Moving from BEing unnerved to experiencing Love

Unnerved

I was completely unnerved!

As a highly sensitive person (HSP) I wanted to stay with my friend at an outdoor cafe and enjoy our visit, but a roaring motorcycle went by and the noise overwhelmed me!

I lost touch with the truth of who I am. I got rattled. I almost picked up my stuff and left, as I was quite literally… BESIDE MYSELF!

Beside myself
Beside myself

A fuller version of the story:

I had arrived 10 minutes early to Ionie’s cafe in Sarasota, Florida on a beautiful Saturday afternoon (Jan. 17th, 2015)– a week after my birthday.

A dear friend and I had previously agreed (earlier that same day) to meet at 1pm there and though she is usually early, she wasn’t on this particular day. I don’t state this to judge, only to establish a precursor to my story.

The last time we had met there, we sat outside and I was prepared to sit outside, but when I arrived I noticed that both outdoor deck tables were full so, I proceeded inside to find a table. It was a fairly busy time there.

My friend arrived a few minutes after 1 (I did not note the exact time because I had been relaxing, listening to the peaceful music and drinking a beet juice drink and water).

As she arrived, we said hello and hugged briefly and she asked if we could sit outside. I told her the tables were full and she said, she’d seen an empty one on the way in (possibly so, things change of course). I said “There wasn’t one available when I came in”, and that I preferred to stay inside (I don’t know why, perhaps because I’d become comfortable). Having none of that however, my friend went back outside to hold the table and asked our server, if we could move my things out there.

I gave in (another precursor) and just as I sat down outside a VERY loud motorcycle went by and I proclaimed that it was the reason I did not want to sit there. She said, “We sat out here the last time”, and I should have said, “Yes, and I didn’t like it” and “since we sat outside before, let’s try inside today.” After all, I had invited her to join me – as I had been there several times by myself. But, I didn’t. I allowed myself to be manipulated, after all, I love change and am flexible to the desire of others (many times to my detriment though)!

Lessons learned

At any rate, the point of this writing this now is my logical attempt to put words around the experience of the FEELING that overtook me. When that motorcycle went by, I felt as though I was going to come OUT of my skin!! My entire nervous system shook. My hands and legs trembled. I went back inside of the cafe to reclaim the previous table with thoughts in my mind of leaving. But I wanted to preserve the friendship and felt if I reacted in a dramatic way, I might rock the boat. As well, I have written book chapters about “Connections” and “Being open to receive” so I opted within my mind to find a way to overcome my reaction, noting to mySelf in that moment that I may be overreacting.

How it ended

My friend had came back in and tried to reassure me that they had another table out to the side of the building (not on the street) where we could move the chairs from the other outdoor deck table in order to sit in a quieter spot. Thus, compromising (or giving in), we sat under a tree by the parking lot. It was a bit easier on my senses.

I awkwardly explained to her that I needed to calm myself. I sat utterly quiet. I repositioned my chair, made my body comfortable, and breathed for about the count of ten.

After settling in to the new outdoor spot, the conversation we had over the course of 2 hours, was very beautiful, engaging, and I even expressed to her how I was learning to handle events like what had just happened. I had felt my central nervous system was burned out, as I worked in another town (at that time) and had to wear headphones most everyday because of the city and office noise.

An emergency vehicle went by at one point and I expressed (in a bit easier way this time) that this also disturbed me. It mostly aggravated me (I put my fingers in my ears while the siren was sounded) because when they turned off the siren, I took my fingers out of my ears, then they immediately sounded the siren again! Ugh!! I rhetorically asked, “Why can’t they just leave it on until they get to wherever it is they’re going”?

When it was time to leave, we exchanged a hug and my friend genuinely thanked me for sitting outside. And in that moment I knew we would not have had our lovely visit if I had left earlier when I was mad over the initial irritation.

What I learned from this experience

Allowing this moment to be as it is and just be aware of it;

I must always reach for the best feeling thought and comfort myself;

Just breathe;

Touch an acupressure point or focus on one and breathe;

I may not always express or articulate my pain or displeasure appropriately, but I can at least let the person know that I need a few moments to center myself.

Later on that day, I recognized my emotional balance and growth. And that at no point in this experience, which I called an “assault on my senses” did I cry! Even just a year or so prior, I may have cried during, or after the experience, or when I would later recount the story to my husband. Hmmm… change is GOOD!

The next day I found this beautiful interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ9UtuWfs3U

The lotus grow out of mud – you cannot grow a lotus on marble but in mud.

Suffering is mud to grow the flower of understanding and Love.

  • Meditate in every moment
  • Live in the here and now
  • Recite a mantra or not
  • The more people you sit with, the better for collective energy

I offer you the following FOUR mantras you can meditate with:

1) “Darling, I’m here for you”

How can you love if you aren’t there? You are not preoccupied with the past or future.

2) “Darling, I know you are there”

Use this to recognize the existence of the other person.

when your beloved one suffers use the third mantra:

3) “Darling, I know you suffer that is why I am here for you”

Simply your presence can give someone a lift.

Lastly, when you suffer and you believe your suffering has been caused by your beloved one – use the fourth mantra:

4) “Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best to practice Love, please help me.”

❤️🦋🌀

It seems simple.

This is also quite a beautiful lesson:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KopmSpe33Eg

On a deeper level, what really happened?

I learned that I am my perceptions. I learned what the true nature of “I” is.

Listening.

Perceiving.

Observing.

With Attention.

The real me is the “I” that is underneath all of the circumstances of my life.

In the moment of non-thinking is Attention.

Timeless, untouched by time. I before it becomes this or that. Just “I”.

My first guru of the Eastern arts and teacher, Ram Giri Braun, taught me this wonderful mantra in 2008:

“I am loving awareness.”

He said this is not for the mind, this is from Ram Dass. It is not meant to make sense. It’s about feeling something. Get in touch with YOU. Get in touch with the lovable YOU that’s inside of you.

Ram Giri taught me Open Attention and HeartSourcing.

You can learn about that too, here.

On Jan. 31st, 2015 I took a class at Suncoast Jin Shin Jyutsu with Michelle Giambra in Sarasota, FL. At the beginning of the class Michelle stated that, “Synchronicities abound.” And then another lady in the class said, “We love the synchronicities that abound here”! Beautiful!

Note: The first four letters in Michelle’s last name are, “G-I-A-M” like the online TV channel I love GIAM, that later changed their name to GAIA: https://www.gaia.com )

I learned there are ways to hold my body that will calm me, ease tension, and anxiety! Break-throughs!!

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, No Permanent Damage. It’s one of my husband’s tunes – performed and recorded in Nashville, TN. You can download it (it’s Track 4) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb15

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Do you need a Fraidy Cat Coach?

Name calling

As kids, I recall the term “fraidy cat” (and scaredy cat”) being used on more than one occasion while playing at the playground.

I don’t thin I considered myself to be a fraidy cat, however I’m sure I was in certain situations.

Fraidy cat coach
Coaching service

Finding relief

As I teach Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to others, I realize that this aspect of being a fraidy cat lives inside most of us, in one way or another (depending upon the situation we’re facing).

Wouldn’t it be nice if you had someone by your side, to hold your hand, when you feel most scared and vulnerable?

That’s what I’m offering to you, NOW.

PM me on Facebook, or email me: sheila.murrey@gmail.com

Let’s see what feelings we can shift, so that you can experience calm.

If you’re reading this right now, chances are there’s something you are afraid of committing to, scared of saying, or feel tense about doing. I’d love to ease you through it.

I have years of “trial-by-fire” real life experience of walking people by the hand, literally, through some of life’s scariest and riskiest situations.

Let me help you gracefully glide through whatever difficult thing you’re facing —

I am ready to assist.

Your fraidy cat coach,

sheila

A bit about me:

Check out this original song, For the Little Ones. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 5) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Natural health: Relief from anxiety using EFT / Tapping

Originally published on EXAMINER Sept. 7, 2013

Have you ever had the experience of someone making you mad / angry, and in that moment you either didn’t know what to say, or you would cuss, hurl insults, flip a certain finger, yell, scream, throw a fit, or act in some other seemingly uncontrollable manner?

Maybe in the moment of confrontation you go into a rage, attack, cry, pout, or run away? Or you just can’t wait to get home, so you can tell your spouse, tell the offending person off on Facebook, slide into emotional eating, or make gooey fattening comfort food and chow down into oblivion.

I have great news!! A healthy, non-calorie, alternative you can use on yourself to calm your central nervous system! And it’s FREE, once you learn it, and you can do it at nearly any time.

I’ve found relief from the anxiety experienced during those highly charged confrontations. Plus, I’ve learned WHY I never seem to know what to say in that hostile moment.

It’s how we’re wired, and it has everything to do with the fight or flight response! The amygdala in our brains is actually so busy trying to figure out if we should scream or flee from the offending person that the analytical part of our brain can’t get a word in, or out! Seems funny to say that now but it really is what happens and that too, is frustrating – causing us even more irritation in the moment!

The confrontation ends and a few minutes later, or an hour, or a day, we think to ourselves, “why didn’t I say…”.

When I get upset I’d rather not feel nervous or tense, I’d rather like to laugh, walk away, or be able to just shrug it all off. Instead, even if it’s only my self talk, I get irritated and think “get a life”, or such. But, I don’t like that. I’d like to always be conscious of my thoughts and in control of the words that come out of my mouth. Wouldn’t you?

I’d like to say anything other than hurl an insult (which I admit is rare but has happened). I hear people say, “it is what it is”, “life goes on”, “God bless you”, or simply laugh and never give it any thought. Me? Noooo… I tend to bring it all home and stew about it. 

Ruminating on negative things leads to stress. And if carried around long enough it could affect my health.

Thankfully though, I am transforming for the better! I choose to stay in conscious alignment with my true nature more every day. I choose to let it all go, right then, right in the moment. Ahhh. Before, how I felt depended on whatever had influenced my day. Now, I really am empowered!

I found out about EFT years ago when I learned of the meridian system of the body from my acupuncture doctor. I even went to an EFT coach for one-on-one help with a couple of issues. Later, I took some friends to the EFT coach. 

I’ve been practicing EFT /Tapping much more regularly for a host of things, and I love it! So much so, that I am talking and writing about it.

On Sept. 5, 2013 I gave my first FREE public EFT / Tapping presentation!

I really enjoyed sharing this information with new friends at our RV park.

Seven people came out for the event, and I’ve already received heartwarming feedback. It’s helped people feel better, and that’s the whole point. Relief! Results!

The attendees were: a senior couple, three single ladies, a single guy, and my husband (8 including me)! Woot! The single gentleman was concerned for his doggie at home – who experiences storm anxiety so we even tapped about that! Great group! So open to learning, sharing, and tapping together! We tapped on anxiety, on the economy/government/politics, and all the stormy weather we’ve been having this lately in St. Petersburg, FL.

If you don’t have a clue about EFT / Tapping, I have several websites I can point you to and videos. I’ll include several links below.

Here are the basics:

Talk about your problem, negative feelings, anything unwanted, sad emotion, depressing thing that’s going on IN THE MOMENT while tapping on the side of one hand with two or three fingers from the other hand. Rate on a scale of 1-10 how much you’re feeling the negative or unwanted emotion before you start and after you end. This will help you to know the Tapping provided relief.

Say this “problem” 3 times, beginning with “Even though” and ending with “I deeply and completely love and accept myself or something about myself that I believe is true about ME, like: my body, my soul, my feelings, my emotions, my name, etc.)”. You will want the statement to be true, so you can use your own words, the ones that resonate your truth. Here are some examples of this:

The scenario: A clerk is short, brisk, rude or some such thing and it upsets me. I walk out in a huff vowing to myself never to go back to that store again! I feel the irritation and maybe even anger in my body. I do not want to carry that negative emotion to the next interaction I have with anyone, much less all day, much less all week, etc. So as I leave the store and enter my car I say out loud to myself while tapping the side of my hand:

  • Even though I’m so annoyed with that !@#$ clerk at the store, and my anger is warranted, I could have just (insert what you usually say here, punched, kicked, yelled, cussed) at or to her, I deeply and completely accept my feelings
  • Even though that clerk was really rude to me, she totally ticked me off, I deeply and completely honor my soul
  • Even though she was a stupid, ignorant, jerk, idiot, moron, you name it… and should have thought before she spoke, I deeply and completely love and respect myself

Now, I move through the rest of the tapping points, choosing one word from anything I just said about the problem to reinforce to my brain that I really did feel / experience this issue:

For each point tap 5 to 7 times, not necessary to count them just tap and talk and go with the flow. Also these words are just an example, say whatever your feeling. I realize you may not know what word to associate with the feeling but with practice that will come easier and easier.

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow (Say out loud): I’m so irritated
  • Side of the eye: I say – I’m very frustrated
  • Below the eye: Ugh, I’m Upset
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: Angry
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I feel bullied
  • Collarbone point(s): Annoyed
  • Under the arm*: I’m really Mad
  • Top of the head: Flustered
  • Take a nice big deep breath

The under arm point for women is at the bra line, for men it’s about a hand width from the arm pit.

Repeat this process two or three more times, using different words. Hopefully you’ll notice that you’re choosing easier, lighter words because by the second or third round you’re feeling better! I’ve found the second round goes something like this:

  • Even though I got upset during that confrontation at the store, and believe I’m justified to feel the way I do, I deeply and completely choose to somehow get over it
  • Even though that clerk was a jerk, she probably didn’t set out to ruin, or spoil my day, I deeply and completely love and accept my intentions
  • Even though people should be nicer, I would like to practice what I preach, somehow forgive, and deeply and completely tune into some good feelings now

And then…

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I’m still aggravated
  • Side of the eye: I say – But somehow I want to let it go
  • Below the eye: That silly clerk, what was she thinking?
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: Spoil my day
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I’m justified in how I feel
  • Collarbone point(s): but I don’t want this to ruin my day
  • Under the arm*: I didn’t do anything wrong
  • Top of the head: I played no part in that
  • Take a nice big deep breath

Last round:

  • Even though all my feelings about this situation seem warranted, I deeply and completely comfort myself
  • Even though people may not always act their best, I deeply and completely honor all of my choices
  • Even though people make mistakes, I want to forgive and live in a state of gratitude no matter what is going on around me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Then…

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I’m feeling a little less upset
  • Side of the eye: I say – I’m still a bit annoyed
  • Below the eye: Because I don’t understand some people
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: But I don’t want to carry this around like baggage all day
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: So, somehow I choose to let it go
  • Collarbone point(s): She’s already forgotten about it I bet
  • Under the arm*: I have no reason to continue to think about it either
  • Top of the head: So I guess letting it go really does feel better
  • Take a nice big deep breath

The photo / drawing that follows is a realistic example of the three (3) main EYE tapping points for our EFT work. Top end of eyebrow point, beside and under the eye. Below the nose / above the lip and below the bottom lip in the crease of the chin. Points are marked in pink.

master

The next drawing displays the tapping points marked in blue. This includes: top end of the eyebrow, beside and below the eye. Between nose and upper lip. Below the bottom lip on crease of chin. Also, where we tap on the top of the head.

master

For deeper understanding about other ways EFT can help you, read my previous article here.

Here are the links to more on EFT / Tapping – pick the one that best suits your needs!

The Tapping Solution – Nick Ortner

How EFT works in the brain – Nick Ortner

EFT – Gary Craig

Anxiety tapping – Margaret Lynch

EFT for digestion – Julie Schiffman of Dr. Mercola Center

Special thanks to those who assisted me during my first EFT presentation:

Thanks to my wonderful soul-sister “test” tapping model – Lola!!!

Responses about EFT results I’ve received:

You were terrific! Thanks for the wonderful presentation on EFT!! It works!!
Class attendee

Oh, you’ll enjoy this! M. has her 3 year grand daughter tapping! Is that too cool?!?!
You are amazing Sheila! Hope you have a wonderful day!
Hugs,
B.

I wanted to thank you SO MUCH for the knowledge you shared on your site. I clicked on the EFT tapping menu tab and have been doing the tapping for the last three days after watching the video, reading about it and printing out the instructions. I have been tapping about body pain and also for anxiety and so far, it is helping a great deal thus, I am MOST GRATEFUL to YOU for passing along this knowledge. I have forwarded the information to two others…
Friend

UPDATE: I will be offering a class on Freedom from anxiety using EFT on:

Saturday February 4th, 2017

Noon – 1pm

Awakening Wellness Center

6161 Dr Martin Luther King Jr Street N – Suite 102, St Petersburg, FL

Suggested: $10

Take it upon yourself to be healthy, joyful, vibrant, and beautiful. Be who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Then POOF and it’s gone

Then POOF it’s gone

Sometimes I wake up at 3am and lay awake in bed for an hour or more, hoping to go back to sleep, but my mind starts to drift. Sometimes I get up and quietly write something on the computer (for my blog, or the book I’ve been writing over the last ten years). Sometimes I meditate, pray, cry, and then meditate some more. Other times I go on a crystal journey (meditating with one or more special crystals near or on my body), which nearly every time takes me on an inward path where I find the gentle solace of a holy place.

Take time

Spiral Energy by Sheila Murrey

My grandfather used to say, “Stop and smell the roses.” Somehow, I feel when I wake up in the middle of the night, it’s because I didn’t take time to smell the roses that day, or if I did, now I’m caught up in the mystery of it ALL. Had I been as fully aware as I could have been in that moment I was smelling the rose? To understand I was standing in the presence of something timeless? Grace washing over me? My thoughts become almost tangible and palpable. As I lay in bed, my heart becomes so open that I think it will leave my body! My huge open heart resonates with a feeling of connection with ALL.

Everything happens for a reason

I believe everything happens for a reason. I cry about things that cannot be changed, about which I feel guilty, or ashamed. Gradually, I let those thoughts go. I remember good times. I remember the friends and family who have transitioned. I miss them. I cry some more. Then, oddly, I begin very slowly, almost like a train steadily slowing as it arrives at a station, to breathe, and allow myself just to psychically embrace each of them. I remember each persons face, what it felt like to be near them, perhaps as we were going somewhere, dancing, talking, or such. I send them my love. I tell them, “Though I miss you fiercely, I know you are in perfect health, wonderful peace, and like the molecules of air around and IN me, you are still near me. And I love you. Thank you. Thank you ever so much dear heart for ALL you gave me. For helping me be who I am NOW.”

Sometimes after a stretch of time, I fall back to sleep. Other times, I write for hours before deciding it’s time to shower and get ready to prepare for my day.

There have been times that the connection I feel to my friends and loved ones, during these middle of the night mental sojourns are so strong, they seem vividly real. But, more often than not, the “visit” is faint, and dissipates into a near whisper. I am imagining, right? I mean, just because it feels real, it cannot be so. Or can it? As I do not limit God, perhaps there is a way to connect and spend time with my loved ones–and I am not only referring to those who have passed on, but even with those who are not living physically near me.

Empty space is not empty

I don’t pretend to know what fills empty space, though the new frontiers of science is finding that what they used to think was empty space, is actually “filled” with “something”–though they do not yet know what. Could that mean that my mystical musings in the middle of the night are when I mysteriously meander through a holy place? It certainly does feel like it’s a sanctuary for me.

Unaware

I’ve learned that when I move too quickly through a day, too caught in all of the “doing”, that I can easily walk by people, places, and things, unaware of the blessings or hidden messages that they might provide. Have I “walked by” people, places, or things, too preoccupied to notice the richness, the magnificence, or the subtle profound vibrations each offer me?

Realizing that I can always STOP, and consciously choose to pay attention to even the smallest of things, my heart dances with joy! I am open!

Heaven on Earth

I actively seek. And I know when we honestly seek, eventually, we will find. I do not need a crown of jewels when I get to Heaven (whatever do people expect to do with those anyway?) but instead, I’d rather trade anxieties for peaceful moments, sadness, feelings of loss, or thoughts of missing those I love most, into balanced emotions, joy, and dare I say, pure bliss NOW–while I’m alive! Isn’t that the true definition of having good mental health?

I go back again and again in my mind to my grandfather’s mantra. Regardless of the season, weather or time of day, I don’t want to miss the roses. When I leave this place, my spirit, mind, and body will have lived fully, changed much, and heartily, truthfully, given as deeply as I knew how–to those who received me.

I speak a mindful thought to someone. Then POOF! And it’s gone.

I would love to introduce you to the Resonance Academy! If you’re interested in Frequency, science, or just how everything is connected in the Universe, I think you’ll want to join the academy with me! Ready, set, click here!

Live and breathe Love & Gratitude 

Thank Omniscience ALLways. OM

For Fun

Check out this original song, Dogma. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 1) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A BIT ABOUT ME:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Check out my designs, which you can order in a variety of ways, as: t-shirts, mugs, pillows, phone and tablet cases: http://tee.pub/lic/GcgLVtV76Y8

Be the best version of who you came here to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself