage my authenticity
  • Function from a positive or neutral place
  • Open to new awareness
  • Balance any imbalances
  • Embrace limitless possibilities
  • Empower mySelf and others
  • Love and nurture my independence
  • Be open to receive MORE out of life
  • Worry less
  • Fear less
  • Notice ALL of the abundance around
  • Focus on the far-reaching effects
  • Release old programming
  • Ease out of old unwanted habits
  • Connect MORE
  • Commune deeply
  • Communicate with MORE clarity

Our minds tend to get convoluted and play tricks on us. Sometimes referred to as the “monkey mind”, our individual minds often skew our reality according to the “old tapes” (phrases) that play over and over in our heads, fears, conditioning, past traumas, invalid prejudices, opinions that belong to others—not our own, beliefs that no longer serve our highest and best version of ourselves.

When you are aware your mind is filtering your reality based on the past, you can change it with that awareness. In fact, awareness is the change.

I never understood “worry.” I’m too independent and determined for that. ❤️🦋🌀

COVID-19

I thought you couldn’t believe in things you can’t see? This virus has expanded your thoughts about the unseen things, hasn’t it? Now, do you understand the phrase, We Are All Connected?

So much love… to you, through, and around you…I feel it too (though not as severe as you experienced yesterday, but who knows. Maybe my time is coming. And now, thanks to you, I will know more). So, for me, it is all the other changes we’ve been going through, plus when I go to the store, I see many empty sections: no eggs, less vitamins, no rubbing alcohol (wanted for bug bites, not for hand sanitizer recipe), etc. I had to really force my conscious mind to notice the fresh produce, and canned goods, water, and so forth. It is all so weird. I am quite a mix of energies at the moment.❤️🦋🌀

On death

I feel into this and it aligns and resonates for me. After losing (in the physical), both of my parents in the last couple years, and having beautiful visions from both of what they experienced during/after their souls departed, I no longer see death as any kind of end. I’ve never feared death, though I used to cry a suffer through grief when anyone close to me died-especially pets. But, after seeing all I have seen, some of which is on my blog, I do not grieve anymore.
All we need to do is love and keep our intentions pure, always helpful, always kind. Because in the end, Everything Resolves to Gratitude.
Amen and Namaste. OM ❤️🦋🌀🙏

Mirror neurons and Soul-connections

I learned long ago that we cannot change another person. The habits they have and their personal characteristics are held deep within themselves—they may hide certain habits to win you over too. But, what they showed, that attracted you to them. For example, in the beginning of the relationship if they cursed a lot, you thought it was funny or cute. Ten years later, when your significant other curses, it annoys you. Really, that is your issue. You’ve changed. They haven’t.

After a year of dating, another year of cohabitating, and then five years of marriage, my mirror neurons synchronized with my husband’s mirror neurons. It took a job loss, our two doggies getting older and slowing down, and my proving to him that we couldn’t pay for our house (that at the time we had 25 years left on our mortgage), to get him to come around to the idea of full-time RV living. But, two weeks after we had moved into our 5th wheel—and I am NOT KIDDING—he sat across the living room from me and said, “I love this! We own this? Why didn’t you MAKE me do this YEARS ago?” Hahahaha
I about fell out of my chair!!! I don’t MAKE him, or anyone, DO anything!❤️🦋🌀🌱🤩😉

From the sacred texts

“We can escape this world by giving up attack (negative / social conditioning) thoughts.”

—A Course in Miracles.

“Be in the world, not of it.” —Holy Bible.

“Ye are of this world. I am not of this world.” —Quron

Daoist thought has been interpreted within the Dao De Jing (and Zhuangzi) to reject, or become unattached to ones body and the material world.

And we find the Hindu words that seem to point out a need to find receptivity or be alert to:

“…that which is not of this world.” —Veda

Amen, brother. Awomen, sister. We know our LIMITLESS, Ever-Living, Filling-ALL-Space, Creator, Source, Omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent, God!!! Namaste. OM ❤️🦋🌀

Put your hands together when you meditate and pray. (It connects the circuits.) 🙏

Soul Connections

I LOVE talking with others about deep topics, God, Spirit, visions, dreams… ❤️🦋🌀

I connect with so many people and on such a wide range of topics, that I am never lonely. I feel we all have the ability to connect on a soul level.

I am passionate about connecting you (We Are All Connected) to NON-TOXIC, “It can’t hurt you” foods (like raw vegan foods), health products and holistic methods that I personally use (see this and this) because they truly work—they nourish us—and my knowing (from a deep spiritual place) is that we’re all okay in our well-being.

We are—each of us—wholly well WHEN we remind each other, which is why there’s not only one of us here on the planet! We are each a fractal of Omniscience and bright shining as the sun. ❤️🦋🌀🙏☯️🍀🌹

Loneliness

What’s the difference between being Alone and being Lonely?
I always knew there was a reason I loved that old song, “Love the one you’re with.”
I’ve learned not to put anyone on a pedestal. Actually, I have had to learn that more than a few times.
And as others here have said, family isn’t always defined by blood.
Spending time with and being present with those you love is the best gift any of us can give/receive. And if you don’t have anyone, go find someone new. After all, there are 7 billion people on the planet. No one needs to be alone.
Oh, and loneliness is not a lack of people, but a lack of purpose.
And all of that wisdom cost me a lot more than two cents!❤️🦋🌀🎄🎁💫

A bit about us:

My husband is an award-winning illustrator, plus he is a seasoned guitarist, bass player, and songwriter (of over 400 original songs). You can view some of his artwork and listen to all of his songs on http://RichardMurrey.com or check out his latest 24 songs here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC53E21F-JlTW2iQmPcEIWkQ

I’m an Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon. Plus, I’ve written a new book (in the making for 13 years), Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, that’s now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format). Buy it here.

As well, you can hire us to promote your book, band, business, or services here: https://www.facebook.com/MurreyMakers-103294764612382/

Be the best version of who you want to be and let us promote you!

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

How I am like Trump

How I am like Trump

This is not a political post. This is a psychological inquiry into mySelf and human nature.

WARNING! You may not like this post of self examination because it may challenge your own personal beliefs or biases. So, only the strongest of will, most open-minded, and highly mature persons are allowed. Hahahaha! Not really. But sometimes I feel like those are the only people reading my blog! (I love you ALL! ❤️🦋🌀)

The list

I am like Trump because I feel an urge to speak my mind, publicly. This has been true of me since I was a teenager and started talking to anyone and everyone on my dad’s CB radio! 🔈🎤

I am like Trump because I love looking at the whole enchilada, or big picture of a situation (and of life). And it’s freakin’ HUGE! (By the way, I love using the word “huge” and don’t want to stop using it. I know at any given point, we are only seeing and experiencing a small segment of life (that which we ourselves are living), but beyond my own personal space, I see a huge world! A ginormous world full of abundance and unlimited possibilities for ALL. ❤️🌀

We are only ever seeing part of the picture.

I am like Trump because I think I could be a good leader. (Emphasis on “think.”) I would rather lead than follow. And true leaders, learn from their mistakes. 🧐💭

I am like Trump because while I dislike criticism (who doesn’t?), I can tolerate it, learn from it, and on my better days, use it to empower mySelf. A lot of my best ideas have been born from changing my perspective. One of my mantras is: Thank you for helping me make a better choice. And it was birthed after working for someone who irritated me—DAILY! ❤️🤪

I am like Trump because I often follow my feelings, especially about medical stuff (duh, my book, which offers advice to others), and how I take care of my own health. I don’t wait for double blind, placebo controlled studies—I Am The Placebo. Nod to Dr. Joe Dispenza. ❤️😉

Oneness. It’s not just loving what we like.

I am like Trump because I like to use Twitter. It is a cultural phenomenon! (Actually, that could be said about all social media.) I write like I speak also. Mostly, my brain isn’t fully engaged until my mouth starts moving! Hahahaha! Yes, that gets me into trouble at times. But, you hear my honest answer, even if you don’t like it. I am not a politician! 🤯🤣 I love how Twitter helps keep me from overthinking (as I am obviously doing now), while coaxing me to write concisely and in the moment—though I don’t tweet very often, I have a strong urge to tweet. 🐦😉

I am like Trump because I am not always right, but I am always considering my next move—often 3 steps ahead. (A good chess player, though I don’t play chess.) 😉🤯

I am like Trump because I am a strategic thinker, or critical thinker. And at this point you may be thinking critically of me! Hahahaha! Why does the Billy Joel song, “You May Be Right” ring in my ears as I write this?!? 🎼🙃

I am like Trump because I value a solid work ethic, and highly promote personal liberties, assuming proper guidance (learn and earn). ✍️💵

I am like Trump because I value education. I value street smarts as much as higher education (as I have learned from both). I taught my children (and those under my watch), not to touch the hot stove. (I recognize controls and rules are not necessarily a bad thing, and are good until a level of maturation, independence, and critical thinking is achieved. 🕰💡

So, you see, I can write a short blog article! Hahahaha! 🤣😂🤣

I may not have a lot in common with President Trump, but my dad thought a lot of him (as my dad was a wheeler dealer and thrived on the art of a deal), and so do millions of Americans. ❤️🇺🇸

Thus, I thought it might be wise of me to analyze (and note), where I align with our president—in particular, before criticizing him for his tweets or decisions. And as you know, I really dislike labels, name-calling, and such.

This was the inspiration for my process and write this article:

My dads RC “trainer” – check out the name: Apprentice

FYI:

Oh, and I almost forgot…

I am like Trump because I wrote a book! Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life!

As my husband often says, “He who tooteth not his own horn, the same shall not be tooted”!

As always, I hope I have inspired you to find a better feeling thought! Please comment and let me know. Much love and many blessings to you and yours.

Amen. Awomen. Namaste. OM ❤️🦋🌀

A bit about us:

My husband is an award-winning illustrator, plus he is a seasoned guitarist, bass player, and songwriter (of over 400 original songs). You can view some of his artwork and listen to all of his songs on http://RichardMurrey.com or check out his latest 24 songs here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC53E21F-JlTW2iQmPcEIWkQ

I’m an Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon. Plus, I’ve written a new book (in the making for 13 years), Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, that’s now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format). Buy it here.

As well, you can hire us to promote your book, band, business, or services here: https://www.facebook.com/MurreyMakers-103294764612382/

Be the best version of who you want to be and let us promote you!

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Fasting again… more insights and synchronicities

Hello friends and tribe,

As I have written previously, in the “We Are All Connected” article, “In my experience, if your heart is pointed in the direction of LOVE you emanate a vibration, sending ripples of unconditional love and compassion outward, which allow you to be a blessing to others. You will help yourself and lift others.”

I have also spoken about frequency, vibration, and energy as it pertains to the tone of our voice. As we communicate our words to each other, our tone sets off and gives to all, the intention of our hearts. Our tone actually communicates MORE than the words we are speaking! It may be one reason why some of us prefer to learn from hearing people speak, vs. reading, though I am certainly grateful that a good many of us read!

Now that my doggie is going deaf, I have noticed that he still responds to my voice and I think that is because my tone sends a vibration to him, that while he cannot hear the way he used to, he still knows the vibration of ME (and what I’m requesting of him).

Imagine throwing an object into water. You see the ripple effect from the pressure disturbance. In physics, one name for this effect, is the Huygen’s principle.

Huygen’s principle theorizes a “qualitative explanation of linear and spherical wave propagation” but does not answer the question of why waves are not circular (irregularities are maintained ) when an irregular shaped object is thrown into water.

What has that got to do with fasting, insights and synchronicities?

As you know, when you fast (abstain from solid food) the body uses the time it normally would to digest food to take care of a lot of other processes instead. For me, it always sharpens my mental abilities, opening me to new insights.

I am prone to using the time I would otherwise be thinking of what I want to eat, shopping (well, my husband does most of the shopping actually), preparing food, etc. to using the freed up time to read, exercise (even walking Beau more), watch YouTube videos, pray, clean, engage with others, think, and write.

Yes, while it’s my nature to analyze and over-think, this occurs on an even deeper level when I am fasting and though synchronicities abound, I am more aware of them.

So, I’ve looked back on some of my tweets (I love Twitter because I can note these deep thoughts in the moment) on days I’ve fasted (or when I’ve just came off a fast). In the moment, I’ve tagged these deep thoughts with #Love, #God, or #Peace. The particular thoughts that just seem to drop into my mind, are the ones I specifically tagged #God, or even ended with “- God” as if to sign them from God (as some church billboards have done).

Looking back on that, I see that Love, God, and Peace are all attributes of the energy and vibration that makes up All-That-Is, All One, the Ever-Living, Filling-ALL-Space, LIMITLESS Creator that vibrationally, connects us all.

  • You ARE only seeing PART of the picture – ever. God.
  • All tone of voice comes from the intention we are flowing, transmitting from our hearts. We literally pulse vibration outward!
  • Most people have had God’s unconditional love, conditioned right out of them.
  • We are each a leaf on God’s tree (Gaia), each with our own unique perspective.
  • Displaying confidence is really just YOU, your real unlimited self!
  • Because I am a “being“, I am always worthy, because I am always . Always on my way. Always accepting.
  • When you with the ones you think the of, the world is yours!
  • When what you believe in hurts other people rather than helps, it’s not about , it’s about you.
  • When my tasks are aligned with my , I am going with the flow and feel great! When I am tired after work, I was in resistance.
  • If you can your enemies, man everything else comes !
  • There is nothing static in this world. Everything , revolves, shrinks, or grows. That’s life!
  • Its simple really. Instead of “God made us in God’s image”, we see and make God to be like us, in our image. (Which is what causes us the most problems.) God is Energy, in All. 
  • Why were we made in God’s image? To reflect God in all we be, do, and have!
  • Be as water, flow on and all. Seek your own level (balance). Water is not good or bad, water just IS.
  • WE are to God upon each other, as water reflects the sky.
  • Whenever I bad, sad, mad, etc. it is always because my perspective differs from God’s POV which, is ALL WAYS

If your in a quandary about something, the best you can do in the moment may be to stop and do nothing (but keep breathing). Then, as you begin to start again, say yes only to the things that come your way that feel lighter (vs. heavier) feeling for the guiding bodily sensations before making a particular choice. Many call that listening to their “gut feeling.” I call these familiar sensations, my “God bumps”, and they are my validation that I’m heading the right way – and perhaps also confirming, so are you.

My way, may not be, your way. Many paths – one destination.

Don’t ignore your inner guidance – it exists for a reason.cropped-cropped-takeituponyourself-small-logo2.jpgIf you want to experience greater vitality, health, and prosperity, choose thoughts that move you to FEEL good. That’s about as simple as it gets and even a child can understand.

Please check out my books, other blog titles here — thank you.

In the name of our Limitless, Ever-Living, Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Pulsating, Be-ing, Creator Source God who IS the Energy that holds the Universe together. Beyond what we can see. Beyond what we now know. Faith IS the substance of things not yet seen.

In ALL ways, BE a blessing.

Amen and Namaste.

Limiting Beliefs

What are your “limiting beliefs”?

Limiting beliefs are thoughts you keep thinking, that probably sneak out in your speaking, that are your perceived limitations, and they limit you from moving forward in at least one area of life.

Limited perspective

After a year of working on my limiting beliefs – the ones I had already admitted to myself – I happened to hear myself say, “Nobody listens to me” while discussing something with a coworker. Aha! I’d just caught a limiting belief!

Nobody listens to me
Nobody listens to me

It’s something I say over and over again, and think even more! It IS a limiting belief and it’s not true! People do listen to me, even if they don’t – in the moment – express the hearing of my message, or acknowledge that what I’m saying may prompt them to action, or change.

I stopped right in the middle of the conversation and explained to my coworker that I had to jot down my “aha moment.”

BEing still

Meditation has helped me become aware of my thoughts. Listening to myself, I can barely have a conversation anymore without really hearing what I say! Am I communicating my highest intention?

Aha moments are vitally important. I am always learning (from my own words) and love these type of profound teachable moments, which add serenity to my life!

I am an empath, so I must always be observant of my thoughts to know whether I’m taking on someone else’s stuff, or whether indeed, my thoughts and feelings are my own.

Now I know that anytime I start to go down the thought path of “nobody listens to me”, I can change it to “everybody listens to me”, or “everybody hears me”.

I’ll try that and see how other things change in my life. Now that’s a limiting belief worth sharing.

A bit about me:

Check out this original song, Didn’t I Tell You. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 6) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb2

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

How to climb the ladder, or get the job you really want!

Climbing the career ladder

My friends have asked me many times, “How did you get that job”? I’ve told them some of these things, but maybe not all, so I am beginning a list (I’ll update it) of all my ladder climbing tips.

Also, how can you “play by the rules“, if you don’t know what the rules are?

Like me, you may have read other articles on this topic that have offered “x number of ways to get the job you want” or some other similar titles.

Most already know we must:

  • Know about the job (understand what the new job may entail)
  • Prepare a winning keyword-friendly resume (to get it by the automatic resume robots)
  • Rehearse and visual yourself doing great at the interview (when you get one)

The interview:

  • Dress appropriately and professionally for the interview
  • Ask intelligent and open-ended questions (you also want to interview your potential new boss)
  • Do NOT ask personal questions
  • Do NOT ask about office politics, vacation accrual, or salary
  • If you have notes, or a laptop – open them up and be ready to refer to them or show samples of your work (if asked or if you feel stumped with a question)
  • Smile and show enthusiasm for the role (people hire people they like)

But I’m not going to talk about those old, and well worn topics because you should already know those (if not, google those to find out more).

Teamwork and Integrity matters
Teamwork and Integrity matters

Here are my tips:

  • Always be on time to work at your current job. If there is a valid reason, state it succinctly. No one wants to hear excuses.
  • If you are going to be late, call, text, and email your boss. Don’t rely on one method of communication to relay this very important information. If you know you are the type of person who is often late or out of office be sure to discuss this with your supervisor up front and determine how he / she would like to be notified.
  • Not showing up for work is a sign of disrespect and people will never respect you, if you display disrespect. I have worked with people who have been fired for not coming in to work.
  • Be on time for meetings. No manager wants to wait around for you to begin his / her meeting. It’s also disrespectful and disruptive to the group when you arrive late to a meeting, especially a weekly meeting, or one that has been pre-arranged and on your calendar.
  • Do critically acclaimed outstanding work at your current job. If you’re the only one at your position then you already know why this tip is key. Build a strong relationship with your boss, and their management (whenever possible). If you work on a team, read the next section about teamwork and why it matters.
  • Always be in learning mode – be the first to know as much as you can about the new software the company is rolling out.
  • Raise your hand – be first to volunteer for special projects, lead a new team, or take the project no one else wants. Many people do not want to speak up or raise their hand first, so if you do, your supervisor will LOVE it! Brownie points? Yes, absolutely! Why not? Don’t listen to any lazy or uncaring people if they tell you otherwise. They aren’t feeding / housing your family! There will come a day when your superior will give you a glowing recommendation or promotion, and that’s your goal (it’s why you’re reading this) right?
  • Always happily accept direction from your boss with a gleam in your eye! Believe it or not, many managers dislike having to “tell you what to do” so, when they come to you with a request, listen attentively, take notes if you need to, ask for clarification if needed, or prioritization if you’re already swamped, but always be eager for something else to do!
  • Work at an accurate reasonable speed – employers understand that you cannot work safely or with quality at break-neck speed, but when something has been designated a high priority you should definitely move with a sense of urgency to complete the task to your best ability.

Why teamwork matters

Back when I was in college, it really irritated me when one or more people on my project team would slack – not do their fair share of the project work. I’d step up and do more because of my super responsible nature so we could get a high grade. I learned early on the true value of teamwork and team-building.

At work when a team forms, I have experienced team dynamics that follow the “forming, storming, norming, and performing” model credited to Bruce Tuckman in 1965. You can visit wikipedia or buy books about it.

First, the boss may assign several disparate people a goal to complete a project. A team forms, but because you don’t know each other, you encounter a period of ice-breaking and posturing. You may not have a choice over who participates on the team.

The more the team comes together to get the project underway, the group will storm – meaning some people will want to lead, cause conflict, be negative, point out potential issues, or demand respect that has yet to be earned. Arguments and miscommunication occur during the storming phase. Members will pick sides. One or more may decide it’s okay to slack. The boss may need to step back in during the storming phase. When they don’t, it can take the team much longer to get their “ducks in a row” (so to speak).

When the energy of the team evens out and any or all bickering subsides, the team will be in the normal phase and stuff will flow easier. The ebb and flow of cooperation will be experienced by all of the teammates. Communication will improve between all members. Team members may even become friends. The boss doesn’t have to step in much because he / she can direct one team member to effectively communicate the request to the team and trust the team will receive the information and act on it appropriately.

When the work is evenly distributed and stuff is getting done in a timely fashion, the team will be in the performing mode. You feel it when you’re in a good rhythm and mutual respect and admiration is occurring. It’s exciting! A performing team is unstoppable! Results will be achieved and the team will exude confidence and pride in their accomplishments.

Unfortunately, some people never quite get the whole teamwork attitude though. You’ll need to have a lot of patience as long as these folks remain on your team. It would benefit everyone on the team, and within the company as well, if they’d learn how much teamwork matters.

When team members support each other, they’ll often graciously provide references to individuals within the group when the time comes for one or more folks to move on to leadership roles within the organization, or to a position with another institution or company. A job reference is the ultimate professional compliment! You’ll need three references for your next job and recruiters only want recent references, not someone you did an outstanding job for five or more years ago.