Why do we feel worthless?

Found this in my Notes and thought I’d share it. After all, it’s a new year. Plus, I read it whenever I sense that I am “out of the vortex.”

Setup

Say the following to get into the vortex (especially when feeling stupid, bad, flawed, or worthless):

And why do we feel worthless???

We are still a work of art in progress!

I (or anyone whom I am talking with at a precise moment in time) might not be in their peak moment of happiness that day, but if I question myself or the other person differently (or ask again another day), I can bring myself/them around/persuade them — to elicit an answer.

We know art is imperfect and we find perfection in the imperfection.

At one previous moment I was unhappy with myself for my lack of discipline and my lack of applying myself. And I said:

Say the following to yourself

Inspired by Abraham-Hicks:

I can do better than I’ve been doing. I want to do better than I’ve been doing. I would say that for the majority of my life I’ve been doing the best I could do from where I was at the time.

All that’s happened to me lately is that I’ve gained some insight and I haven’t been able to change my habits to keep up with my new insights, so I’m being extra hard (or a little bit hard) on myself right now.

All that is happening now is, my resistance hasn’t gotten greater, but rather my awareness of what its like in the vortex has just gotten greater, so my resistance just feels worse. I’m not doing worse, I’m doing better.

I’m actually doing better than I’ve ever done before. No one has ever asked me, and I’m not asking it of myself, to figure it out all at once I realize life’s a journey.

I’m doing just fine. I’d like it to go faster though.

I would like to draw in the people, places, and things to make my life work better. I’d like to apply myself a little bit more deliberately.

I sense that I’ve been shooting myself in the foot because I’ve sort of been trying too hard. I get it now – that to take action and make something happen before I’ve gotten into a better feeling place is counter productive.

If I’ve been guilty of anything, I’ve been guilty of wanting too much! But I can’t ask for less than what I know I have come to be, or accomplish.
I have been wanting more than I have been in a vibrational place to allow. And now that I know how to shift my vibration I’ll do better. Yes!

I’m going to ease up on myself. Take it easy. Have some fun with this!

I’m going to be freer and easier about this. I’m not going to bad mouth myself or anyone. I’m going to give myself a break.

I’ve been working on this. I’ve been diligent. I am getting better. I know Source is within me. Source is as close to me as my breath. Source lives in me! I know Source is calling me. I feel the vibration of Source often — GodBumps!

I know I can do this. I’m looking forward to doing this. I’m going to get in the vortex on a regular basis. I like doing this. I like the idea of being in the vortex.

I can feel clarity flowing through. I’m far from being worthless, I’m actually very valuable to others.

I love being in the vortex!

What to do

Now write this again from the negative place of martyrdom, feeling the need to work hard, sacrifice for others or for old age, etc.

I judge and resent another because they have no work ethic, no sense of fair play, don’t follow the rules, and no team player! Why??

Because I was raised to play fair, nice, work hard and when I didn’t, when I slipped up, I got in trouble, didn’t get a raise, etc. in fact I am still pretty pissed off about it!!

I realize that I have been resentful of those lazy people because I was raised to work hard and achieve. Maybe not over achieve but the vibration is the same.

One example

In one particular situation (because we are observers, aren’t we), I had almost gotten over it (after watching someone get away with not showing up for work, being hours late, etc. for THREE years), I was sick one week and took a Monday off.

I had pushed my limits to work three 10 hour days, which meant I was at work til 4:30-5pm. On that Tuesday, I didn’t see that someone at all and I was at work til 5pm. Thursday, I saw that person come in at 4:30. Yet, I observed that individual put down 8 hours for each of the five days this week on their timecard!!!

The person came in only to attend the Tech Writer meeting, saw I wasn’t there, came back to get their notebook, and upon seeing me, asked if I was coming to the meeting! I snapped about being sick and said person walked away.

Less than five minutes later, my then boss, came to talk with me and I totally confronted her about it and explained that I had sent an email. I was not going to attend and No, means No.

After the meeting was over, the always late person was gone before 1pm and never came back.

I saw this happen again the week before I received my new AND BETTER job offer — and I didn’t allow it to bother me! It had bothered me long enough by then!

How long is enough?

Maybe that is really the question.

How long do we allow are observations to affect us in a negative way?

Five years later

Yes! Now, I will join. I will speak up.

I will share.

I show respect, love, kindness, and compassion to all — even the ones (whom some aspects of ME do not like, actually abhor).

Jesus said we are called to “love thine enemies.” For such a time as this. If it was easy, everyone would do it.

I know the road is narrow for those of us who strive to LOVE during all times.

Know that for every precious one of us who is striving to love, not condemn, not judge, it all matters. Each of us and each of the choices we make, indeed flow into the WHOLE.

We Are All Connected.