Moving from BEing unnerved to experiencing Love

Unnerved

I was completely unnerved!

As a highly sensitive person (HSP) I wanted to stay with my friend at an outdoor cafe and enjoy our visit, but a roaring motorcycle went by and the noise overwhelmed me!

I lost touch with the truth of who I am. I got rattled. I almost picked up my stuff and left, as I was quite literally… BESIDE MYSELF!

Beside myself
Beside myself

A fuller version of the story:

I had arrived 10 minutes early to Ionie’s cafe in Sarasota, Florida on a beautiful Saturday afternoon (Jan. 17th, 2015)– a week after my birthday.

A dear friend and I had previously agreed (earlier that same day) to meet at 1pm there and though she is usually early, she wasn’t on this particular day. I don’t state this to judge, only to establish a precursor to my story.

The last time we had met there, we sat outside and I was prepared to sit outside, but when I arrived I noticed that both outdoor deck tables were full so, I proceeded inside to find a table. It was a fairly busy time there.

My friend arrived a few minutes after 1 (I did not note the exact time because I had been relaxing, listening to the peaceful music and drinking a beet juice drink and water).

As she arrived, we said hello and hugged briefly and she asked if we could sit outside. I told her the tables were full and she said, she’d seen an empty one on the way in (possibly so, things change of course). I said “There wasn’t one available when I came in”, and that I preferred to stay inside (I don’t know why, perhaps because I’d become comfortable). Having none of that however, my friend went back outside to hold the table and asked our server, if we could move my things out there.

I gave in (another precursor) and just as I sat down outside a VERY loud motorcycle went by and I proclaimed that it was the reason I did not want to sit there. She said, “We sat out here the last time”, and I should have said, “Yes, and I didn’t like it” and “since we sat outside before, let’s try inside today.” After all, I had invited her to join me – as I had been there several times by myself. But, I didn’t. I allowed myself to be manipulated, after all, I love change and am flexible to the desire of others (many times to my detriment though)!

Lessons learned

At any rate, the point of this writing this now is my logical attempt to put words around the experience of the FEELING that overtook me. When that motorcycle went by, I felt as though I was going to come OUT of my skin!! My entire nervous system shook. My hands and legs trembled. I went back inside of the cafe to reclaim the previous table with thoughts in my mind of leaving. But I wanted to preserve the friendship and felt if I reacted in a dramatic way, I might rock the boat. As well, I have written book chapters about “Connections” and “Being open to receive” so I opted within my mind to find a way to overcome my reaction, noting to mySelf in that moment that I may be overreacting.

How it ended

My friend had came back in and tried to reassure me that they had another table out to the side of the building (not on the street) where we could move the chairs from the other outdoor deck table in order to sit in a quieter spot. Thus, compromising (or giving in), we sat under a tree by the parking lot. It was a bit easier on my senses.

I awkwardly explained to her that I needed to calm myself. I sat utterly quiet. I repositioned my chair, made my body comfortable, and breathed for about the count of ten.

After settling in to the new outdoor spot, the conversation we had over the course of 2 hours, was very beautiful, engaging, and I even expressed to her how I was learning to handle events like what had just happened. I had felt my central nervous system was burned out, as I worked in another town (at that time) and had to wear headphones most everyday because of the city and office noise.

An emergency vehicle went by at one point and I expressed (in a bit easier way this time) that this also disturbed me. It mostly aggravated me (I put my fingers in my ears while the siren was sounded) because when they turned off the siren, I took my fingers out of my ears, then they immediately sounded the siren again! Ugh!! I rhetorically asked, “Why can’t they just leave it on until they get to wherever it is they’re going”?

When it was time to leave, we exchanged a hug and my friend genuinely thanked me for sitting outside. And in that moment I knew we would not have had our lovely visit if I had left earlier when I was mad over the initial irritation.

What I learned from this experience

Allowing this moment to be as it is and just be aware of it;

I must always reach for the best feeling thought and comfort myself;

Just breathe;

Touch an acupressure point or focus on one and breathe;

I may not always express or articulate my pain or displeasure appropriately, but I can at least let the person know that I need a few moments to center myself.

Later on that day, I recognized my emotional balance and growth. And that at no point in this experience, which I called an “assault on my senses” did I cry! Even just a year or so prior, I may have cried during, or after the experience, or when I would later recount the story to my husband. Hmmm… change is GOOD!

The next day I found this beautiful interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ9UtuWfs3U

The lotus grow out of mud – you cannot grow a lotus on marble but in mud.

Suffering is mud to grow the flower of understanding and Love.

  • Meditate in every moment
  • Live in the here and now
  • Recite a mantra or not
  • The more people you sit with, the better for collective energy

I offer you the following FOUR mantras you can meditate with:

1) “Darling, I’m here for you”

How can you love if you aren’t there? You are not preoccupied with the past or future.

2) “Darling, I know you are there”

Use this to recognize the existence of the other person.

when your beloved one suffers use the third mantra:

3) “Darling, I know you suffer that is why I am here for you”

Simply your presence can give someone a lift.

Lastly, when you suffer and you believe your suffering has been caused by your beloved one – use the fourth mantra:

4) “Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best to practice Love, please help me.”

❤️🦋🌀

It seems simple.

This is also quite a beautiful lesson:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KopmSpe33Eg

On a deeper level, what really happened?

I learned that I am my perceptions. I learned what the true nature of “I” is.

Listening.

Perceiving.

Observing.

With Attention.

The real me is the “I” that is underneath all of the circumstances of my life.

In the moment of non-thinking is Attention.

Timeless, untouched by time. I before it becomes this or that. Just “I”.

My first guru of the Eastern arts and teacher, Ram Giri Braun, taught me this wonderful mantra in 2008:

“I am loving awareness.”

He said this is not for the mind, this is from Ram Dass. It is not meant to make sense. It’s about feeling something. Get in touch with YOU. Get in touch with the lovable YOU that’s inside of you.

Ram Giri taught me Open Attention and HeartSourcing.

You can learn about that too, here.

On Jan. 31st, 2015 I took a class at Suncoast Jin Shin Jyutsu with Michelle Giambra in Sarasota, FL. At the beginning of the class Michelle stated that, “Synchronicities abound.” And then another lady in the class said, “We love the synchronicities that abound here”! Beautiful!

Note: The first four letters in Michelle’s last name are, “G-I-A-M” like the online TV channel I love GIAM, that later changed their name to GAIA: https://www.gaia.com )

I learned there are ways to hold my body that will calm me, ease tension, and anxiety! Break-throughs!!

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, No Permanent Damage. It’s one of my husband’s tunes – performed and recorded in Nashville, TN. You can download it (it’s Track 4) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb15

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Then POOF and it’s gone

Then POOF it’s gone

Sometimes I wake up at 3am and lay awake in bed for an hour or more, hoping to go back to sleep, but my mind starts to drift. Sometimes I get up and quietly write something on the computer (for my blog, or the book I’ve been writing over the last ten years). Sometimes I meditate, pray, cry, and then meditate some more. Other times I go on a crystal journey (meditating with one or more special crystals near or on my body), which nearly every time takes me on an inward path where I find the gentle solace of a holy place.

Take time

Spiral Energy by Sheila Murrey

My grandfather used to say, “Stop and smell the roses.” Somehow, I feel when I wake up in the middle of the night, it’s because I didn’t take time to smell the roses that day, or if I did, now I’m caught up in the mystery of it ALL. Had I been as fully aware as I could have been in that moment I was smelling the rose? To understand I was standing in the presence of something timeless? Grace washing over me? My thoughts become almost tangible and palpable. As I lay in bed, my heart becomes so open that I think it will leave my body! My huge open heart resonates with a feeling of connection with ALL.

Everything happens for a reason

I believe everything happens for a reason. I cry about things that cannot be changed, about which I feel guilty, or ashamed. Gradually, I let those thoughts go. I remember good times. I remember the friends and family who have transitioned. I miss them. I cry some more. Then, oddly, I begin very slowly, almost like a train steadily slowing as it arrives at a station, to breathe, and allow myself just to psychically embrace each of them. I remember each persons face, what it felt like to be near them, perhaps as we were going somewhere, dancing, talking, or such. I send them my love. I tell them, “Though I miss you fiercely, I know you are in perfect health, wonderful peace, and like the molecules of air around and IN me, you are still near me. And I love you. Thank you. Thank you ever so much dear heart for ALL you gave me. For helping me be who I am NOW.”

Sometimes after a stretch of time, I fall back to sleep. Other times, I write for hours before deciding it’s time to shower and get ready to prepare for my day.

There have been times that the connection I feel to my friends and loved ones, during these middle of the night mental sojourns are so strong, they seem vividly real. But, more often than not, the “visit” is faint, and dissipates into a near whisper. I am imagining, right? I mean, just because it feels real, it cannot be so. Or can it? As I do not limit God, perhaps there is a way to connect and spend time with my loved ones–and I am not only referring to those who have passed on, but even with those who are not living physically near me.

Empty space is not empty

I don’t pretend to know what fills empty space, though the new frontiers of science is finding that what they used to think was empty space, is actually “filled” with “something”–though they do not yet know what. Could that mean that my mystical musings in the middle of the night are when I mysteriously meander through a holy place? It certainly does feel like it’s a sanctuary for me.

Unaware

I’ve learned that when I move too quickly through a day, too caught in all of the “doing”, that I can easily walk by people, places, and things, unaware of the blessings or hidden messages that they might provide. Have I “walked by” people, places, or things, too preoccupied to notice the richness, the magnificence, or the subtle profound vibrations each offer me?

Realizing that I can always STOP, and consciously choose to pay attention to even the smallest of things, my heart dances with joy! I am open!

Heaven on Earth

I actively seek. And I know when we honestly seek, eventually, we will find. I do not need a crown of jewels when I get to Heaven (whatever do people expect to do with those anyway?) but instead, I’d rather trade anxieties for peaceful moments, sadness, feelings of loss, or thoughts of missing those I love most, into balanced emotions, joy, and dare I say, pure bliss NOW–while I’m alive! Isn’t that the true definition of having good mental health?

I go back again and again in my mind to my grandfather’s mantra. Regardless of the season, weather or time of day, I don’t want to miss the roses. When I leave this place, my spirit, mind, and body will have lived fully, changed much, and heartily, truthfully, given as deeply as I knew how–to those who received me.

I speak a mindful thought to someone. Then POOF! And it’s gone.

I would love to introduce you to the Resonance Academy! If you’re interested in Frequency, science, or just how everything is connected in the Universe, I think you’ll want to join the academy with me! Ready, set, click here!

Live and breathe Love & Gratitude 

Thank Omniscience ALLways. OM

For Fun

Check out this original song, Dogma. It’s one of my favorites, written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 1) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb26

A BIT ABOUT ME:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Check out my designs, which you can order in a variety of ways, as: t-shirts, mugs, pillows, phone and tablet cases: http://tee.pub/lic/GcgLVtV76Y8

Be the best version of who you came here to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself