grief – Integrating the Spirals

July 11, 2025 Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey Art & Music, Connections, Expanding Consciousness, Holism, Metaphysics, Multifaceted

Integrating the Spirals: Call from my dad

I don’t know if she will let me reblog this (because she copyrighted it, and she’s closed comments on it too (ugh!), but as soon as I saw this post from Michele Lee, I felt it was a call from MY dad!! There are simply TOO MANY synchronicities here for me to ignore!

My dad’s birthday was also July 10th. He passed away March of 2019 (Michele’s dad passed a few weeks earlier, Feb. 2019). They both rode motorcycles and had several different corvette’s over the years. We always had a boat too, and dad loved water skiing.

And the horse photo Michele’s dad took, reminded me of a horse we used to have and the times dad and I would go riding together. Tears!

Lastly, I didn’t get to see the buck moon last night because it was cloudy here, but I was thinking of all the buck deer 🦌 my dad used to kill and bring home to mom and I (and how in his later years, dad didn’t want to kill any more). Dad said he realized they were beautiful. And then, I was also reminded of the deer family I was blessed to see in Ireland on a cool early morning walk on the Wicklow Way in 2019. I wrote about that memory: https://sheilamurrey.net/2019/08/03/a-sacred-celtic-journey-part-1-ireland/

Oh! Blessed memories. Blessed connections!

I miss my dad too, Michele. But in all these ways and more, you proved he’s still with me!

My inspired life by Michele Lee: https://myinspiredlife.org/2025/07/11/wild-buck/

The eulogy I wrote years ago for my dad:

Eulogy for my amazing father, Nelson Williams

Yours in consciousness-expansion as we evolve and revolve during our mystical awakening. All while doing-my-egoless-best, to take you on a limitless, spiraling thought ride to better health, through doing more with ease, to help us sustain the JOY in our lives! (With lots of Gratitude throughout.)

Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey

The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

About us

My husband is an award-winning illustrator, plus he’s a seasoned guitarist, bass player, and songwriter (with over 400 original songs). You can view some of his artwork and listen to many of his songs at: https://www.youtube.com/user/richardmurrey

Here’s a video of us performing on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/416711742?ref=fb-share

My books on Amazon

I have four books on Amazon. The two most recent are: Have Yourself a Wholly Vibrant Life: Reversing Asthma and Other Chronic Illness Naturally and Blue Eyes: Ethereal Messages of Connection.

Connect with us

Here are the social channels where I am most active:

February 26, 2023August 13, 2023 Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey Connections, Mind-Body

Teaser from the second edition of Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life (renamed, Have Yourself a Wholly Vibrant Life

This is a teaser from the 2nd edition of my 2018 self-published book, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life (to be renamed, Have Yourself a Wholly Vibrant Life). If you would rather listen instead of read, play the audio:

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

Quite simply, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) cured my addiction/habit of finger skin-picking/chewing. And I believe my story might help others, so I feel compelled to share it. You might wonder what I mean by “picking my fingers.” Years ago I quit biting my fingernails, but I only traded that habit for something less. The main cause of the “picking” had not been addressed.

I bought a book called, Tapping the Healer Within because my acupuncture doctor had told me about it, and because I had tried everything else. I found that book a bit convoluted and besides, it mostly dealt with phobias and anxieties – neither of which I thought I had. More importantly, it was difficult for me to hold the book and try to tap on my body with my other hand. Or maybe that was only my excuse – but the book, though interesting to me, wasn’t enough to help me.

A few weeks before my personal EFT visit with a local therapist, my encouraging hubby and I watched a mind-expanding show on TLC called, I Can Make You Thin. One of the episodes showed the host using EFT to help people overcome their food cravings. Because I had also tried everything to lose weight, I decided that I really needed some one-on-one personal guidance with that, as well as my finger skin-picking habit.

At about that time, I met an EFT practitioner named, Janice Cunningham (Health Quest Titusville, Florida). I was eager to get in for an appointment. During a 2.5-hour session (on a Saturday) with Janice, I described both of my issues fully. By the time we’d wrapped up our session, I found a total resolution to some deep-seated wrong mental programming, and amazingly, I had the best night’s sleep that I’d had in years that night! I guess I had not even realized that my sleep pattern had also been an issue.

My appointment with Janice also greatly helped me to release the finger skin-picking addiction. Janice and I spent nearly two hours going back into my past, into my former marriage, teenage years, and finally, childhood years. I realized that I had picked up my habit of fingernail-biting at the same time asthma began – when I was six years of age. My mom had always been a terrible nail-biter, biting right down into the quick, so I knew I’d picked up the habit from mom, I simply had not realized how much of a connection there was between that habit, my asthma, and my mom.

Example of finger picking on side of my ring fingernail. Yes, sometimes it still occurs when I watch something too intense in a TV show/movie–so perhaps I am not 100% “cured” but I have a LOT more awareness around it and do not continue to pick once I become aware that I’m doing it.

I realized fully during my session that when my mom’s father died, my grandfather, the sadness surrounding his death deeply affected me. When I was six years of age, coincidently, I received an asthma diagnosis. You’ll recall I had explained earlier that my grandfather had died at home after being in the hospital for cancer surgery. They sent him home with the understanding that the doctors had done all they could do. At least my grandfather died at home.

As an aside, one of the things my mother always said was to stay away from hospitals if possible. I think she had heard about people who went to the hospital and died from some infection (like Sepsis) or had the wrong procedure done! My mother’s fear of the hospital was not lost on me. The important thing about that experience for me though, was that even though I was a child, I had a deep connection to my grandfather’s passing, mostly due to how upset my mom was during that time. And because I was thoroughly connected to my mother emotionally.

My mama was very upset about losing her father. She and I, at that time, felt that death was the end. And though our religious belief was that we would see him again in the afterlife, we suffered greatly at the time of his death and for weeks after. I vividly recall believing if she could lose him, I could lose her. And there was no way I could live – I wouldn’t be able to breathe, in fact – without my mom. Knowing what I know now, I hard-wired that grief right into my lungs, because of the emotional charge involved in that event, due to my vivid recall of it.

My EFT session felt like counseling and hypnosis (though I was awake and totally aware of what was happening) as though Janice was talking to me on a deep level. During the session, Janice recommended I take some notes, both of the things I was becoming aware of and how to run through this process again on my own. The following is an account of the written notes I made:

I couldn’t breathe without my mom.
I always had tried to “save my mom.”
I am not my thoughts.
My perception influenced my thoughts but my perceptions were wrong.
The genie is out of the bottle.
I do not need the old thoughts.
Am I the thought or the awareness?
Am I “this” thought, or am I the awareness of “this” thought?
Who sent “this” thought? (My pain body)
Examine “this” thought. It will probably be a limiting thought, a no-win thought, and one that would eventually bring pain.
To let go of “this” thought: 1) focus on the feeling of my breath in and out, 2) be the observing presence.
When I only observe, I suspend space.
Inspiration = In spirit, and inspiration fills me, lights me up from the inside – the same as when someone is in creative mode you feel the creative energy inside, in your heart/chest not in the head area.
The Aha moment is when the head agrees to the inner knowing.
My habit of biting my fingernails = my fear and anxiety linked to my feeling of not being able to fix/help/save my mom.
Something that can trigger asthma in my body is when I face something I can’t do anything about; when I feel a sense of powerlessness.

Through this experience and the many more that followed, I learned we tend to hold fear as a sort of security blanket. I don’t know why, as I think that is the root cause of most of our suffering. And the Buddhists and Taoists believe and teach that also.

This is also a reason I bring up the topic of God and spiritual things in this book. Our beliefs—whether we have hope or not and if we believe this Universe is friendly or not—have a lot to do with how each of us feels bodily.

You may not think fear is the same as a person who is negative all the time, but I would wager that a person who is consistently afraid of this thing or the other, is a person who puts a lot of emphasis on protecting what they think belongs to them. Some might call that kind of person a control freak. They may be a person who lives for “things” and is a pack rat or hoarder. They may also be the kind of person who suffers because of all the things and people to whom they are attached. There’s a lot of healing in letting go, of people, places, and things. And you can’t take any of it with you when you transition (or pass away) from this life to whatever comes next.

The Bible in the book of Philippians has a verse that instructs us to think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, excellent, or praiseworthy. And the author of those words, Paul, said that as we think these thoughts the God of peace will be with us. I used to encourage my mother to focus on these things—and during her last two or three years, if not more, she did, because she was always in gratitude during our last visits.

Janice used EFT in a compassionate and caring way. The end result of the two hours for my fingers was every difficulty my mom had ever had, in her marriage, health, etc. I felt as though I needed to help her, or ‘SAVE’ her. Though mom had a very strong faith in Jesus, it was always something I had felt – that I needed to save her. Once we broke this down and got to this deep-seated REASON for my habit, so many other things lifted within my mind and body as well. I can’t say enough wonderful things about EFT. If you think you’ve tried everything to find relief from anxiety, depression, weight issues, nerve problems, etc. I implore you to seek out an EFT therapist in your area. You do not need to “believe in it” for it to work for you. And what do you have to lose?

Over the years, I took the words attributed to Jesus in the Bible about “saving people” to mean, “love people.” For I am not responsible for saving anyone else or even making them happy. However, the cells of my body hold me accountable for making myself happy (it feels good when I align with my Soul) to keep my Temple (Mind and Body), healthy. I can love my enemies, but I don’t have to live with them!

Thus, because I am a super responsible person – I’m supposed to do something. (This is the conflict that causes the habitual negative behavior). And because I have an analytical mind, I often find my thoughts at odds with the evidence-based medicine that is predominantly used in hospitals, as I believe the evidence of healing I’ve experienced is true too—anecdotal experience is real and is true!

I relied on prayer, EFT, breath work, reflexology, and all kinds of alternative methods to calm and help myself think clearly when my husband was in the hospital in October 2022. I was dumbstruck how little the hospital staff communicated with each other, even though they wheeled a computer into the room with them each time! I found myself telling each doctor, intern, resident, specialist, and nurse who came into the room to see my husband most all of the same things because they did not relay the information to each other. Since I am a business analyst in Information Technology by trade the lack of appropriate information handoffs I witnessed was alarming!

p.s. I used to teach EFT at a Wellness clinic in St. Petersburg, Florida and I have lectured on the benefits of EFT at several events. I am planning on offering some general introductory EFT sessions via Zoom if anyone is interested in participating–let me know in the comments.

To buy the new book, Have Yourself a Wholly Vibrant Life, please visit the link: https://amzn.to/44gRvpD

About us

Here’s a video of us performing on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/416711742?ref=fb-share

invite you to check out my new metaphysical book–Blue Eyes: Ethereal Messages of Connection. There are two versions (Kindle and paperback) on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3WV68KF

Fractals of Omniscience

In and beyond this magnificent Universe, Omniscience knows ALL. Omniscience is always with you because you are a fractal part of Omniscience. You are truly never alone in this ever-expanding Universe. We are each fractals of Omniscience akin to glints of sunlight on the surface of a large body of water or the rays of sunshine shining upon us.

Fractal of Omniscience. “Spiral Sister”🌀Observer & Perceiver of Energy & Wisdom from Nature. Empath|Author|Connector|Speaker|Singer.❤️🦋🌀🎼〰️🙏🔥☯️

A bit about me, your Spiral Sister

I would love to speak at your bookstore, crystal shop, acupuncture / chiropractor office, or other holistic / natural fair or festival. I support healthy lifestyle businesses. For information on ALL of my books, visit my Amazon Author page.

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice, Energy of Receiving, and author of the captivating Blue Eyes: Ethereal Messages of Connection as well as the incredibly helpful 2nd edition of Have Yourself a Wholly Vibrant Life: Reversing Asthma and Other Chronic Illness Naturally.

Be the best version of who you want to be–who your soul beckons you to be. It’s important because who you are in this world affects us ALL. We Are All Connected.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Connecting…

I’m on Rumble now! https://rumble.com/v28jhyo-about-control.html

For more about observations, dreams, and fractals, follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/takeonyour

July 23, 2022August 13, 2023 Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey Connections, Expanding Consciousness, Spirit

Grief: Ebb and flow (when loved ones pass away)

Grief can be so perplexing… for US, yes, we’re sad. It’s tragic. Often inexplicable. The loss. The gap we feel between when they were here in the physical with us. Then, we can reach for this thought, this sense, that our loved one is in a better place.

But believing (or knowing) is academic and doesn’t necessarily help us change our FEELINGS.

During bewildering times, our feelings can feel:

Mysterious
In a fog
Off putting
In a daze
Off kilter
Or like we’re off balance

It can feel like TIME has sped up or slowed way, way down.

I’ve had to sit with my emotions, in bewilderment, anger, frustration, and confusion during the last couple of weeks in regard to “the letting go” of my first cousin, but also due to the circumstances surrounding his murder. And I don’t want to sit in that upset.

I’ve consciously been working on ways to move through these feelings.

I’ve chosen to work through my grief and look INSIDE of myself as to what makes me put such an emphasis upon “justice.”

Again, as I’ve learned earlier this year:

Feel it. Cry. Let the Energy in motion (emotion) move THROUGH you (not get stuck).

You are loved. So loved. As I’ve said before, we really probably never know how much we’re loved (because most of us don’t love ourselves). But because we are loved, I believe blessings can come INTO us from above, below, beside, outside, and inside.

I believe and sense that collective hearts are with us.

Any perceived loss of life, feels like loss for ALL of us, as I ponder the quote from my dear, minister uncle, here.

Feeling it, the sadness of separation

When a loved one transitions, it is probably an exhilarating and exuberant ride for them into the Grand glorious Beyond, but for US… UGH! It can cause us to feel BIG sadness, and go through stages of grief.

I’m no different than you. I am human and feel all the same emotions, especially when I’m under stress or experiencing turbulent times. I have learned tips and tricks for easing negative emotions, but these are all practices and none bypass or “stuff” the emotions. I believe feeling the need for justice is part of the human experience.

Previous post: https://sheilamurrey.net/2022/07/17/in-memory-of-my-younger-tender-hearted-first-cousin-joshua-wilson/

Omniscience God sees you

Omniscience, an Ever-Living, Ever-Conscious, Ever-Expanding, Ever-Pulsing, Ever-BEing… Energy… Nothing (no thing) happens outside of Omniscience. Therefore, WE are ALL enveloped by Omniscience. And WE are ALL so LOVED!!

We are sorry for your pain.

We are with you in spirit.

There is Limitless, Infinite Love available for you.

You are never really ever alone.

In ALL directions, Above, and Below, as in Heaven, grounded on Earth, WE are there.

Connected

We Are ALL Connected. Yes! We Are All Connected. That was a phrase I heard as a deep male voice in the middle of the night years ago that started my spiritual journey beyond religion.

Everything Resolves to Gratitude.

❤️🦋🌀〰️🎼☯️🙏☮️😘

Fractals of Omniscience

Fractal of Omniscience. “Spiral Sister”Observer & Perceiver of Energy & Wisdom from Nature. Empath|Author|Connector|Speaker|Singer. ❤️🦋🌀〰️🔥🙏☯️

A bit about me, your Spiral Sister

Be the best version of who you want to be. As it does affect us ALL because We Are All Connected.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

For more about this blog, how I create digital designs, why I wrote a holistic health book, and more, find me on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/takeonyourself/

May 13, 2022 Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey Expanding Consciousness, Metaphysics, Mind-Body, Shared Posts, Spirit

He is better off

Silver Birch was a spirit guide who spoke through Maurice Barbanell
He is better off

September 9, 2021August 12, 2023 Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey Connections, Expanding Consciousness, Holism, Metaphysics, Spirit

With love when your beloved is passing

When your loved one is passing, or has just crossed over to the Grand Beyond, OUR collective hearts are with you, dear one!

Any perceived loss of life, feels like loss for ALL of us, as I ponder a quote from my dear, minister uncle:

The loss of life, no matter how old or young, one minute or 100 years is a loss for us as human beings.

Our consolation is that one day WE will see them, meet them and share with them for all of eternity. For now and hereafter they remain with God in a beautiful realm of peace and love, they are living and growing and experiencing the best of everything. They will have much to tell us and WE to tell them.

I will in no way rush my time, but on the other hand I can’t wait to see what all God has prepared for us and be able to have unlimited learning and exploration and share with all peoples from the beginning of creation.

I firmly believe we will be able to re-remember what it was like before we left that wonderful place before we left to come here. There is so much to look forward to.
Jim Withee

Everybody hurts

We all know when a beloved transitions, what is an exuberant ride for them into the Grand glorious Beyond (it is for them!), yet it can trigger BIG sadness, and any or all stages of grief in us!

We grieve their daily struggles.

We grieve the fact that they are/were not in our daily presence (while some may have been ill while still living in their earthly body).

We, those you see AND those of us you cannot see, lift you spiritually and psychically (those of you in grief or struggle) UP, uplifting ALL in love. Believe that. Know that.

Cry.

Tears can be cleansing. Grief hurts. Release.

We are lifting you UP, IN, OUT and THROUGH in big ole ACTIVE prayer 🙏 believing always (in ALL ways!) for your better health, healing, and vitality!! For your highest good. For your wholeness.

It is possible for you to LISTEN and witness another’s grief, upset, without getting energetically sucked in.

Big God

HUGE!

One might even say, Omniscience God (like I do)! 💕

In considering Omniscience, as an Ever-Living, Ever-Conscious, Ever-Expanding, Ever-Pulsing, Ever-BEing… Energy… WE KNOW nothing (no thing) happens outside of Omniscience. Therefore, WE are ALL enveloped by Omniscience. And WE are ALL so LOVED!!

And if you misstep, don’t worry. As soon as you see, become aware, of the misstep, shore up your footing, and simply start again. Be kind to yourself.

Like a toddler learning to walk, you can do this. It is ALL practice.

On loss

When it feels like the world is turning in slow motion…
Honor the memory of those not in your day-to-day present moment, in any way that feels right to you, Now.
Get back into your body, exercise and move.

Sometimes we experience loss, not only when we lose a loved one to the so-called death process, but when we lose a job or home. Any change in our daily routine can set us up to FEEL loss.

Please know your feelings are natural, even when your perceptions are only based on your physical senses (or illusions). It is natural to grieve. Yet, you don’t need to get stuck there.

I’m not merely sorry for your loss (which always sounds callous to me when people say that), I am sorry for your grief. I don’t think grief is good. I know tears can be cleansing, but sh*t. Grief hurts.

There is Limitless, Infinite Love available for you.

You are never really ever alone.

Reach for us. Whisper our names. WE are with you.

Whatever WE can do, our intentions are to do for you while you are going through sad times.

Know WE are there for you in spirit.

In ALL directions, Above, and Below, as in Heaven, grounded on Earth, WE are there.

We are ALL One

Speak love to the 100 trillion cells of your body.

Feel our presence, Now.

WE are ONE.

If you are upset about anything, or in grief (like me), or have read / viewed things that got your dander up, (especially things that call out “unifying” as bad—even if you are already balancing and lifting that), we can work through it together.

I am breathing with you ALL.

We Are ALL Connected.

Everything Resolves to Gratitude.❤️

In, around, and through. Big Love. Hugs!

❤️🦋🌀〰️🎼☯️🙏☮️😘

A bit about me, your Spiral Sister

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

For more about this blog, how I create digital designs, why I wrote a holistic health book, and more, find me on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

October 25, 2020September 8, 2023 Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey Connections, Expanding Consciousness, Metaphysics, Reviews, Soul, Spirit

Book Review: What Dreams Have Come

A beautiful soul-reaching, inspiring, reverent, vulnerable, and enlightening read!

What Dreams Have Come is an excellent book! I read it within 24 hours, as it is highly engaging, elegantly, and lovingly written!

Intimately personal

Film producer, co-founder of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, and author, Stephen Simon, with his beloved wife Lauren (who gently crossed over to the Grand Beyond in her sleep), provides us ALL the opportunity to gain a sense of the “Other Side,” while welcoming us into their personal lives (by sharing the synchronicities of how they met, including family photos, and intricate details).

Over the years of seeing Stephen host the monthly DVD Spiritual Cinema Circle, we felt we had gotten to know him, personally. And he would often speak of Lauren and all the work she did for the Circle. We also felt Connected to Stephen and Lauren through their posts on Facebook. But never did I feel as privy to their innermost thoughts as I have sensed from reading this book. If eyes are the windows to the soul, then books such as these are doors to the heart.

Intertwining honor and love

Stephen and Lauren lovingly crafted a book rich in story that graciously includes the ways they honored and cared for each other (and continue to), as well as demonstrate the ways in which they highly value inclusivity (by bringing us in and honoring their family, neighbors and friends—including my favorite spiritual author).

Emotionally stirring

I cried, laughed, and yes, had jaw-drop moments while reading, What Dreams Have Come. I resonated with much of Stephen and Lauren’s candor and playfulness. (And not to give anything away, but my husband and I often recite our favorite movie lines to each other too!)

There were the touching moments of serendipity and synchronicity built into the way Stephen and Lauren met, and noted all the way through their marriage. The way they shared their pain and triumphs were inspiring to me.

I also really loved the end of the book—totally thrilling! And of course, this is not the end of a love and life together for the Simons.

UPDATE: Please listen to Stephen Simon’s interview with Allison Dubois: Interview

In summary

This book is soul-reaching, and deeply inspiring. It is reverent, vulnerable, and enlightening. I’m in awe of what Love can do—in ALL ways.

Pick up a copy

Buy it here. It is available as a paperback and on Kindle (so you can read on your smartphone).

A bit about me, your Spiral Sister

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

For more about this blog, how I create digital designs, why I wrote a holistic health book, and more, find me on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

May 9, 2019September 30, 2023 Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey Connections, Expanding Consciousness, Soul

What do you do after?

After a loved one passes away, transitions to the Grand Beyond, and has their Continuation Day? How long do we mourn? What else is there to do? Well, I grieved, yes. But fairly soon after my daddy died, an awareness came upon me. And of course I had that vision, so that soothed my mind and calmed my emotions.

Good grief

How can grief be good? Who the hell came up with that old adage? Ugh! I have cried and cried, but at some point I realized, I couldn’t change anything. So, why all the tears? What good was that doing? Okay, I was processing my emotions and letting them out. That’s helpful perhaps. I was cleansing my body by the act of crying. But why was I crying?

Guilt

I can’t change anything in the past. I can’t spend anymore time with my parents (in the physical), or talk with them anymore. So, because of that, because there is no more time to sit with my mom or dad, I feel guilty for not visiting them more, for not listening to them more, and for not taking more of their wise advice. I feel guilty for a lot of things. However, as I allow those feelings to flow over and through my mind and body, washing my heart center, I realize those are simply my thoughts (my perceptions) of situations that occurred in the past. Past hurts were previously discussed (in many cases, YEARS ago) and lovingly forgiven, so there’s no practical need for my mind to rethink on those times now. I have learned that regret is simply an action of the mind. I don’t know if anyone really understands why the mind does that, but I think most people’s minds go through those gyrations.

Eternal Gratitude

As I sit NOW in this time and space, I feel utter and thorough GRATITUDE for ALL. Ahh, the Eternal Gratitude! My beautiful parents gave me sooo many priceless gifts! They created ME! They gave me life, breath, and were my most important teachers! And as much as I love, speak and write about them, no amount of words can begin to describe the immense gratitude I FEEL. Ahh!! I am so glad that both of my parents knew I loved them. Oh, how glad I am that we always told each other, “I love you” and “hugs & kisses” each time we talked!

Learning

We learn through the mistakes, miscommunications, fault-finding, pain, and more. And we learn humility. We learn grace. We learn that we can’t take anything with us when we transition from this life. And how many of us think that day will never come. But, it will.

Time

We count it and think we can keep it. We say our watches are time keeping. For some, our Continuation Day will come too soon. For nearly everyone, it will come unexpectedly.

Shine

In every moment, are we exposing our best selves to each other? Are we a shining light?

Stones to Diamonds What’s the difference between the diamond and the rock? Pressure. ❤️🦋🌀 And the cutting. Look how the skillfully cut diamond SHINES!!! From stones to diamonds, pressure over time makes the difference. Do we buckle and cry under pressure, or grow stronger emotionally?

In loving memory

Let’s enjoy (IN joy) each other. Let’s enjoy each moment. No moments are wasted. All bring value. Let’s talk. Laugh. Video conference. Take the road trip. And fly to new lands! It is easier, and feels better, to release the grief and celebrate in Gratitude. Eternally. Hugs and kisses!! ❤️🦋🌀🙏💋 UPDATE: Less than 24 hours after posting this, I received an email with words that eloquently summarize:

Ah, I love this BIG WINK from the Universe today, from Ram Giri Braun (my first guru teacher, whose teachings continue to live on… thank you. Namaste. OM) ❤️🦋🌀

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

A bit about me, your Spiral Sister

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

For more about this blog, how I create digital designs, why I wrote a holistic health book, and more, find me on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

March 8, 2016May 24, 2025 Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey Connections, Soul, Spirit

Walking more than a mile in another’s moccasins

In another’s moccasins

Making judgments

My grandmother (of Cherokee Native American Indian descent) often said,

Never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.

And apparently, as a child, those words soaked into me and became my mantra. And I became an empath. Or perhaps, I was born an empath and her words resonated with me and validated my nature. Either way, in my experience, being empathic has been like living on both edges of a sword.

Never judge. Until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins

I’ve realized my life’s path has had me walk more than a mile in my mom’s moccasins–and also in my dad’s shoes. And I’m tired. Yet, profoundly grateful I’ve had such a multitude of experiences to learn so much.

No matter how many times I’ve pondered the heartache, the gut-wrenching, soul-shaking, events of my childhood–that I’ve recreated (knowingly or not) in my adult life, with some incredibly outlandish desire to FIX–I eventually cane to a knowing that I can’t fix anyone else. And I’m glad I figured that out before I met my third husband!

No one can fix anyone else.

Just like that old joke,

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb has to want to be changed.

Repeating patterns

Unfortunately, even my children picked up the yoke of this dastardly twisted need to fix others, as they’ve fallen into some of the same relationship woes as I. And fortunately, all of us are in healthy relationships presently! Thank Limitless God we’ve all awakened from the lure of this whole “fixing” trap!

So, why am I writing this piercing note in the middle of the night?

Because I promised my daughter, if I accomplish one thing on this planet while I’m alive this time around, it is to break the “lather, rinse, and repeat” cycle of fixing–for my granddaughters. And all of my writing (both online and in books) is to ultimately leave earth-bound knowledge for my grandchildren. Of course, if any of these words help others, that’s icing on the proverbial cake!

You see, I never knew Divine LOVE, until I held my first granddaughter in my arms. She (Jennifer Ann), means more to me than I could describe.

What can I deduce from this new found comprehension of having walked all of these miles, in my mother’s, and yes, some in my father’s moccasins?

That life’s not been easy. But, it was never my job to work out their issues.

Tempted to complain

My “love of my life” husband and I picked up a saying this past year that goes,

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

And whenever I start to complain about something that doesn’t really belong to me–someone else’s drama–my hubby will pop that quote out to me. I love him so much for bringing things like that to my attention! He knows the empath in me often gets sucked into other’s drama, because I always feel that I can help ease their pain–somehow.

The Universe presented us with that very same phrase while we were enjoying our big outdoor annual Awakening Into The Sun festival! My friend Mary Ann, owner of Awakened Fibers had a handmade wall hanging with the words, “Not my circus, not my monkeys” embroidered on it! How fun!

Not my problem

And as if that wasn’t enough, a few minutes later while visiting with Dr. Alison J. Kay, her assistant, Brenda, told us a new phrase that fully resonated with me. It was,

You’ve heard it said to get your ducks in a row? But, they were never your ducks.

My goodness! What if the stuff I had taken on (for years), all of those “other people’s problems”, were never my ducks? I never needed to get any “ducks” in a row to straighten out my parents issues. Who did I think I was to feel burdened to do that? Ugh! And now you see why I am tired. Tired of carrying the emotional baggage of others–it was never my stuff to carry!

On the upside, I’ve had a successful (nearly thirty year) career (out of the need to walk in my dad’s technical “know-how” shoes). And after wanting a pair of real honest-to-God moccasins for years, I finally got some, and I’ve been wearing them everyday.

Wearing moccasins daily, I feel every pebble under my feet as I walk. And I love that! I’m constantly mindful that each challenge in life is as the grain of sand that produces a pearl in an oyster!

My daily walks provide me with the benefit of grounding daily, and the knowing that the wearing of these moccasins, physically brings my grandmother’s saying directly into my body—making her words experiential—instead of it just hanging around in my head like some mystical cloud.

So, yes, there are always positives. I know this. Why does it have to take some of us so long to figure things out?

Oh, because we’re programmed as children. Culturally, socially, and if you were raised in a religious faith, you (and I) were programmed. I’m glad I figured that out!

Cut the cords

Now, energetically at least, I’ve cut the cord of all of this for my granddaughters.

Here and now I state, my grandchildren will not have to take any historical family burdens upon themselves. They can be self-filled. Self-motivated. They can help others as they choose. Free spirits! They can care for themselves first, without guilt. They can choose to do what they love! They do not have to repeat the sins of their parents, or of mine. They do not need to try and figure anything out. The past is the past and it is abSOULutely done.

I have broken this chain of fools.

Be here now. ❤️🦋🌀🙏☀️🌱

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice,” “Energy of Receiving”, plus author of “Blue Eyes: Ethereal Messages of Connection,” and holistic health book that details how I naturally reversed asthma, “Have Yourself a Wholly Vibrant Life: Reversing Asthma and Other Chronic Illness Naturally” all available on Amazon.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

For more about me, this blog, how I create websites, why I wrote a holistic health book, and more, find me on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

October 24, 2015August 11, 2023 Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey Connections, Spirit

Playing the “blame game” – climbing the emotional guidance ladder to a better feeling place

Playing the blame (guilt) game, ugh! But, I am where I am (as Abraham says) so, it’s gotta be okay. I am where I am in the middle of dis-ease, or grief, or shame, or self-loathing, or x-y-z, but, I am where I am and it’s okay. Why is it okay? Because I am where I am and I’ve got no other choice. Except to consciously take steps to improve my feelings, and reach a better feeling place. I want to feel better. I know it’s possible, but in “this moment”, my “now”, I am where I am!

I thought it might help me (and maybe others reading this who unfortunately fall into grief and despair), if I write down a couple of ways I worked through my pain over putting my beloved (almost 14 year old) best furry friend, Lou-Lou’s Beau “down”. (By the way, why the hell do they call it “putting him/her down” anyway? I think it should be “released” because my intention was to release him from his pain! Ugh!

I also do EFT tapping using these statements which, helps to calm me and provide emotional relief. So here we go. Abraham (from the book, “Ask and It Is Given” state there are 22 groups of emotions one can be in, in any point in time. #22 is the lowest vibration, the bottom of the list. The lowest of the lows. So that’s where I start. Not to wallow, but you gotta start somewhere and that’s where I was the day I let Beau “go”.

The intention of “Ask and It Is Given” is to help us locate where we are, what state we’re in emotionally, at any given point, and move UP to a better feeling place on the list. The following are my words, using their numbering scale. I am not plagiarizing – but if you follow their list, you’ll see where I’m getting the terms from. Also, this is going to take awhile, so you may want to check back in a week or so to see how I’m doing, as my intention is to climb the emotional guidance ladder to a better feeling place.

22) I can find all kinds of reasons to feel guilty at this point (and I am talking “to” Beau at this point):

I could have researched more about your eye problem;
I could have had your eye removed;
I could have changed my mind, at any point, during the last year and a half regarding, “no more surgery” on you, after you had the kidney / bladder stone surgery.
Stupid insensitive me held a belief, for some reason, that you shouldn’t have any more surgeries. Why?!? That was a limiting belief! Ugh!
I was so afraid you couldn’t take another surgery. You’re older, you aren’t strong enough (Who the hell am I to judge that?)
I’ve bought other things this year that I could have spent that money on you instead. You were much more important to me!!
I could have spent every waking moment with you, instead of going shopping, or going to a class, or working! (Okay, really?)
I miss you so much! I hurt because you are not here! I miss holding you, caring for your eyes, taking you to the groomer, feeding you, and walking with you!
You were powerless and I feel horrible that you tried to tell me what to do but I didn’t listen, didn’t realize when you face planted off the couch that you were trying to pop your own eye out to relieve your pain and heal your body! Ugh?
I am in despair that I now have learned that I could have asked one of your previous veterinarian’s to remove your eye! Actually none suggested that to me or we would have done that with the first eye then maybe the second eye would never had gone bad!!
What is the point of living this life when everything / everyone dies eventually?!? This is depressing!
My mom loved you (and Lou-Lou) so much too! She didn’t get to say good-bye to you! Waaaaa!!

21) I am feeling so unworthy of all the trust you placed in me to care for you.

Unworthy of your unconditional love!!! Gasp!
I feel such guilt for not doing ALL I could have for you!
My ignorance should be no excuse!!

20) I am jealous that the neighbor’s dog is probably older than you, but he’s still around!

He seems to be doing fine.
Oh, but he’s a mixed breed.
I never get jealous… but I am in this moment!
Others around us, they seem to be able to “go on living” without any thought about what we’re going through! The nerve! (I know, emotions are not logical!)

19) I feel anger at myself for not doing more! But, how much more could I “really” do?

Anger at the doctors, especially that opthamologist we saw a year a a half ago for not offering the eye removal option!!
They just wanted me to keep bringing you back to them every three months for a refill script / recheck for a compounded eye drop that you’d supposedly need every day of your life (mail order available only from NJ!!). Such bullshit!!

19) I am discouraged that other people and doggies have to go through this trauma too!!

What discourages me is the inevitability of it all!
Why live this life if it’s all so futile?
Look how adorable both you (and Lou-Lou) were back in the day (2008) with my mom!

18) I don’t feel revenge – yet.

Wait, perhaps I do! I think I understand the revenge thing now. I feel that for myself. So, anger turned outward is revenge or spite. But, anger turned INWARD is depression, guilt, or self-loathing.

17) I am angry at myself for not being more bold on your behalf! But, I know you couldn’t live in your physical body forever. Ugh! This anger really feels strong in my body. I think yes, anger turned inward, to myself, causes depression, sadness, and pain.

16) I am discouraged.

I am disheartened that you suffered needlessly for months, (Gasp!) God forbid, more than a year!!
I am utterly discouraged with some of the veterinarian’s we went to over the years.
What about the guy who told me you just had “old doggy eye”. Jesus! Was he for real?
Then the next doctor, who I really liked, when I told him what the previous doctor had said, did not disagree with him, but did suggest more medications for you. And that I should take you to an opthamologist, which I did.
I am discouraged for others, that they’ll have to find a way, and figure this stuff out – even while their doggies (or cats) suffer needlessly. Why can’t we just “know” it all? Why can’t we go to one person, Google it, or read a book to find out?
Why all of this time seemingly wasted on the “trying” to figure it out?

15) I blame myself for your pain.

I will never trust myself to ever have another pet.
I am horrible! Besides, I could never replace YOU!
You were my best boy and best doggy EVER. Period!
This is the worst ever feeling!
I am so sorry Beau!!!
I trusted professionals to help (oh, maybe now I feel vengeful?) the experts should have given us the option a year ago to have your eye removed!

14) I am worried if I did the right thing in “releasing” you.

My adult children (thank you sweet ones) have comforted me, saying I did, but I have all of these questions racing through my mind. Angst!
I almost never worry, but I am holding my worry finger (as I learned in Jin Shin Jyutsu) so I must be worried.
I feel the need to harmonize my worry over your suffering.
You almost never showed discomfort! But that didn’t mean you didn’t feel discomfort! Oh Beau! My best boy!

13) Doubt. Didn’t what I just say, show how much doubt I am in? Doubt and worry seem so tightly joined!

I doubt that I did the right thing (releasing you from your physical body), and then I doubt that I waited too long to do it!
I can’t make up my mind at all when I am in doubt.
I am mentally running to and fro!
This is sickening!
I cannot allow myself to stay in doubt for too long. I will make my stomach upset. I will make myself crazy… okay I might already be on “that train”. Hmmm
I doubt that I’ll get “your” ashes back, and what would I do with them anyway?
I doubt that your physical remains will comfort me. I took a lock of your fur – that comforts me a little.
I doubt I’m going to feel any better today.

12) I am so ridiculously disappointed in myself.

I should have known better, and not stopped researching until I totally resolved your eye issues.

Why? Because I recall a dog trainer I had taken Lou-Lou to for several weeks, years ago told me, “The dog is this tall, but you are this tall! You can see things and make the choice to avoid them!” Truer words have never been spoken. Even if you are five feet tall, you are taller than your dog and can navigate them through life.

11) I am overwhelmed by sadness.

I seem to cry at the drop of a hat.
I look at your picture on my desk at work, and I cry.
I start to talk about you to someone, and I cry.
But I am starting to see that sometimes, I don’t cry.
And that makes me know that I am definitely reaching, trying to find, a better feeling place – even if just for a few seconds or minutes in between thoughts of you.
Thoughts of missing you so very much.
I was overwhelmed with responsibilities and did not place you in a higher priority of concern.
I am overwhelmed by the love and support of my family and friends during this time (though I do not feel deserving of it).

10) I am frustrated and irritated with the way I handled, or failed to appropriately handle my grief. Okay though, that’s one reason I am working through the emotions via this blog.

Oh, a few people attempted to encourage me out of my sadness, but yes, that just irritated me more!

9) I guess I am being quite pessimistic right now, never wanting another pet.

8) I sense boredom is around the corner for me.

But wait, I’ve got a ton of pictures of you that I can share. And I found where I had made a Daily Puppy page for you years ago — HERE.

And, the author of a book I am editing offered me her sincere words of compassion when she emailed me:

“Your beautiful and precious dog will be by your side forever more.” Thank you my dear, Lela Starseed.

7) Will I ever feel content again? You used to make me feel content when you would lay on the couch with me!

6) Will I ever feel hopeful again? I hope you are running, jumping, and playing in your Spirit ethereal body that is whole and new!!

On the day of your release, our new vet told me that you’d meet Lou-Lou again at the Rainbow Bridge (and we laughed for a moment, that you may not want to!) then I said, “Beau, look for your tall white dog friend!”
A couple days later, I’m calling in my family who passed, to find you.
I remember when I was a child, other kids would say, “don’t have a pity party”, during times when I displayed sadness. I also know self pity can be self destructive. How can we balance all of these feelings, when Recovery groups tell us we must allow ourselves to “feel our feelings”?
I know I need to move out of, rise above, the feelings of sadness about Beau.
I am hopeful that as, We Are All Connected, you have reconnected with my family who loved you too! Oh… this is how I can reach for hopeful feelings! This is hope!

5) Everything I have learned about ‘life after death’ tells me, ANYTHING is possible!

I can feel optimism for you when I visualize you with a big white dog!
Was it an English Setter that you fell so in love with?
I have been researching this, and asking others, because I am still trying to pull myself, consciously, up this list (to feel better)!

4) I am attempting to reach for thoughts of positive expectation, to believe you live on – somewhere.

While visualizing you crossing over the Rainbow Bridge, I see you dancing for a big white dog!
Perhaps, you’re even frolicking!?!
I focus on the fact that you’re no longer suffering.
I know you’re out of pain.

3) Oh, how in the world can I be happy? How can I feel enthusiasm / eagerness again – about anything?

I know that “life goes on”. I don’t like it, so now, I’m back to #9.
I know the emotional guidance system is not linear. I will go up and down this ladder many times over – for as long as it takes.
I know you’re out of pain.

2) I know passion is out there. In my future.

I remember the passion I had when you first came into my life. How small you were!
I remember sweetly, what it felt like to nurture, train, feed, bathe, and care for you.

1) I know joy is out there. In my future, I will remember how much joy you brought me. Those memories will have to sustain me, because you’re no longer here! Sniff!!! Tear. I miss you so very much! But somehow, I will smile again when I think of you. Someday, I will smile and not get a tear in my eye.

Because I will ALWAYS appreciate having had you in my life.
Because I know how to empower myself, to reach for better feeling thoughts, via multiple emotional healing modalities – yes, even at the lowest of times.
Because I know you’re FREE! You’re experiencing FREEDOM. Oh, sweet ultimate freedom!
I am grateful, so beautifully grateful, to have experienced your love, and to have loved you!
Beau came to show me that Lou-Lou loved me unconditionally too, but in a different way. She just expressed unconditional love differently than him!
Remembering the wonderful way my beautiful granddaughter would say, “Awe!” When I would lift Beau to the camera to say hello to her when we would Google Hangout or Skype. She would say that with such a compassionate voice, just like she knew how he was feeling, or just because as a child, she loves furry creatures. I don’t know, but it warms my heart to recall how she said it.
Talking with a friend and relating a memory about a time when we were walking and someone yelled at me to get Beau away from their grass, I looked up at the sky and exclaimed, “thank you Beau! I will never have to go through that again!”
All of this knowledge, it is helping me to feel better. And I am open to receive more knowledge.

UPDATE 25-Oct-2015: Just when I had begun, and I do mean “begun” to feel I’d worked through all of my feelings (figured out how to get all the way to number one on the emotional guidance scale… I slid right back down to #15 (at least) and started crying when my beautiful little four year old granddaughter asked to “see Beau” while we were on video conference tonight! Damn, where was my emotional balance that had begun to feel better? It all went to shit, and fast. I had to jump right back on here and read my list again!!

UPDATE 27-Oct-2015: My wonderfully supportive husband put a big picture of you (Beau) on our iMac desktop. When I sat down at the computer and touched it, lighting up the desktop to reveal your picture, I gasped, “Oh, Beau!” and then, “Oh, thank you hubby! What beautiful thing to do!” It was this close-up of Beau taken about six or seven years ago. He was in perfect health! But, I started to cry…

UPDATE 28-Oct-2015: I don’t know what happened. But, when I came home from work today (after having my Pilates workout), I signed onto the computer, saw Beau’s close-up picture and I smiled! Yes, finally! It’s been a week now after his passing and I can actually smile and think of GOOD memories when I see his picture. This is wonderful progress back to my normal emotionally balanced set point. We went to dinner also, and I was able to show the picture I took of the computer desktop, 1) to give my husband props for doing this, and 2) to show off Beau. He’s such a cutie. I was able to talk about him and not cry. I still miss him, and yes, I catch some emotion in my throat when I go to plug my phone in, near where his water bowl was, but I am letting go of the overwhelming emotions.

A week later I still cry when I look at his picture (not every time, but often). So, why? Because I miss him!

I still feel guilt about not doing more sooner to alleviate his infection / illness. (even guilt about perhaps I should have put him down sooner!)

I could allow myself to feel guilty about EVERYTHING to do with his ill health but, in reality, I know I tried. As my kids and I have discussed many times, we can only do the best we can about anything at any given time based on the information we understand at the time.

I must give myself a break.

UPDATE 1-Nov-2015: I updated this post with pictures of Beau. After meditating yesterday, doing a journeying process at Alania’s studio, I am, just this morning, able to go through all of the pictures and videos I have of Beau (and Lou-Lou) and find special ones to share — without crying. I am finally, now, at a point where I have some emotional balance about everything that happened. All of the good, the utter joy of having Beau in my life, and the not-so-good stressful times… during his ills.

I wrote a eulogy for Beau, a little at a time, during the ‘decision’ time. I shared it on Facebook then, but not here — until now. This is the link to it — HERE.

UPDATE 7-Nov-2015: My dad and mom have a mixed breed who had puppies three months ago. When we visited, my dad really wanted me to have one of the three puppies. I just couldn’t do it. Too many reasons. One, it was just too soon. And two, I still don’t know if I ever want another. But, I know it might be the last gift my parents are able to give me. Ugh! And yes, the puppies are oh, so cute! There is a black, brown, and reddish colored one – she’s the smallest. Adorable! Almost a Yorkie. Then a snow white one, a bit bigger. She’s also a girl. What a princess. All of their personalities are similar to Beau’s. Quite docile. Then a beige or light golden boy. He is the largest of the three, just a bit smaller than his mom and all three are three months old. How much bigger will they get? My son put an ad on Craig’s list. We sat there all afternoon meeting with would be “parents”. One young man took Princess home, bathed her, only to return her awhile later. His girlfriend did not agree in their having a second dog. But awhile later, she was adopted by another young couple. We were glad to be able to meet and visit with each adopting couple, so we knew they were going to good homes. The next morning, after I left, my son let me know the third, the golden boy, was also adopted by an older married couple. Ah! Because when I had left he was giving me those “eyes” like,
Why aren’t you taking me?” — that broke my heart.

At any rate, that day, I talked with my dad and he said the mommy, Sunday, was still crying and looking for her puppies. Had they waited too long to let the puppies go?

UPDATE 10-Nov-2015: Dad called me and was still upset about all the puppies being gone and said Sunday is still crying for them. I am at a loss except that I think perhaps I should send Sunday a nice stuffed animal to have. I also researched and found that when we (the people) are still upset, the dogs will pick up on our feelings and display similar emotions.

UPDATE 11-Nov-2015: I Google Hangout with my granddaughter and show her my two stuffed doggies that my husband bought me years ago, that resemble our Beau (and Lou-Lou). She seemed really happy that I had them, and she accepted my short story about Beau crossing the Rainbow bridge and being healthy and happy now. And that he had left us these “replicas” of them for us to remember them by. I still have my moments when I cry. But, I know that in the big scheme of things, that’s okay.

So, yes this has all definitely been a process. The goal was to be able to reach for any of the thoughts higher than #11 I guess, in order to be in a so-so kind of minimum good feeling place about Beau not being here anymore. Obviously, being at #1 or #2 all the time (about his not being here in the physical realm) was something, at that time, I never thought could happen. But, some of those thoughts, along with most of the thoughts being in the good feeling range, eventually helped me overcome the feeling of wanting to burst into tears when anyone asked about him, or when I would see another Shih-Tzu that looks like him, etc.

I have talked with others who have told me they still cry, years later, about the loss of their pet. And as an empath, I feel very deeply. I knew if I could figure out a way, or at least, “allow” myself the space to exist where I could attempt to feel better, it would help me, emotionally. Holding onto hurt, loss, guilt, grief, and all of those painful feelings can cause dis-ease in the body (which, I want to avoid if possible).

I hope others can benefit (at least a little bit) from my process. Love and many blessings to all (furry and human).