Moving from BEing unnerved to experiencing Love

Unnerved

I was completely unnerved!

As a highly sensitive person (HSP) I wanted to stay with my friend at an outdoor cafe and enjoy our visit, but a roaring motorcycle went by and the noise overwhelmed me!

I lost touch with the truth of who I am. I got rattled. I almost picked up my stuff and left, as I was quite literally… BESIDE MYSELF!

Beside myself
Beside myself

A fuller version of the story:

I had arrived 10 minutes early to Ionie’s cafe in Sarasota, Florida on a beautiful Saturday afternoon (Jan. 17th, 2015)– a week after my birthday.

A dear friend and I had previously agreed (earlier that same day) to meet at 1pm there and though she is usually early, she wasn’t on this particular day. I don’t state this to judge, only to establish a precursor to my story.

The last time we had met there, we sat outside and I was prepared to sit outside, but when I arrived I noticed that both outdoor deck tables were full so, I proceeded inside to find a table. It was a fairly busy time there.

My friend arrived a few minutes after 1 (I did not note the exact time because I had been relaxing, listening to the peaceful music and drinking a beet juice drink and water).

As she arrived, we said hello and hugged briefly and she asked if we could sit outside. I told her the tables were full and she said, she’d seen an empty one on the way in (possibly so, things change of course). I said “There wasn’t one available when I came in”, and that I preferred to stay inside (I don’t know why, perhaps because I’d become comfortable). Having none of that however, my friend went back outside to hold the table and asked our server, if we could move my things out there.

I gave in (another precursor) and just as I sat down outside a VERY loud motorcycle went by and I proclaimed that it was the reason I did not want to sit there. She said, “We sat out here the last time”, and I should have said, “Yes, and I didn’t like it” and “since we sat outside before, let’s try inside today.” After all, I had invited her to join me – as I had been there several times by myself. But, I didn’t. I allowed myself to be manipulated, after all, I love change and am flexible to the desire of others (many times to my detriment though)!

Lessons learned

At any rate, the point of this writing this now is my logical attempt to put words around the experience of the FEELING that overtook me. When that motorcycle went by, I felt as though I was going to come OUT of my skin!! My entire nervous system shook. My hands and legs trembled. I went back inside of the cafe to reclaim the previous table with thoughts in my mind of leaving. But I wanted to preserve the friendship and felt if I reacted in a dramatic way, I might rock the boat. As well, I have written book chapters about “Connections” and “Being open to receive” so I opted within my mind to find a way to overcome my reaction, noting to mySelf in that moment that I may be overreacting.

How it ended

My friend had came back in and tried to reassure me that they had another table out to the side of the building (not on the street) where we could move the chairs from the other outdoor deck table in order to sit in a quieter spot. Thus, compromising (or giving in), we sat under a tree by the parking lot. It was a bit easier on my senses.

I awkwardly explained to her that I needed to calm myself. I sat utterly quiet. I repositioned my chair, made my body comfortable, and breathed for about the count of ten.

After settling in to the new outdoor spot, the conversation we had over the course of 2 hours, was very beautiful, engaging, and I even expressed to her how I was learning to handle events like what had just happened. I had felt my central nervous system was burned out, as I worked in another town (at that time) and had to wear headphones most everyday because of the city and office noise.

An emergency vehicle went by at one point and I expressed (in a bit easier way this time) that this also disturbed me. It mostly aggravated me (I put my fingers in my ears while the siren was sounded) because when they turned off the siren, I took my fingers out of my ears, then they immediately sounded the siren again! Ugh!! I rhetorically asked, “Why can’t they just leave it on until they get to wherever it is they’re going”?

When it was time to leave, we exchanged a hug and my friend genuinely thanked me for sitting outside. And in that moment I knew we would not have had our lovely visit if I had left earlier when I was mad over the initial irritation.

What I learned from this experience

Allowing this moment to be as it is and just be aware of it;

I must always reach for the best feeling thought and comfort myself;

Just breathe;

Touch an acupressure point or focus on one and breathe;

I may not always express or articulate my pain or displeasure appropriately, but I can at least let the person know that I need a few moments to center myself.

Later on that day, I recognized my emotional balance and growth. And that at no point in this experience, which I called an “assault on my senses” did I cry! Even just a year or so prior, I may have cried during, or after the experience, or when I would later recount the story to my husband. Hmmm… change is GOOD!

The next day I found this beautiful interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ9UtuWfs3U

The lotus grow out of mud – you cannot grow a lotus on marble but in mud.

Suffering is mud to grow the flower of understanding and Love.

  • Meditate in every moment
  • Live in the here and now
  • Recite a mantra or not
  • The more people you sit with, the better for collective energy

I offer you the following FOUR mantras you can meditate with:

1) “Darling, I’m here for you”

How can you love if you aren’t there? You are not preoccupied with the past or future.

2) “Darling, I know you are there”

Use this to recognize the existence of the other person.

when your beloved one suffers use the third mantra:

3) “Darling, I know you suffer that is why I am here for you”

Simply your presence can give someone a lift.

Lastly, when you suffer and you believe your suffering has been caused by your beloved one – use the fourth mantra:

4) “Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best to practice Love, please help me.”

❤️🦋🌀

It seems simple.

This is also quite a beautiful lesson:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KopmSpe33Eg

On a deeper level, what really happened?

I learned that I am my perceptions. I learned what the true nature of “I” is.

Listening.

Perceiving.

Observing.

With Attention.

The real me is the “I” that is underneath all of the circumstances of my life.

In the moment of non-thinking is Attention.

Timeless, untouched by time. I before it becomes this or that. Just “I”.

My first guru of the Eastern arts and teacher, Ram Giri Braun, taught me this wonderful mantra in 2008:

“I am loving awareness.”

He said this is not for the mind, this is from Ram Dass. It is not meant to make sense. It’s about feeling something. Get in touch with YOU. Get in touch with the lovable YOU that’s inside of you.

Ram Giri taught me Open Attention and HeartSourcing.

You can learn about that too, here.

On Jan. 31st, 2015 I took a class at Suncoast Jin Shin Jyutsu with Michelle Giambra in Sarasota, FL. At the beginning of the class Michelle stated that, “Synchronicities abound.” And then another lady in the class said, “We love the synchronicities that abound here”! Beautiful!

Note: The first four letters in Michelle’s last name are, “G-I-A-M” like the online TV channel I love GIAM, that later changed their name to GAIA: https://www.gaia.com )

I learned there are ways to hold my body that will calm me, ease tension, and anxiety! Break-throughs!!

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, No Permanent Damage. It’s one of my husband’s tunes – performed and recorded in Nashville, TN. You can download it (it’s Track 4) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb15

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Why are you upset?

Upset

Why are you upset?

Well, as a highly sensitive person (HSP) and empath, I just learned today that, “You are only upset about someone else’s disturbance when you CONNECT with the negative Energy of their experience”! ❤️🦋🌀

It seems simple.

It seems I have heard something like that before. Or that at my age, I should have known that. Hmmm. I will meditate on that statement (sit with it) for a few days, and then update this post.

Would you like to share what you think this statement means?

You are only upset about someone else’s disturbance when you CONNECT with the negative Energy of their experience.

Choice

I know why I’m upset if someone does or says something TO me, and I know it’s my choice as to how I react. Some people laugh stuff off, but not me. I take stuff seriously. Ugh!

I know it’s my choice about how I react to external situations, but sometimes the emotions overwhelm me to the point that my logic doesn’t work. I use EFT to calm myself during those times, but I would prefer to feel less upset, especially when whatever the situation is has NOTHING to do with me!

Always a choice
Always a choice

Until today, I couldn’t figure out was why I let other people’s negative experiences bother me. When someone is sad or hurting, I empathize.

What happened today?

I listened to Alania Starhawk’s lunchtime Facebook Live message and the statement in bold above just dropped into my mind!

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, For my sanity. It’s one of my favorite tunes and I’ve sang it on occasion. My artist / guitarist / bassist husband wrote it and had it recorded in Nashville, TN. You can download it (it’s Track 6) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb25

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

 

Got Problems? Opposites Attract

Law of Attraction

Why does it seem that opposites attract? Takers take too much from givers. Givers give too much and become drained, or sick. Energy vampires SUCK!

Dear one, oh sweet empath — they are drawn to you for your light.
For the healing energy of the light.
Just allow them to come.
Allow them to heal.
They will only take the frequencies they need.
They cannot take too much.
They cannot take your higher vibrations because they are not ready for them – they are not a match – no parity.
Keep refilling yourself from the light.
You will be gifted with higher frequencies as you see not what is seemingly being taken from you.
As they cannot take from you, that which you do not have. And you have a never ending, unceasing Limitless supply!

Remember some are larger magnets

Why does it seem that opposites attract? Doesn’t like attract like?
The Universe conspires to order. To balance the energies.
Perhaps it is the strength of the energies that matter?
Example of alignment opposites attract.png
WARNING — You may not want to hear this! — WARNING
In everyday scenarios we explain it thusly —
The narcissist is drawn to the empath’s light. Like a moth to the flame.
Allow them to receive the light from you that no other will give to them.
THEY actually know the truth. The truth about dualism and illusion that you fail to see. It’s all about them!
But you are hurt because you do not know that it’s also all about you!
So, you stay in your hurt place, stagnant and seemingly disconnected.
That is YOUR choice.
But separation is illusion. Even if you can’t realize it yet, We Are All Connected.
Yin and Yang.
We are here to achieve balance.
This is why you, my dear and loving hearts, always attract the assholes, liars, thieves, energy vampires, wacky, crazy, bitchy, mean-spirited, which all boil down to the fact that these people are HURTING / suffering. And here they are at your door, looking to you to heal them, help them, make them whole.
Yet, you choose to turn away.
You can.
It’s okay.
But you’ll continue to get more of the same, until you clean up your vibrations.

The point

Oh! Dear ones, you are missing a very big point.
You attract your like kind too, so that you can recharge. But is it not better to come directly to the Limitless, Ever-Living, Filling-All-Space, Creator, Source Energy — the ONE?
Hurt people aren’t of the frequency match to come to Creator.
You are their “step-up”! Perhaps you’ve heard of Jacob’s ladder?
Step up.
Step up.
Know that all of your hurt is needless. It only separates.
Know that all of your frustration is pointless. It only leads to ill health, pain, suffering.
And pain begets pain.

Focus

All you need focus on is what unifies.
All you need focus on is what uplifts.
All you need focus on is what builds.
All you need focus on is LOVE. Unconditional LOVE.
We told you this in the Be-attitudes and other ancient books.

Just BE

Be still and know.
Love for ALL.
Limitless LOVE.
Love can never die. Love has always has been. And always will be.
You can transmute all disparate energies with LOVE.
Be still and know.
Omnipresence.
Omnipotence.
Omniscient.
Omni-everything.
Yes! OM I-everything.
OM
Look at how many of your common words contain the OM to bring you back hOMe: wOMan, mOM, abdOMen, accOModate, accOMplish, anatOMy, bloOM, cOMpany, cOMpass, and so on.

Check out this original song (click the title to play it): Oh Mama. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. If you like it, you can download it (it’s Track 8) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb15

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Walking more than a mile in another’s moccasins

Making judgments

My grandmother (of Cherokee Native American Indian descent) often said,

Never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.

And apparently, as a child, those words soaked into me and became my mantra. And I became an empath. Or perhaps, I was born an empath and her words resonated with me and validated my nature. Either way, in my experience, being empathic has been like living on both edges of a sword. 

Never judge. Until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins
Never judge. Until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins

I’ve realized my life’s path has had me walk more than a mile in my mom’s moccasins–and also in my dad’s shoes. And I’m tired. Yet, profoundly grateful I’ve had such a multitude of experiences to learn so much.

No matter how many times I’ve pondered the heartache, the gut-wrenching, soul-shaking, events of my childhood–that I’ve recreated (knowingly or not) in my adult life, with some incredibly outlandish desire to FIX–I eventually cane to a knowing that I can’t fix anyone else. And I’m glad I figured that out before I met my third husband! 

No one can fix anyone else.

Just like that old joke, 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb has to want to be changed.

Repeating patterns

Unfortunately, even my children picked up the yoke of this dastardly twisted need to fix others, as they’ve fallen into some of the same relationship woes as I. And fortunately, all of us are in healthy relationships presently! Thank Limitless God we’ve all awakened from the lure of this whole “fixing” trap!

So, why am I writing this piercing note in the middle of the night?

Because I promised my daughter, if I accomplish one thing on this planet while I’m alive this time around, it is to break the “lather, rinse, and repeat” cycle of fixing–for my granddaughters. And all of my writing (both online and in books) is to ultimately leave earth-bound knowledge for my grandchildren. Of course, if any of these words help others, that’s icing on the proverbial cake! 

You see, I never knew Divine LOVE, until I held my first granddaughter in my arms. She (Jennifer Ann), means more to me than I could describe.

What can I deduce from this new found comprehension of having walked all of these miles, in my mother’s, and yes, some in my father’s moccasins?

That life’s not been easy. But, it was never my job to work out their issues.

Tempted to complain

My “love of my life” husband and I picked up a saying this past year that goes,

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

And whenever I start to complain about something that doesn’t really belong to me–someone else’s drama–my hubby will pop that quote out to me. I love him so much for bringing things like that to my attention! He knows the empath in me often gets sucked into other’s drama, because I always feel that I can help ease their pain–somehow.

The Universe presented us with that very same phrase while we were enjoying our big outdoor annual Awakening Into The Sun festival! My friend Mary Ann, owner of Awakened Fibers had a handmade wall hanging with the words, “Not my circus, not my monkeys” embroidered on it! How fun!

Not my problem

And as if that wasn’t enough, a few minutes later while visiting with Dr. Alison J. Kay, her assistant, Brenda, told us a new phrase that fully resonated with me. It was, 

You’ve heard it said to get your ducks in a row? But, they were never your ducks.

My goodness! What if the stuff I had taken on (for years), all of those “other people’s problems”, were never my ducks? I never needed to get any “ducks” in a row to straighten out my parents issues. Who did I think I was to feel burdened to do that? Ugh! And now you see why I am tired. Tired of carrying the emotional baggage of others–it was never my stuff to carry!

On the upside, I’ve had a successful (nearly thirty year) career (out of the need to walk in my dad’s technical “know-how” shoes). And after wanting a pair of real honest-to-God moccasins for years, I finally got some, and I’ve been wearing them everyday.

Wearing moccasins daily, I feel every pebble under my feet as I walk. And I love that! I’m constantly mindful that each challenge in life is as the grain of sand that produces a pearl in an oyster!

My daily walks provide me with the benefit of grounding daily, and the knowing that the wearing of these moccasins, physically brings my grandmother’s saying directly into my body—making her words experiential—instead of it just hanging around in my head like some mystical cloud.

So, yes, there are always positives. I know this. Why does it have to take some of us so long to figure things out?

Oh, because we’re programmed as children. Culturally, socially, and if you were raised in a religious faith, you (and I) were programmed. I’m glad I figured that out!

Cut the cords

Now, energetically at least, I’ve cut the cord of all of this for my granddaughters. 

Here and now I state, my grandchildren will not have to take any historical family burdens upon themselves. They can be self-filled. Self-motivated. They can help others as they choose. Free spirits! They can care for themselves first, without guilt. They can choose to do what they love! They do not have to repeat the sins of their parents, or of mine. They do not need to try and figure anything out. The past is the past and it is abSOULutely done.

I have broken this chain of fools.

 

What happened after attending “Your Sensitivity Is Your Power” teleseries

Your Sensitivity Is Your Power

Just before the New Year, I had the immense pleasure of doing a bit of “pre-paving” for my future by attending Dr. Alison J. Kay’s, “Your Sensitivity Is Your Power” tele-call series. And wowee!! It was super-charged!

The benefits

So, what happened after I attended the tele-call series?

I gained a clarity of my own personal power. Almost like I was stepping up a staircase of emotional well-being and balance! Yes, I accepted an invitation from the Universe to step up my personal power by being on these calls, and I’m the better for it!

I’m sensitive

Overly concerned with other people’s drama?
Overly concerned with other people’s drama?

As a sensitive type of person–in my life having been known as one to cry easily, become overly concerned with other people’s dramas, or get easily overwhelmed, I noticed each day after the tele-call experience, I felt lighter, happier, and less concerned with other people’s “stuff” going on around me!

Sometimes, I tend to feel as though I am carrying the burden of other people so much, that I prefer not to interact with others at all. Much of those feelings lifted after the tele-call series for me, and continue to lift as time goes on.

Traits of empaths

People used to tell me they knew I was naturally empathic. Dr. Kay explained empaths and their traits in great detail during the tele-call series. She let us know how each of us could use our gift of empathy to give us more ease and comfort day-to-day. We learned how to use our sensitive side without losing our sense of self.

The work

After each tele-call, I began to practice any/all of the following each day–whenever any difficult situation or conversation would occur:

  • Mentally ask myself,Is this mine?” And, if I knew it was NOT my problem, then I would mentally state, “Return to sender with grace, ease, and love attached, or I would simply state, “Send ’em love” (learned previously, but not practiced much) to really feel the vibrations emanating from my heart (the invisible intelligence Dr. Wayne Dyer used to speak of) going out to the person, lifting my feelings about whatever was going on.
  • Breathereally breathe, even take an extra walk as needed, climb stairs, stretch, or meditate. Then at my office desk, self soothe with my Young Living essential oils, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Jin Shin Jyutsu (JSJ), and/or Yamuna Body Rolling — using one ball behind my back and/or putting my bare feet on the foot wakers under my desk. (This has also has enabled me to share these modalities with others when they would ask what I was doing–Yay!)
  • Distance myself when my inner being tells me, re-soundly, that right NOW (in THIS moment), this person or place is not good for me (or I am not good for others in this space). I honor, respect, and love myself enough, to walk away and go to another place where I can feel good!
  • Set boundaries. I can choose whether–whatever is happing in this moment–conflicts with what I’ve previously written about (to “Be open to receive”) and to know that I am allowed also, to receive or not. Must I receive all and filter? Must I receive bad to receive good? Maybe. But, I have the power to choose that for myself.
  • Expand my energy – Each morning include in my meditation to go into my awareness and expand it outward to my family, my circle of influence, neighbors, local community, state, region, country, continent, and world. Celebrate the knowing of others via Twitter, Facebook, my blogs, etc. whom live in other countries. Celebrate this knowing of WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. This is true.
  • Empower myself. Indeed, put my cape on! 😉 Be my authentic self. Act on the truth that my inner being resonates with, i.e. when I feel my “God bumps”. I even signed up for Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith’s Life Visioning class, no doubt because of how powerful I felt after completing Dr. Kay’s tele-call series! How does it get any better than this? Yay! And later, I signed up for Yamuna classes (see this Examiner article I wrote) to learn about “Body Rolling”.
  • Though I know, I don’t act like it. It is never necessary to be the victim. I am not trapped. I always have a choice. I break any DNA, biological, mental, or spiritual chains that could have come through my lineage and blood. In the name of our Limitless, Ever-Living, Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Pulsating, Be-ing, Creator Source God who IS the Energy that holds the Universe together. Beyond what we can see. Beyond what we now know. Faith IS the substance of things not yet seen.

Empaths have our own level of sensitivity, level of awareness, unique energetic healing modalities, and spiritual gifts to share with the world! I am ready to share mine!

Clearing the past

The tele-call sessions with Dr. Alison J Kay and her empowering messages and clearings, transformed past (even something that happened a moment ago is “the past”) shame of negative actions–allowing me to consciously “let go” of negative limiting thoughts, acknowledging that forgiveness is a daily process. I knew the pain I felt in my body were the cells of my body (scientist Candace Pert proved cells hold memories) calling out for me to transcend and know that really everything IS okay!

Dr. Kay’s clearings tuned me in and provided me with different verbiage to explain to myself, and to you in this post, what had been happening. Healing is an ongoing PROCESS!

How it builds up

Everyday life causes certain connections to occur:

  • The neighbor who may or may not smile at me when I step outside. That person doesn’t know me.
  • The store clerk that serves me may ask, “Did you find everything okay?” without really meaning it.
  • The restaurant owner’s son, who while ignoring us, scolded an employee (the employee was actually attempting to seat us) for not following proper procedures. He didn’t realize they would lose a customer by behaving that way in front of us, instead of just seating us–they could train their staff in private later!
  • The soldier (police, firefighter, teacher, or other public servant) who is just “doing their job” without considering the moral choices he or she actually has.

We really can get better

Many of us abdicate our ability to choose and lose a moment (or more) of happiness and joy for  ourselves and others. And we can help others – we really can! If we’re in better shape emotionally, mentally, and physically, we can change the world! And why is that important? Because We Are All Connected!

The energies and what I learned during Dr. Alison J. Kay’s tele-call series for sensitives continues to free me. The time spent on her calls FELT sooo good, not just for a short time, but weeks later.

About Dr. Alison J. Kay

Meditation and yoga teacher Dr. Alison J. Kay, offers weekly group telephone calls, online video-conferencing (Google Hangout), and private sessions where you can learn about meditation techniques. She teaches yoga classes too! Her group fitness classes include: yoga, mind-body, and core-strengthening.

Dr. Alison J. Kay studied in the east, Asia and India and thoroughly knows and understands the basis of the placebo effect (using several modalities, including meditation) and it’s relationship basis of subtle energy.

Learn more about Dr. Kay here –>> Alison J. Kay (Healer, author, yoga and meditation teacher, QiGong instructor, and coach)

The tele-call series gave me hope for all of us to continue on our journey, learning and growing every day. To me, there is no such thing as “false hope”. Hope is hope. Because FAITH is the SUBSTANCE of things not yet seen.

I invite you to continue opening your mind to learning about something new in 2016 and beyond. You are never to old to be open to receive new and helpful information.

Be ye blessed in ALL ways.

Original music

Check out this original song, It All Starts Within You. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 9) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordband2

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

 

Playing the “blame game” – climbing the emotional guidance ladder to a better feeling place

Playing the blame (guilt) game, ugh! But, I am where I am (as Abraham says) so, it’s gotta be okay. I am where I am in the middle of dis-ease, or grief, or shame, or self-loathing, or x-y-z, but, I am where I am and it’s okay. Why is it okay? Because I am where I am and I’ve got no other choice. Except to consciously take steps to improve my feelings, and reach a better feeling place. I want to feel better. I know it’s possible, but in “this moment”, my “now”, I am where I am!
I thought it might help me (and maybe others reading this who unfortunately fall into grief and despair), if I write down a couple of ways I worked through my pain over putting my beloved (almost 14 year old) best furry friend, Lou-Lou’s Beau “down”. (By the way, why the hell do they call it “putting him/her down” anyway? I think it should be “released” because my intention was to release him from his pain! Ugh! Beau 2009 summer
I also do EFT tapping using these statements which, helps to calm me and provide emotional relief. So here we go. Abraham (from the book, “Ask and It Is Given” state there are 22 groups of emotions one can be in, in any point in time. #22 is the lowest vibration, the bottom of the list. The lowest of the lows. So that’s where I start. Not to wallow, but you gotta start somewhere and that’s where I was the day I let Beau “go”.
The intention of “Ask and It Is Given” is to help us locate where we are, what state we’re in emotionally, at any given point, and move UP to a better feeling place on the list. The following are my words, using their numbering scale. I am not plagiarizing – but if you follow their list, you’ll see where I’m getting the terms from. Also, this is going to take awhile, so you may want to check back in a week or so to see how I’m doing, as my intention is to climb the emotional guidance ladder to a better feeling place.
22) I can find all kinds of reasons to feel guilty at this point (and I am talking “to” Beau at this point):
  • I could have researched more about your eye problem;
  • I could have had your eye removed; Beau closeup
  • I could have changed my mind, at any point, during the last year and a half regarding, “no more surgery” on you, after you had the kidney / bladder stone surgery.
  •  Stupid insensitive me held a belief, for some reason, that you shouldn’t have any more surgeries. Why?!? That was a limiting belief! Ugh!
  •  I was so afraid you couldn’t take another surgery. You’re older, you aren’t strong enough (Who the hell am I to judge that?)
  •  I’ve bought other things this year that I could have spent that money on you instead. You were much more important to me!!
  •  I could have spent every waking moment with you, instead of going shopping, or going to a class, or working! (Okay, really?)
  •  I miss you so much! I hurt because you are not here! I miss holding you, caring for your eyes, taking you to the groomer, feeding you, and walking with you!Beau 2008
  •  You were powerless and I feel horrible that you tried to tell me what to do but I didn’t listen, didn’t realize when you face planted off the couch that you were trying to pop your own eye out to relieve your pain and heal your body! Ugh?
  •  I am in despair that I now have learned that I could have asked one of your previous veterinarian’s to remove your eye! Actually none suggested that to me or we would have done that with the first eye then maybe the second eye would never had gone bad!!
  •  What is the point of living this life when everything / everyone dies eventually?!? This is depressing!
  • My mom loved you (and Lou-Lou) so much too! She didn’t get to say good-bye to you! Waaaaa!!My mom snuggles Beau 2008
21) I am feeling so unworthy of all the trust you placed in me to care for you.
  • Unworthy of your unconditional love!!! Gasp!
  • I feel such guilt for not doing ALL I could have for you!
  • My ignorance should be no excuse!!
20) I am jealous that the neighbor’s dog is probably older than you, but he’s still around!
  • He seems to be doing fine.
  • Oh, but he’s a mixed breed.
  • I never get jealous… but I am in this moment!
  • Others around us, they seem to be able to “go on living” without any thought about what we’re going through! The nerve! (I know, emotions are not logical!)
19) I feel anger at myself for not doing more! But, how much more could I “really” do?
  • Anger at the doctors, especially that opthamologist we saw a year a a half ago for not offering the eye removal option!!
  • They just wanted me to keep bringing you back to them every three months for a refill script / recheck for a compounded eye drop that you’d supposedly need every day of your life (mail order available only from NJ!!). Such bullshit!! Beau 2009 hanging out
19) I am discouraged that other people and doggies have to go through this trauma too!!
  • What discourages me is the inevitability of it all!
  • Why live this life if it’s all so futile?
  • Look how adorable both you (and Lou-Lou) were back in the day (2008) with my mom! My mom with Beau and Lou-Lou 2008
18) I don’t feel revenge – yet.
Wait, perhaps I do! I think I understand the revenge thing now. I feel that for myself. So, anger turned outward is revenge or spite. But, anger turned INWARD is depression, guilt, or self-loathing.
17) I am angry at myself for not being more bold on your behalf! But, I know you couldn’t live in your physical body forever. Ugh! This anger really feels strong in my body. I think yes, anger turned inward, to myself, causes depression, sadness, and pain.
16) I am discouraged.
  • I am disheartened that you suffered needlessly for months, (Gasp!) God forbid, more than a year!!
  • I am utterly discouraged with some of the veterinarian’s we went to over the years.
  • What about the guy who told me you just had “old doggy eye”. Jesus! Was he for real?
  • Then the next doctor, who I really liked, when I told him what the previous doctor had said, did not disagree with him, but did suggest more medications for you. And that I should take you to an opthamologist, which I did.
  • I am discouraged for others, that they’ll have to find a way, and figure this stuff out – even while their doggies (or cats) suffer needlessly. Why can’t we just “know” it all? Why can’t we go to one person, Google it, or read a book to find out?
  • Why all of this time seemingly wasted on the “trying” to figure it out?
15) I blame myself for your pain.
  • I will never trust myself to ever have another pet.
  • I am horrible! Besides, I could never replace YOU!
  • You were my best boy and best doggy EVER. Period!
  • This is the worst ever feeling!
  • I am so sorry Beau!!!
  • I trusted professionals to help (oh, maybe now I feel vengeful?) the experts should have given us the option a year ago to have your eye removed! Beau after Critter Oil bath3
14) I am worried if I did the right thing in “releasing” you.
  • My adult children (thank you sweet ones) have comforted me, saying I did, but I have all of these questions racing through my mind. Angst!
  • I almost never worry, but I am holding my worry finger (as I learned in Jin Shin Jyutsu) so I must be worried.
  • I feel the need to harmonize my worry over your suffering.
  • You almost never showed discomfort! But that didn’t mean you didn’t feel discomfort! Oh Beau! My best boy! Beau front Aug 2014
13) Doubt. Didn’t what I just say, show how much doubt I am in? Doubt and worry seem so tightly joined!
  • I doubt that I did the right thing (releasing you from your physical body), and then I doubt that I waited too long to do it!
  • I can’t make up my mind at all when I am in doubt.
  • I am mentally running to and fro!
  • This is sickening!
  • I cannot allow myself to stay in doubt for too long. I will make my stomach upset. I will make myself crazy… okay I might already be on “that train”. Hmmm
  • I doubt that I’ll get “your” ashes back, and what would I do with them anyway?
  • I doubt that your physical remains will comfort me. I took a lock of your fur – that comforts me a little.
  • I doubt I’m going to feel any better today. Beau and Lou-Lou Easter haircuts 2009
12) I am so ridiculously disappointed in myself.
I should have known better, and not stopped researching until I totally resolved your eye issues.
Why? Because I recall a dog trainer I had taken Lou-Lou to for several weeks, years ago told me, “The dog is this tall, but you are this tall! You can see things and make the choice to avoid them!” Truer words have never been spoken. Even if you are five feet tall, you are taller than your dog and can navigate them through life.
11) I am overwhelmed by sadness.
  • I seem to cry at the drop of a hat.
  • I look at your picture on my desk at work, and I cry.
  • I start to talk about you to someone, and I cry.
  • But I am starting to see that sometimes, I don’t cry.
  • And that makes me know that I am definitely reaching, trying to find, a better feeling place – even if just for a few seconds or minutes in between thoughts of you.
  • Thoughts of missing you so very much.
  • I was overwhelmed with responsibilities and did not place you in a higher priority of concern.
  • I am overwhelmed by the love and support of my family and friends during this time (though I do not feel deserving of it).
10) I am frustrated and irritated with the way I handled, or failed to appropriately handle my grief. Okay though, that’s one reason I am working through the emotions via this blog.
Oh, a few people attempted to encourage me out of my sadness, but yes, that just irritated me more!
9) I guess I am being quite pessimistic right now, never wanting another pet. Sheila and Beau Bike Week Daytona 2010
8) I sense boredom is around the corner for me.
But wait, I’ve got a ton of pictures of you that I can share. And I found where I had made a Daily Puppy page for you years ago — HERE.
And, the author of a book I am editing offered me her sincere words of compassion when she emailed me:
“Your beautiful and precious dog will be by your side forever more.” Thank you my dear, Lela Starseed.
7) Will I ever feel content again? You used to make me feel content when you would lay on the couch with me! Beau fav place Aug2014
6) Will I ever feel hopeful again? I hope you are running, jumping, and playing in your Spirit ethereal body that is whole and new!!
  • On the day of your release, our new vet told me that you’d meet Lou-Lou again at the Rainbow Bridge (and we laughed for a moment, that you may not want to!) then I said, “Beau, look for your tall white dog friend!”
  •  A couple days later, I’m calling in my family who passed, to find you.
  • I remember when I was a child, other kids would say, “don’t have a pity party”, during times when I displayed sadness. I also know self pity can be self destructive. How can we balance all of these feelings, when Recovery groups tell us we must allow ourselves to “feel our feelings”?
  • I know I need to move out of, rise above, the feelings of sadness about Beau.
  •  I am hopeful that as, We Are All Connected, you have reconnected with my family who loved you too! Oh… this is how I can reach for hopeful feelings! This is hope!Beau 2008 so handsome
 5) Everything I have learned about ‘life after death’ tells me, ANYTHING is possible!
  • I can feel optimism for you when I visualize you with a big white dog!
  • Was it an English Setter that you fell so in love with?
  • I have been researching this, and asking others, because I am still trying to pull myself, consciously, up this list (to feel better)! 
    Beau back Aug 2014
4) I am attempting to reach for thoughts of positive expectation, to believe you live on – somewhere.
  • While visualizing you crossing over the Rainbow Bridge, I see you dancing for a big white dog!
  • Perhaps, you’re even frolicking!?!
  • I focus on the fact that you’re no longer suffering.
  • I know you’re out of pain. Beau 42613
3) Oh, how in the world can I be happy? How can I feel enthusiasm / eagerness again – about anything?
  • I know that “life goes on”. I don’t like it, so now, I’m back to #9.
  • I know the emotional guidance system is not linear. I will go up and down this ladder many times over – for as long as it takes.
  • I know you’re out of pain. Beau Christmas 2008
2) I know passion is out there. In my future.
  • I remember the passion I had when you first came into my life. How small you were!
  • I remember sweetly, what it felt like to nurture, train, feed, bathe, and care for you. Beau 2003
1) I know joy is out there. In my future, I will remember how much joy you brought me. Those memories will have to sustain me, because you’re no longer here! Sniff!!! Tear. I miss you so very much! But somehow, I will smile again when I think of you. Someday, I will smile and not get a tear in my eye. da beauster
  • Because I will ALWAYS appreciate having had you in my life.
  • Because I know how to empower myself, to reach for better feeling thoughts, via multiple emotional healing modalities – yes, even at the lowest of times.
  • Because I know you’re FREE! You’re experiencing FREEDOM. Oh, sweet ultimate freedom!
  • I am grateful, so beautifully grateful, to have experienced your love, and to have loved you!
  • Beau came to show me that Lou-Lou loved me unconditionally too, but in a different way. She just expressed unconditional love differently than him! Beau and Lou-Lou in the coach Dec 2010
  • Remembering the wonderful way my beautiful granddaughter would say, “Awe!” When I would lift Beau to the camera to say hello to her when we would Google Hangout or Skype. She would say that with such a compassionate voice, just like she knew how he was feeling, or just because as a child, she loves furry creatures. I don’t know, but it warms my heart to recall how she said it.
  • Talking with a friend and relating a memory about a time when we were walking and someone yelled at me to get Beau away from their grass, I looked up at the sky and exclaimed, “thank you Beau! I will never have to go through that again!”
  • All of this knowledge, it is helping me to feel better. And I am open to receive more knowledge.

UPDATE 25-Oct-2015: Just when I had begun, and I do mean “begun” to feel I’d worked through all of my feelings (figured out how to get all the way to number one on the emotional guidance scale… I slid right back down to #15 (at least) and started crying when my beautiful little four year old granddaughter asked to “see Beau” while we were on video conference tonight! Damn, where was my emotional balance that had begun to feel better? It all went to shit, and fast. I had to jump right back on here and read my list again!!

UPDATE 27-Oct-2015: My wonderfully supportive husband put a big picture of you (Beau) on our iMac desktop. When I sat down at the computer and touched it, lighting up the desktop to reveal your picture, I gasped, “Oh, Beau!” and then, “Oh, thank you hubby! What beautiful thing to do!” It was this close-up of Beau taken about six or seven years ago. He was in perfect health! But, I started to cry…

UPDATE 28-Oct-2015: I don’t know what happened. But, when I came home from work today (after having my Pilates workout), I signed onto the computer, saw Beau’s close-up picture and I smiled! Yes, finally! It’s been a week now after his passing and I can actually smile and think of GOOD memories when I see his picture. This is wonderful progress back to my normal emotionally balanced set point. We went to dinner also, and I was able to show the picture I took of the computer desktop, 1) to give my husband props for doing this, and 2) to show off Beau. He’s such a cutie. I was able to talk about him and not cry. I still miss him, and yes, I catch some emotion in my throat when I go to plug my phone in, near where his water bowl was, but I am letting go of the overwhelming emotions.

A week later I still cry when I look at his picture (not every time, but often). So, why? Because I miss him!
I still feel guilt about not doing more sooner to alleviate his infection / illness. (even guilt about perhaps I should have put him down sooner!)
I could allow myself to feel guilty about EVERYTHING to do with his ill health but, in reality, I know I tried. As my kids and I have discussed many times, we can only do the best we can about anything at any given time based on the information we understand at the time.
I must give myself a break.
UPDATE 1-Nov-2015: I updated this post with pictures of Beau. After meditating yesterday, doing a journeying process at Alania’s studio, I am, just this morning, able to go through all of the pictures and videos I have of Beau (and Lou-Lou) and find special ones to share — without crying. I am finally, now, at a point where I have some emotional balance about everything that happened. All of the good, the utter joy of having Beau in my life, and the not-so-good stressful times… during his ills.
I wrote a eulogy for Beau, a little at a time, during the ‘decision’ time. I shared it on Facebook then, but not here — until now. This is the link to it — HERE.
UPDATE 7-Nov-2015: My dad and mom have a mixed breed who had puppies three months ago. When we visited, my dad really wanted me to have one of the three puppies. I just couldn’t do it. Too many reasons. One, it was just too soon. And two, I still don’t know if I ever want another. But, I know it might be the last gift my parents are able to give me. Ugh! And yes, the puppies are oh, so cute! There is a black, brown, and reddish colored one – she’s the smallest. Adorable! Almost a Yorkie. Then a snow white one, a bit bigger. She’s also a girl. What a princess. All of their personalities are similar to Beau’s. Quite docile. Then a beige or light golden boy. He is the largest of the three, just a bit smaller than his mom and all three are three months old. How much bigger will they get? My son put an ad on Craig’s list. We sat there all afternoon meeting with would be “parents”. One young man took Princess home, bathed her, only to return her awhile later. His girlfriend did not agree in their having a second dog. But awhile later, she was adopted by another young couple. We were glad to be able to meet and visit with each adopting couple, so we knew they were going to good homes. The next morning, after I left, my son let me know the third, the golden boy, was also adopted by an older married couple. Ah! Because when I had left he was giving me those “eyes” like,
Why aren’t you taking me?” — that broke my heart.
At any rate, that day, I talked with my dad and he said the mommy, Sunday, was still crying and looking for her puppies. Had they waited too long to let the puppies go?
UPDATE 10-Nov-2015: Dad called me and was still upset about all the puppies being gone and said Sunday is still crying for them. I am at a loss except that I think perhaps I should send Sunday a nice stuffed animal to have. I also researched and found that when we (the people) are still upset, the dogs will pick up on our feelings and display similar emotions.
UPDATE 11-Nov-2015: I Google Hangout with my granddaughter and show her my two stuffed doggies that my husband bought me years ago, that resemble our Beau (and Lou-Lou). She seemed really happy that I had them, and she accepted my short story about Beau crossing the Rainbow bridge and being healthy and happy now. And that he had left us these “replicas” of them for us to remember them by. I still have my moments when I cry. But, I know that in the big scheme of things, that’s okay.
So, yes this has all definitely been a process. The goal was to be able to reach for any of the thoughts higher than #11 I guess, in order to be in a so-so kind of minimum good feeling place about Beau not being here anymore. Obviously, being at #1 or #2 all the time (about his not being here in the physical realm) was something, at that time, I never thought could happen. But, some of those thoughts, along with most of the thoughts being in the good feeling range, eventually helped me overcome the feeling of wanting to burst into tears when anyone asked about him, or when I would see another Shih-Tzu that looks like him, etc.
I have talked with others who have told me they still cry, years later, about the loss of their pet. And as an empath, I feel very deeply. I knew if I could figure out a way, or at least, “allow” myself the space to exist where I could attempt to feel better, it would help me, emotionally. Holding onto hurt, loss, guilt, grief, and all of those painful feelings can cause dis-ease in the body (which, I want to avoid if possible).

I hope others can benefit (at least a little bit) from my process. Love and many blessings to all (furry and human).

Be as the blade of grass, grow through the dirt.

I’ve heard it said, “you’re either growing or dying” and that, “the universe is either expanding or shrinking.” If that is true, then it seems to acknowledge that everything in life, all there is around us, is dynamic – nothing is static.

In a previous post, I wrote that, “We grow as blades of grass, up through the earth.” And that “dirt, or earth, is analogous to all of the resistance we encounter.” These thoughts were instigated years ago, when a coworker encouraged me with the phrase, “Bloom where you are planted.” Oh how right she was!

At that time, I felt constant irritation from a superior when he would casually walk by my desk and tell me to smile – while I was working! Being the studious and serious type, smiling while concentrating on work tasks was something I just didn’t do. The more he admonished me to smile, the more aggravated I became. In passing, I must have mentioned my exasperation one day to my friend, when she lavished me with that golden nugget of truth – about the blooming. I even remember thinking of a response to her – likened to – “yes, no matter how much fertilizer is put upon you!” (but I didn’t tell her).

Day in and day out, I would notice people around me laughing, chatting, and cutting up during the day, but I wasn’t.

I am an empath. I am a highly sensitive person (HSP). I feel lots of things very strongly.

I have discovered that I become resentful when things aren’t fair or balanced.

While working in an office, I recall thinking, “we’re here to work” and “we’re here to earn our pay.” Why was I always the one to feel so determined! I was always applying effort. The pitfalls of continually wanting to do my best, try hard, people-please, and succeed, yada, yada. But at what cost to my Self?

Realizing I was wallowing in resistance, I knew I had to climb out of it, or it would bury me. A seed pushes against dirt in order to grow, but I felt as though I was pushing against me, not growing, but receding! Plants, indeed everything in the living kingdom need the resistance in order to grow, and grow strong.

One day I learned what hell meant. Out in the garden we can hell for potatoes, as in “we’re sweating out here helling for potatoes.” Hell is just “the ground”, or “the dirt.” It never was meant to be some fearful place of oppression or torment. So, my thoughts of “this is hell” was the only thing that kept me disturbed. And I lacked the knowledge, at the time, of how to climb up out of the grave (of the frustrating job) up the slippery walls of resistance and into freedom.

Eventually, as other factors contributed, I left the job.

Years later, during a time of fasting, those years of struggle came to mind, but with softness and thanksgiving, the resentment fading. Not only had I learned more about myself, but as a body builder strengthens muscles from lifting weights, I had grown emotional muscles, in fact “blooming“, from what I had perceived as resistance!

I distinctly remembered the day I had begun saying to myself (about my boss), “Thank you for helping me to make a better decision” – whenever I’d felt picked on or taken advantage of (to do more work). I couldn’t change whether or not I was picked on, but I could have changed my reaction to it! And it had always been my choice – whether I was willing or able to know it then or not – as to how much work I was willing to take on.

All the feelings I’d felt were solely based on my perception and may not have been entirely accurate, as one can never really see things from all sides anyway.

Looking back, I saw where I had resisted quite a few things during that time, which is probably why I felt harried and stressed. Oh, had I just learned to “go with the flow” sooner, I could have smiled and experienced joy.

I’ve learned, we didn’t come into this life for the struggle. Life will go on without us after we’re gone. Whether we leave a company, end a marriage, or die. Nothing’s static, everything changes.

Now? I’m learning to let go and breathe. Get more play into each day. My former superior might be happy to know that once in awhile, even if I’m troubleshooting something, I smile and “in – joy” doing whatever it is I’m attempting to do. I wish for you the same.

See ya on the flip-side dynamic good buddy.

Life’s a thrill, hang on and enjoy the ride!

Limiting Beliefs

What are your “limiting beliefs”?

Limiting beliefs are thoughts you keep thinking, that probably sneak out in your speaking, that are your perceived limitations, and they limit you from moving forward in at least one area of life.

Limited perspective

After a year of working on my limiting beliefs – the ones I had already admitted to myself – I happened to hear myself say, “Nobody listens to me” while discussing something with a coworker. Aha! I’d just caught a limiting belief!

Nobody listens to me
Nobody listens to me

It’s something I say over and over again, and think even more! It IS a limiting belief and it’s not true! People do listen to me, even if they don’t – in the moment – express the hearing of my message, or acknowledge that what I’m saying may prompt them to action, or change.

I stopped right in the middle of the conversation and explained to my coworker that I had to jot down my “aha moment.”

BEing still

Meditation has helped me become aware of my thoughts. Listening to myself, I can barely have a conversation anymore without really hearing what I say! Am I communicating my highest intention?

Aha moments are vitally important. I am always learning (from my own words) and love these type of profound teachable moments, which add serenity to my life!

I am an empath, so I must always be observant of my thoughts to know whether I’m taking on someone else’s stuff, or whether indeed, my thoughts and feelings are my own.

Now I know that anytime I start to go down the thought path of “nobody listens to me”, I can change it to “everybody listens to me”, or “everybody hears me”.

I’ll try that and see how other things change in my life. Now that’s a limiting belief worth sharing.

A bit about me:

Check out this original song, Didn’t I Tell You. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 6) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb2

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

What a Feeling!

What a FEELING

I must say, today has been a ridiculously aWEsOMe day! I’ve just been published, a second time!

Celebrating the book

The book launched on Amazon.com with amazing success… by this evening, yes the end of the first full day – the book “The Energy of Receiving” reached #3 in the Self-Help category, AND #1 in the Self-Help, Spiritual category!!! I, along with my publisher, and the other 16 authors (18 total) who co-created this book are THRILLED!!!

I’m reading my copy of the book and posting a review on Amazon about it SOON!

What a FEELING!
What a FEELING!

Getting ready for the yoga festival

Also, my husband and I will be participating in the Awakening Into the Sun weekend festival in St. Petersburg March 7th and 8th 2015, and we’ll have a booth where I’ll be selling, and signing copies of the book. I will have 20 paperback copies for sale so, if you want a signed copy, come on out!

Glorious feelings!

As an empath, it will be interesting to see how much I feel during the event, and how many times I experience “God bumps”. I continue to note, when and where I feel God bumps, and it seems that it’s whenever I am talking about God, or spiritual (deep thought) topics, become familiar with someone’s pain (mental, emotional, or physical), or open a gateway (to unlimited possibility).

Update

The festival was an aWEsOMe success! We enjoyed meeting many new people, reconnecting with friends, watching and listening to new musicians, and sharing with other like-minded, like-spirited folk! I will be blogging about many of our friends in the upcoming weeks and months, so stay tuned! 🙂

On the eve of our 10th wedding anniversary, my husband and I really have a lot to be thankful for, and celebrate.

About the book

You can click below to check out my latest book and buy, if you’re so inclined (and thank you). My chapter is called, “Be Open To Receive”.

The book includes many lessons I’ve learned. Lessons to do with putting aside one’s judgments and making s-p-a-c-e to allow God, the Universe, the Law of Attraction, or whatever name you want to call the magical, mysterious LIMITLESS unseen power of Energy, to bring you all you’ve ever really needed, at just the right time.

Click to view the book, “The Energy of Receiving” by Happiness Publishing on Amazon.

You can also now visit my author page on Amazon –>> Click Here!

Press release

Check out the press release for the book –>> Click Here!

Much love to our family and friends. With heart-felt thanks, Thank You All.

We Are All Connected.

Words are only as powerful as we allow

In many circles you will hear people say that “words are powerful”, but do you believe it?

If words are powerful, do you know why? Because words carry vibration. Vibrational TONE. The tone sets up something for people, and animals too, that carries your intention forward.

Think of a time when you called out to a loved one, or pet, by name. Maybe they came to you. Their choice. Their free will. But, maybe they didn’t come to you. Or maybe not immediately. Perhaps they chose to stop whatever it was they were doing that you didn’t like. Or, perhaps not!

You call out again. Still, they do not bend to YOUR will, wishes, or desire. You call AGAIN. This time your tone of voice changes, getting more irritated, annoyed, angry, and LOUD. You can’t understand why, with all the energy your transmitting to this person, or pet with your voice, you’re not commanding their attention. You are attempting to control that person or animal with words.

Yet, the only difference in the words is the tone.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to drop whatever I am doing and go to a person who’s yelling at me, especially when I hear them using an angry tone. If however, I sense they are calling for me from a caring heart-centered place, I will go. Especially, since I am an empath.

If, however, I sense the yelling has a concern behind it, such as: “Get out of the way”, “Fire”, or “Help”, then yes, I will likely respond by moving quickly, calling out to others, getting help, or offering assistance.

You can tell someone’s intention by their tone of voice. We almost instinctively perceive that!

The first thing the person who yells a lot must get (understand) is that they do not control anyone.

The commanding shouter may make someone uncomfortable enough that they choose to do something for them / bend to their will (think of a soldier going through boot camp) but, 100% of the time, all day, every day, the person on the receiving end of the shouting / yelling has a choice.

If you are yelling at me, I can choose to do as you desire, or NOT! The world does not revolve around you!

So, why do people feel the need to control others with their words? What is all the damned yelling and shouting about anyway?

Over time, yelling at me just desensitizes me to the shouting. Or, my body becomes so stressed that I leave, and get away from that person – even if it means quitting a job! Loud vocals stress my body, if I choose to internalize those commanding words.

I would simply say, loud vocals stress my body, but that is only true if I’m accepting of them.

For example, if I love a particular rock band, I can go to the concert and love the loud singer! So, again, it’s all in our interpretation or how we perceive the tones, or words.

Children hear, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. Is this true? Studies show people who are constantly yelled at become negatively conditioned. (The particular study I linked to here says it also depends upon how much credit we give to the person yelling at us, someone in authority, or parent, etc. their words carry more weight!)

Words roared at us, even more so by those we love, either set us up to become aggressive (anger directed outward) or go into our shell, turning anger inward which, turns into depression or resentment. They may get to a point where they no longer pay attention to anyone who yells at them or they cry, become nervous, etc.

Yes, some words hurt, but maybe not for all the reasons we think.

The intention of the person using the word sets the tone. It’s not just the word that hurts.

Words after all, are just words. They are not REAL. They may represent something, but they are abstract and we can choose to define them any which way we want!

Words need to have a shared definition before they really count for anything anyway. Shared definition is very important – for example, you may define the word “fun” very different than I define the word “fun”. Interestingly we may define the words: “hurt”, “fear”, “pain”, etc. very differently based upon our understanding and experience.

When someone speaks light, fun, happy, or encouraging words to us the tone is typically lighter too! We feel it. Think of how your lover speaks to you. Think of how your best friend speaks to you when you’re engaging in fun, giggly, or perhaps deep insightful conversation. Think of how your grandparent or other close relative speaks to you WHEN they are flowing pure love (energy) to you. You feel loved, warm, and cared for as they speak! You know that they love you, their words are soothing and envelope you in love. Ah!

So let’s try a little experiment. As you sit there and read my words, be sure there is nothing else going to make you excited, no drama – ok? Make sure you’re not distracted and that you are relatively calm and peaceful.

As you begin to read the following list of words –  note if any push your buttons. Specifically do they get  you riled up, mad, sad, or other negative emotion. You’re safe. No one is physically going to harm you and you know this. Only check as you read each word slowly if you feel any mental or physical response. Here goes:

  • Confrontation
  • You’re ugly
  • Scream
  • Attack
  • You’re stupid
  • Betrayal
  • Fight
  • You’re bad
  • Struggle
  • Aggravate
  • Shut up
  • Insult
  • Coward
  • Assault

Do you feel anything in your mind or body as you read the words? Can you agree that these are just words. Characters on the screen. If you felt anything in your mind or body do you see where that is because of the way you define the word or link it with a previous experience?

When someone relays a hurtful story do you, do you find yourself wincing or in some other way empathizing with their story? Again, you are not IN their story – no one is attacking you, but often I find that many of us (especially empathic people) in some small way can sense or feel the pain the person went through during their experience. It’s also the reason I won’t watch certain movies. If I don’t feel the pain in my body I may have bad dreams because the movie assaulted my mind.

To take this topic, “Words are only as powerful as we allow” in another direction, what about doctors who tell their patients they only have 6 months to live? Those words hurt in another way.

In my opinion, doctors break the Hippocratic oath when they tell patients they only have x number of weeks or months to live or there’s nothing else they can do. The doctor may not shout at you, so it’s not the volume of the voice (such as yelling) but those words are very heavy to receive. In fact, it has been theorized that a doctor’s end of life time frame prediction could induce an auto-suggestion manifesting as self fulfilling prophecy.

What’s wrong in this scenario is that people ascribe so much weight to the doctor’s words because of the physician’s credentials and so-called authority. The finality of the meaning we ascribe to the time limit of this death sentence (no pun intended) really packs a punch! In fact, I recall several people telling me that when their doctor told them they only had x weeks or months to live they literally felt a “punch in the gut” of their body!

So, do you stop to question if the doctor’s statement is really true before reacting? Do you take a few minutes to engage your cognitive mind, stay calm, and let the doctor know you want a second, or third opinion? Do you seek out many other experts? Or do you take this one doctor’s word for when you will die? I invite you to think about that because the nocebo effect (read Bruce Lipton’s book “Biology of Belief”) is being proven every day. Of course if you challenge those negative words (and some do – thankfully) they prove the opposite and outlive the prescribed time frame and experience spontaneous healing!

I have been studying the placebo (and nocebo effect) that Bruce Lipton, Phd. speaks of for several years. When we got into the “raw and living foods” philosophy of eating back in 2008 we shared meals with many people who rejected their allopathic physician’s “limit on their life span” and took it upon themselves to gain knowledge and allow their bodies to heal naturally. Dr. Lipton still interviews about the placebo effect and how traditional western doctors only get about 15 minutes of education on it in medical school. In my opinion, even if doctors got a whole course on the placebo effect (and nocebo effect) it wouldn’t be enough.

Dr. Alison J. Kay talks about the placebo effect as well. She has studied in the east, Asia and India and thoroughly knows and understands the basis of the placebo effect (using several modalities, including meditation) and it’s relationship basis of subtle energy. (Reference my full article about Dr. Kay’s work here.)

Recently I’ve come upon an interview by Dr. Paul Drouin of http://iquim.org/ along with Dr. Joe Dispenza where they discuss the placebo effect –>> Click here. This also may explain by how so called “false hope” may indeed be helpful to someone. When you look at the science (which is just measured observation) it begins to make sense.

Let me give you some happy and light words and see if now, they change your mood, or if you feel these in your mind or body:

  • Safe
  • Hug
  • Silly
  • Joke
  • Fun
  • Tickle
  • Whisper
  • Smile
  • Love
  • Laugh
  • Winning
  • Cuddle
  • Soft

How do you feel now? Again, just words. Again, just what meaning you attach to these. Did you think of your pets, loved ones, children, etc.?

One of the Pixar short video’s we love is called, “Dug’s Special Mission” from the movie “Up”. In it there’s a line that my husband and I say to each other often when we’re seeking to be understood. It’s always said in fun, and with a light heart. The line is: “Do you understand the words that I am speaking to you now?” It is our belief that the intention and tone used when words are spoken, often say much more than the word chosen implies.

I am a tonal. I read between the lines – a LOT! Sometimes I get it wrong, or maybe not. Maybe people just catch themselves and then clarify what they mean when I question their words, but I am always seeking to understand. Sometimes when I perceive someone speaking in a harsh or brisk tone it takes me awhile to figure out if they intend to be forceful, irritating, or hurtful. Their tone has probably caused me some undue fatigue. I have even been irritated by the tone of someone’s laughter! Has that ever happened to you?

If you are in any kind of pain or dis-ease, let’s try that same word power game. Focus on the pain in your body. Assign the pain a number 1-10 with 10 being the most intense. Now read the following words:

  • Trust myself
  • Kind
  • Hug myself
  • It’s OK
  • Allow
  • Comfort
  • Getting better
  • Peace
  • I’m alive
  • Knowing
  • Healing
  • Power
  • I’m still breathing
  • Pure Joy
  • Blessed
  • Pure Love
  • Light
  • Flow
  • Bliss

Check in with your pain again. Has your number 1-10 come down?

Even if your number only came down one number say, from a 9 to an 8, that’s improvement! If so, this validates and proves to you the power of words. Read them again but this time in the voice of one person (who either now or from your past) who has a voice you love and who always spoke in a nice, sweet, caring tone. Do it now.

Recheck your pain level.

Bottom line: Words only carry the power (vibration and energy) as we allow. The tone in which the words are spoken (either out loud or in our heads), or the authority of those who speak the words – attempts to make the words carry more meaning / power, however we still have a choice whether to buy in to that or not. If we do not buy into people’s authority, the power of their words mean less to us. If we can decipher someone’s intention based upon the tone we can also better choose whether to accept or reject their words.

Peace and love to all.