Otter: Gratitude rant

Questioning

How do I stay in gratitude?

How I stay in gratitude every day since embarking on the citrus diet where I’ve been eating a grapefruit and oranges tangelos tangerines every day for 30 days.

Now, I’m beyond the 30 day period.

I’ve noticed that while I peel the grapefruit and I peel the orange by scoring them and then hand peeling them over the trashcan, I remembered that my dad is the one that taught me how to peel an orange. And the memory of that brings me to a place of gratitude.

Also, when I wash the knife that I scored the orange with when I wash out my bowl, the one particular stoneware bowl that I tend to use every day multiple times a day that’s the rewashing before each serving of food or each preparation to serve the bowl of food. I have to wash it and I do this over the sink. I wash it by hand and as I’m washing I’m meditating I’m bringing my my mind to a neutral point and breathing and then a thought will drop in. And typically, at least today, it was the thought of my mom, when she would wash dishes. She would talk she would talk to herself and she did this for many years.

In fact, most of my life I remember my mother standing at the kitchen sink, washing dishes and talking to herself sometimes it was imperceptible, the volume of her speech was so low. Dad and I used to joke and poke fun at her (for which I am soooo sorry about now), and she would kind of make a gesture. I can only describe her gesture as as a mixture of blowing off what we would say and frustration that we didn’t understand her. She did tell me in later years that she would was praying or talking with those that had gone before. I didn’t ever really connect that mom may have been talking to spirits, but I did sense that she was putting her doubts or worries emotions out there for God or the angels or whomever was listening.

Certainly, dad and I were not listening to mom’s murmurings. And now, where gratitude comes in from that thought is that (crying) mom had the words then… she was able to articulate and communicate her thoughts and feelings and ideas! Ugh! Because (whether you know this or not), later in mom’s life, she lost her ability to speak, or say much anyway. Mom lost the ability to formulate the words and move her mouth in such a way to be able to make words would come out.

Mom would try to speak. So, she had some mind left. And I watched this. I watched my mother decline and her vocal ability deteriorate over the last two to three years of her life. And in particular the last visit with her before she passed. But I will never know how much of mom’s mind was still alive and functioning, or how much wasn’t.

The few months before mom crossed over she was down to only having the use of about 10 words. Mom would use the same 10 words over and over and over to describe a variety of things. She would point to things and use the word thing or baby and that was it. Or baby was the name (noun) for everything. But mom remembered the words beautiful, wonderful and such, as her descriptions or descriptors (adjectives). I had always offered that instead of worrying, mom could think on all the lovely, beautiful, and wonderful things. And I believe what thoughts she had were on those kinds of things.

Thus, when I had these thoughts while washing dishes I became very grateful. Yes, Gratitude enveloped me. I am sooo grateful to have had the mom I had. The mother who loved and cared for me all the days of my life while she lived.

I am so grateful for all the things my parents taught me.

Do you want to live in that place of gratitude every day?

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

A bit about me, your Spiral Sister

Fractal of Omniscience. “Spiral Sister”🌀Observer & Perceiver of Energy & Wisdom from Nature. Empath|Author|Connector|Speaker|Singer.❤️🦋🌀🎼〰️🙏🔥☯️

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