Don’t blame, reframe!

Whenever you are ready to blame someone for hurting you, take a breath, take a walk, or sit with the situation for awhile before reacting.

Reframe the event several times to see if you can find where you played a role.

When I have allowed myself to get upset over something, I have found that if I can have a few minutes to an hour alone, without someone taking my side right away, I can usually turn things around in my head and get out of blame. And it feels better to me when I can manage to stop blaming another—and not see myself as the victim.

How to step out of blame

  • Breathe
  • Take a few moments to change your state
  • Take a walk or change your environment
  • Consider the situation from another’s viewpoint
  • Do something else for a bit
  • If possible, message or call the person who caused your upset
  • Take a shower
  • Meditate or say a prayer (not just about the situation, but for all involved—including you
  • Sleep on it
Blue light butterfly 🦋

What can you learn from this?

Butterflies signify transformation because of the way they change during their metamorphosis. Try to see if you can find the lesson you can learn from the event you just experienced.

The person that caused your upset may have no idea they upset you. You may merely need a change of perspective. In nearly every case of upset I have experienced, I was too much in my own head about the situation and when I changed my environment (as in walking outside, watching a movie, jumping on a business call, or sleeping on it), I was able to thoroughly change my view of the event and release my hurt feelings.

Ego

Yes, usually our hurt feelings have something to do with our ego. When I’m upset, it’s usually because my ego was bruised in one way or another—even if only a tiny bit.

And I don’t even consider myself to have much of an ego, but apparently I do.

It won’t hurt me to let go of more ego either. When we can embrace humility, it can help us stand more confidently. We can accept that we have a lot to offer others, in service—whether we are praised or not.

When people talk bad about you

I know it feels painful when someone talks bad about you. But would you rather be right, or feel good? If we want to feel better, reframing the situation can help.

I have had these situations occur in my life. I don’t blame the people (because to do so would put me in victim mode), but I have used those episodes to help me make better choices.

I used to shake my head before walking away, but I don’t do that anymore—because even that is a waste of my energy. I say to myself, they just aren’t on the same wavelength as me. Sometimes I teach by sharing, but mostly I just let it go. ❤️🦋🌀😉

A bit about us:

My husband is an award-winning illustrator, plus he is a seasoned guitarist, bass player, and songwriter (of over 400 original songs). You can view some of his artwork and listen to all of his songs on http://RichardMurrey.com or check out his latest 24 songs here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC53E21F-JlTW2iQmPcEIWkQ

I’m an Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon. Plus, I’ve written a new book (in the making for 13 years), Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, that’s now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format). Buy it here.

As well, you can hire us to promote your book, band, business, or services here: https://www.facebook.com/MurreyMakers-103294764612382/

Be the person your soul beckons you to be and let us promote you!

Here’s us: https://vimeo.com/416711742?ref=fb-share

Observations about Sheila

Conversations surrounding emotional balance, moral ambiguities, and deep spiritual truths (such as We Are All Connected, and Put Your Hands Together When You Pray), are what Sheila is most passionate about. She feels a profound empathic Connection with people and what they’re going through by merely sharing her own truth, by speaking freely about her personal struggles and the challenges she continues to overcome. Sheila strives to ease loneliness through teaching and sharing group collectives, help those exiting toxic relationships, and while reminding us ALL that we are stronger than we think we are, and that “Everything Resolves to Gratitude” in the end.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

14 thoughts on “Don’t blame, reframe!

    1. You know it, Evan. I actually had some stuff written on “blame” in my Notepad, but until your post sparked me to rhyme the two, blame and reframe, did I realize this needed to be a post! Thank you so much for the inspiration! And for your comment! ❤️🦋🌀

  1. I do try to look at the situation through the other person’s point of view, and lately, I go do something else to take my mind completely off the topic. Usually when I look back, I see a different situation.

    1. I love that, Jina! Isn’t it amazing how much better we feel (even if only a little), when we give ourselves some space from the issue? Thank you for commenting. ❤️🦋🌀

  2. Sheila, thank you for this informative and helpful post. I would add that it is embarrassing when you realize that you have overreacted to a simple misunderstanding. I don’t like having, “egg on my face!” All the best. Cheryl

  3. Many arguments would be resolved simply if people just did that, look at things from another person’s point of view as well as analyse themselves critically with respect to whatever they themselves said.
    Love this post 💚

  4. I agree with you. We don’t know what the other person is going through. I don’t take what people say personally. It is coming from the inner turmoil of their own lives. Great tips. Thank you for sharing and following my blog. Take care.

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