I truly see where I’ve been moving into the 5th density of experience since 2005.
In the beginning
I became aware something profound was happening to me when I started getting GodBumps while talking about Conscious Living, expanding awareness, Christ Consciousness, raw vegan foods, Spirituality, etc. with coworkers. And I have been on a quest to discover “WHY” ever since.
When you really GET Jesus (or the Christ, or Buddha, etc.) you no longer need the church, temple, etc. Going can be invigorating or fun, but you don’t need it.
You’ll find church to be wherever you hang out with others of like-mind and they will uplift you.
You don’t have to be brainwashed or programmed into a certain rigidity. Too narrow of a focus can lead to separation.
If you want to experience the love of unity, apply and integrate what you’ve learned into your day to day. Practices do not need to become rituals, but deeper awareness while performing daily tasks. Pray without ceasing. Seek the meaning and lesson from every interaction.
Continue to become aware of your own virtues; the highest ideals and values of your life.
When you really GET why you came to live in a body, you’ll no longer need teachers or coaches. You can have fun with them and continue layering knowledge and wisdom gained into your system, but mostly everything you need to know can flow into you, if you are open to receive. Be an open vessel.
Layer upon layer new techniques or such, but understand why you are taking care of your body. You’ll live a wholly vibrant life!
Reasons people leave Church
Outgrow it – see through the programming
Have been offended
Not being told the Truth
Been traumatized or abused
Bashing other churches or faiths
Questioned too much
Gossip / slander
Now, don’t kill the thought messenger for pointing these things out. You are more than sheeple!
Our bodies are our temple
Having cleaned a branch church building for months and then being told to leave during a storm when shelter was needed, showed my mom which side those “good church members” were on—and it was not God’s. I could see right through them, though it took mom a bit longer to come around to that knowing. Those hypocrites were living in fear of the insurance company!
Ah, split energies! Know this: Jesus didn’t preach in churches!
Choose you this day how you will feel, and whom you will serve. Find your inner tranquility in each moment.
My being-ness resonated with this video.
I appreciated Neale’s transparency and Eckhart’s powerful stillness (even while he was speaking), as contradictory as that seems.
Bliss. Yes, the more we integrate and allow our Spirit to lead (instead of our Ego), in our daily activities, the more we feel it and know the truth of us.
No graven images
Why no graven images?
Primarily because graven images remind us of the past. And we are to live in the present moment. The dead do not need shrines. And everything man-made will be destroyed in the end. Everything is temporary.
God is ever-living Omniscience
Are you smarter than God? You think you are if you presume to know how God wants you to worship a particular religion. The knowing or “path” to LIMITLESS Source Energy Creator is a narrow one because most find it too difficult to let go of earthly material possessions and simply be present in every situation.
#Namaste #GodInYou #Holism
We are much more than we see. We are Spirit focused like a laser light beam into a physical body, with a lot of unseen energy round about us. ❤️🦋🌀
I pose this question to you: Where do I end and you begin?
What’s the outcome?
The Grand Beyond
Ah! The bliss and joy I feel when I imagine what the heavenly realm of the Grand Beyond is!
I imagine all the beautiful sunrises and sunsets one sees from the expansive view from the Grand Beyond.
What might it be like to reconnect with my loved ones in the Grand Beyond…
Even if I am not with my loved ones in the Grand Beyond after my Continuation Day, perhaps I will go on to create a new galaxy where many can enjoy the earthly fruits of their labor. And my loved ones can gaze upon that galaxy with awe. They may choose to join also!Oh, what a heavenly and splendid galaxy it will be!
I am writing a metaphysical novel that will explore the nature of these things, but for now, I will leave you with this:
When we wake from sleeping with a song in our head, sometimes even seeing famous people singing a song we’ve never heard before (and for some, they jump up and write the song), where does that come from?
I had a huge clearing (emotional release) take place yesterday while playing“Fast Track Technique for Kidz” game with my friend and skilled certified practitioner, Dr. Susan Spilman.
I felt amazing then and still do now!
What an energizing and high vibe (vibration raising) experience! Susan told me that children and adults, (no matter the language they speak), can release emotions (even stored emotions they may not consciously be aware they’re holding), by playing this easy and FUN “game.”
The game worked on my Central meridian and I felt the GodBumps ripple down my spine, out my shoulders and arms, and a few moments later, down and out my legs and feet! My vibration was sooo high from playing this game and using the clearing method that my face became rosy! After leaving, I was able to meet up with additional friends (that my previous mind chatter might have talked me out of), visit with them for a couple of hours, drive over 100 miles home, talk with my husband, and stay up hours longer than usual with lasting vibrant energy! ❤️
As you know, I have been practicing and teaching Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) for years, but what I experienced yesterday was incredibly FAST and extremely easy! No tapping required! This “game” does everything I have been seeking, as far as showing us how we all have choices! (Go back to my home page to understand: https://SheilaMurrey.net)
Though I am a highly sensitive person (HSP) and empath, and didn’t feel I was carrying around any emotional baggage, I played the game just to see what I might uncover. And wow!
This game can help calm a child whose been bullied, comfort a sad one, ease one into playing on a team with others, or help inspire a lonely child or adult to engage and connect with others!
As an only child who was often picked last during team sports when I was a child, I revisited that old feeling of loneliness (for a couple minutes during this game play) and felt those old feelings lighten and disintegrate! No wonder I love inclusivity and Connection as an adult! Wow! Shocker! Hahahaha ❤️🤣
I want to be certified in this technique! That’s how much of an impact it made on and IN me. And it’s such an easy and FUN “game.”
I just taught one of my 2.5 year old granddaughters the motion we used yesterday (instead of the tapping points) when on video chat I saw her sucking her thumb and twirling her hair. She copied me (and removed her thumb out of her mouth)! I already see how exciting this technique will be to teach! ❤️😉
UPDATE: I got certified on Nov. 27, 2019!!
A BIT ABOUT ME:
Check out this original song, Thank You. My husband wrote this song and it was performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 16) from this link:
Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life
Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, introduces the basic concepts of health and wellness from the holistic perspective. After 13 years of researching alternative medicine healing modalities, self experimentation and much trial and error, this practical guide was written to help you flow with your Soul essence and live a wholly vibrant life.
Do you have a chronic health issue?
Would you like to reduce or eliminate your need for pharmaceutical medications?
Are you interested in natural health remedies, alternative, or holistic treatments, but others have asked you, “Don’t you think if there was something better than the treatments the doctor recommended, that he or she would know about it”?
Are you interested in holistic health practices, yet hold a limited belief about some because you don’t know who to trust, think they’re scientifically untested/unproven, or don’t want to be fooled?
Do you feel hopeless or confused by conflicting health information or advice?
Doctors know that stress and anxiety depresses the immune system, but why?
What does it mean to “go inward” or be aligned with your Soul? How do we even know if we have a Soul?
Yes, mysteries abound.
Yet, there are ways to know what’s good for You.
Science does not know where Consciousness is located. Yet, sages, gurus, and prophets for millenia have taught us to:
Be Still and Know.
The information available to you in, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, will help you:
Manage stress (Mind-Body methods)
Breathe more fully (Pranayama breathing)
Establish a well-rounded and more informed health team of professionals
Strategies and tips for staying well and BEing your most vibrant self
Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life offers you:
Suggestions and tips on natural and common sense ways of maneuvering through health issues.
50+ questions you can use (or modify) when you need to visit any health professionals, to get the best attention and care you deserve.
Simple and practical advice you can incorporate into your daily routine, and others, that you can try before you head to a doctor’s office.
Learn ideas and suggestions to relieve stress, and find the benefits of mental balance and clarity. Discover the benefits that daily physical and flexible actions bring. Gain a rich understanding of the many options available to you by way of alternative, complementary, and integrative medicine modalities.
Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life shines a light on the information you need to enhance your personal life—and after you take care of You, think how much more you’ll have to offer those you love.
Printed copies are $35. We want to save trees though, right?
Sheila has been told that she’s a BRIDGE to the lay person (nonprofessional or inexperienced) who may be going to traditional MDs and not able to resolve their issues or understand where they come from (root cause/s), my book is an introduction to many natural and holistic health options and most importantly, offers HOPE!
Be the best version of who you want to be.
Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.
I AM my ancestors (who continue to live in my DNA and blood), and Everything I’ve experienced up to this point since the moment of my physical birth–and perhaps from Beyond it too!
My physical body consists of “star stuff”: dirt and water, the elements of the earth and stars. I breathe, because our Creator Source once breathed a soul essence into a human being. No human has ever created another living breathing life from nothing. We make babies from a male and a female human BE-ing. Our breath originated somewhere. WE human BE-ings can only share breath. Our essence came from some ONE. That is logic.
Let me present some definitions to you, as you may need some context around this article before you can really “get it.”
Ancestors – anyone who shares my DNA and/or blood. I see this as a line, past, present, and future. What I experience today (in the Now), ah yes, is driven, or built upon, the foundation that all my previous living relations have experienced. This line allows me to affect change in the lives of those I am currently related to, as well as who will come down in the future–my legacy).
Blood – the viscous liquid coursing through my veins. It is a well established fact, and proven by my mother, that when a mother and father’s blood is incompatible a baby cannot naturally come forth from them. Yes, of course today it is known that with medical intervention a baby can be saved–but at times, there are still complications from the blood mismatch).
DNA – The biological, scientific explanation of the genetic carrier of information (deoxyribonucleic acid) that exists inside of each of us–not seen by the naked eye–which allows each of us to self-replicate. This substance is claimed to exist in “nearly all living organisms as the main constituent of chromosomes.”
Aware / Awake person – One who has an open mind to acknowledge that there’s a lot more information around us than what our established five senses interprets on a daily basis.
Everything – All of one’s vibrations, energy, thoughts, ways of interpreting, and actions.
Why does it matter?
If I know who I am, then it gives me many clues as to why I’m here, and my purpose for living. Also, I feel it matters to my family, both past, present, and future.
To ease feelings associated with loneliness and loss, both for myself and others. And my hope is that the more we research and discuss our Connections, the better we can use our experiences to heal ourselves, and loved ones.
I’ve been interested in my genealogy for many years, and in particular my Native American roots since I love and am drawn to so many things said, and made by Native Americans. However, after my mom passed away (transitioned to the other side), I began experiencing stupefying co-incidences. Actually, I began experiencing incredible synchronicities even before, mama crossed over. And as an “aware” person, I began noting these occurrences and writing them down.
Before my mom passed, but after dad had called me to tell me she wasn’t doing so well, I had decided that I needed to find a piece of jewelry mom had given me years ago. In looking for the item though, I didn’t find it. Instead, I found a beautiful old watch of hers and a pocket watch, which I think had belonged to my grandfather (though I’m not sure).
I placed both items on our coffee table and felt better having these pieces near me. Call it a vibration thing, I don’t know. But I felt a bit better.
It was only a day or two until I got the call from dad that mom was unresponsive. My mind still wasn’t sure that meant she had passed though, so I’d reached out to my nurse friend to ask. I had kept busy for several hours that morning, pacing, and waiting on a confirmation from dad. I knew I wanted to get to where they were and be with dad–it was a “pull” that I’d not quite felt before. While preparing for the multi-state drive, at some point the thought came to me, “It was my time.” And bingo. That’s when it hit me. The synchronicity of the items I’d found was mom’s spirit telling me that it was her time to go, and for me to be okay with it–since she’d confirmed it by having me find not just one, but two, TIME PIECES!
She used to tell me as a teen that I was thick headed. So, I laughed out loud because I knew this was her way of reminding me of that also! That if I didn’t “get it” from finding her watch, then she’d make SURE that I understood that it was her time by having me find that second time piece! Aha! Mom was with me. I had even told someone a week or so prior that mom’s dementia sort of had her “one foot in this world, and one in the other.”
When my husband and I arrived in West Virginia, my dad was outside of the local hotel to greet us! No time was wasted! And as the Universe would have it, as we walked into the lobby of the hotel and conference center, a lone man was sitting there softly playing his guitar and singing. The song? One of mom and dad’s favorites, “Unchained Melody.” There was also, at this same time, a taxidermist convention going on–and my paternal grandfather was a taxidermist! It caused me to ponder, is mama (in the Great Beyond) hanging out with my grandparents? What a comforting and cool thought.
We spent several days with dad, but then it was time to go home. Before we could get out of the state however, my uncle would not take no for an answer that we needed to come to his home because he had something of mom’s for me. My aunt even got on the phone to tell me there was a mink coat amongst the things mom had put in their cedar closet. I couldn’t imagine my mother having a mink coat, so yes, the curiosity got the best of me and I did one of the purely selfish things I’ve ever done. I decided we’d drive a 3 to 4 hours out of our way, and go see my aunt and uncle and pick up whatever mom had packed away. My uncle also surprised us by calling my cousins and had them come to the house to visit us–something I’d never imagined would happen, but oh, how joyous that reunion was!
Finding mom’s wedding suit, and many special coats that I remembered mom wearing, along with other clothing she’d put aside, was all so very comforting for me. And as I spent weeks looking at old photos and seeing mama wearing these clothes, totally made me feel as though she was guiding my efforts. I poured through many photos in order to put together mom’s eulogy and photo slideshow.
In the weeks that followed, we would all discuss what kind of service to have for mom. My dad, so overcome with grief, would call me almost daily, and often I could hear the shakiness of his voice on the other end of the line. I tried my best to reassure him that he had more to live for, a purpose yet to fulfill.
Eventually, we’d agreed to honor my mama by having my uncle, mom’s brother, facilitate a memorial service for mom. I wasn’t going to go, but when I learned that my dad’s sister (who lives in California) would be there for her reunion during the same week, and wanted to also attend mom’s service, I began looking for a flight up. Initially, the airline I normally use, didn’t have any direct flights in. I tried to console myself that I’d just have to miss the service. But, out of the blue, the thought came to check ALL airlines, and I was able then, quite easily actually, to book a flight up with one airline into one city, and the return flight home with another airline out of a neighboring state–in the same town as one of my cousins also, whom I’d always wanted to visit with at her home!
As if, the audacity of the synchronicity of finding two of mom’s time pieces wasn’t enough, don’t you know that when I got to West Virginia for mom’s memorial service, my dad presented me with another time piece of mom’s, her favorite, “footprints in the sand” wrist watch!
Also, what really knocked my socks off, was that as soon as dad and I arrived at my uncle and aunt’s home for the service, I saw my uncle and he was wearing an indigo blue long sleeved dress shirt! If you haven’t read one of my previous posts called, “That Tiny Blue Dot” then you won’t understand the significance of this synchronicity, but the importance of it was not lost on me!
As well, the tables set up to be used for mom’s memorial service all had indigo blue plastic table cloths on them! I couldn’t have been more wrapped in love during that day, knowing mom was with me.
Nature chimes in
At one point during the service an eagle or hawk flew directly over head! And after the service, I learned that the beautiful blooming tree (that can be seen in the videos I took of the service) is a crepe myrtle, and more than that, it had been brought back by my grandparents after a trip they’d taken years ago to Florida! I’d never known them to take a vacation in their lives, especially not all the way to Florida! I was astounded!
After the service, dad and I checked into the hotel. Quite purposely I had booked us a room at the same hotel where my dad’s sister was staying so we could visit more with her.
As it turned out though, it seemed mom had a hand in this from the other side, as while dad and I walked into the hotel restaurant area, he is looking around and tells me that he hasn’t been there in years—since he had picked up mom and one of her friends when they had imbibed and didn’t want to drive home! I was stunned! I had heard mom say she used to sell Avon at one of the hotel restaurant lounges during a particular span of time (when I had moved away and was busy raising my kids), but I had never gone there with her, and all these years later the hotel’s name had changed. Turns out we were right where we needed to be, as the friend dad mentioned, joined us for a cocktail and a beautiful conversation later that evening after my aunt left to attend a reunion function.
The morning after we’d returned home, I had awoken with a song in my head. It was an old song. Gilbert O’Sullivan’s, “Alone Again” would play over and over in my mind, and with it came the feeling that mom was giving it to me, to help me cry and release the grief.
I continue to notice and enjoy the many synchronicites that mom’s provides me. Most recently, it was meeting an artist friend who paints using a lot of indigo blue, that she herself had not realized she was using!
Writing it down
Historically, the church I was raised in kept intricately detailed genealogical records. They are publicly known for this. Because of this, and since it was always the church’s practice to offer their members something called a patriarchal blessing, mom had learned that she was from the tribe of Manasseh.
I also know, but as of yet have been unable to prove, that my mother, and her mother, carried the blood of their Native American (Cherokee) relatives. Since the Native American lineage is traced via the mother, and recorded on tribal rolls, I’ve bought many books on the Cherokee tribes and have found my grandmother’s maiden last name, but not her mother’s maiden last name. So many of the tribal rolls don’t even show a first name, or only first initials, making proving my Indian heritage nearly impossible. Please reach out to me if you have any suggestions. My great grandmother’s name was Hannah McGill Calhoun of West Virginia and her mother’s name was Louisa McDonald McGill.
Since I’d give anything to find some handwritten family history by my ancestors, I began writing, and later, blogging, so my granddaughters will have something to be able to know and understand a bit about their grandmother–me.
The importance of learning and continued growth
You know, while writing my mother’s eulogy these words came to me, “I could burn a lot of people.”But I felt, based upon everything I’ve learned and accepted up to this point in my life, that it would be better to honor mom’s memory, life, and who she raised me to be, by choosing instead to elevate, and take the high road so to speak, because I am not angry anymore. I’m not.
For three weeks I poured through pictures of mom and my relatives. I cried. I got angry. But, I employed tools and tactics that I’ve learned over the last 10 years or so, to press on, release, and let go. By the end of the time I spent preparing my loving mother’s eulogy, I got to the point where I could just say, “Thank You.” Not just to my mother, but to many relatives and friends who, over the years, came and went, and taught us all many lessons.
I thank each of the people who have touched my life, for good or bad, for my personal growth. I believe the word “lessons” and the word “blessings” have a lot in common. And that either by the sins of commission or the sins of omission each of us can learn, if we are open to learning. Oh, we could bury ourselves in the dirt of these so called sins. But I make a conscious choice to learn from what’s happened to me. And now, I believe after we cross over in the ALL, that we then are able to see all of the intricate Connections, and come to know of the Why things had to happen in every circumstance, the way that they did. All learning produces strength of character and more importantly, strength of spirit.
Do I still get mad sometimes? Yes.
Do I want to get revenge? Yes.
Would it change anything? No.
So, this is why I practice self-help, self-care, prayer, meditation, and other mind-body-spirit modalities. And slowly, I let go of the anger–and I get another side benefit from all of this work too, the resentments vanish.
You know, it’s ironic that mom’s remains are in her old bedroom of the house she was born in.
The place she would attempt to come back to once, and my grandmother (according to what mom told me) said, “You are welcome, but not with Sheila.” Either because she said this, or my mother interpreted her words to mean that because I was a part of my father, my grandmother did not want me to live in her house. My grandmother (at least at that time) did not like my dad, and I guess, that was the reason for her answer to my mother’s request.
These are the kinds of things I can’t seem to forget.
I believe the reason some memories nag us, is not to heap guilt (which is just another kind of thought) on us, but to remind us that we’ve missed a legacy lesson.
Mom always taught me to turn a thought about a problem, “over and over in my head” until a solution presented itself. Well, I sat with this for some time until a new thought came to me, “Let go of my hurt feelings, angst, even anger towards my granddaughter’s father. As I mentally released him from the prison I’d constructed in my mind for him, I’d break the spell (so to speak) of my grandmother’s words about me! Thus freeing my grandmother, my mom, myself, my daughter, my granddaughter, and so on! This is one small, or huge, example of the lesson I needed to learn. Perhaps I could apply it similarly in other situations?
Have I made mistakes too? You betcha.
Once, I talked with mom and dad about somehow helping them to buy them a new double-wide or other kind of trailer on their property, and they said, “No.” I replied something to the effect of, “Then, you can stay here in this place and let it fall down around you.” Ugh! My words came out the way that they did based upon the helpless feelings I felt at the time. I almost found it hard to live comfortably wherever I was living at the time, while watching my parents live in what I deemed was substandard housing. Plus, I had felt so much sadness that I couldn’t somehow free my mother from the trappings of her then painful life. But I realized later, there was nothing for me to feel guilt about since I did offer, and my offer was met with much resistance. Because I haven’t worked on freeing myself of these particular thoughts (resistance), you guessed it, my son is now going through this very same “clean up the property” experience with my dad.
You see? We each have a choice. We can accept offers of love and help, or we can choose to turn our backs and do it all ourselves.
Of course, now my mother is free. Free at last. And me? I will continue to seek solace in God and every living creature. Not in ashes. Not in trying to change the past.
While visiting Marie and my beautiful granddaughters over July 4th week, I said that perhaps mom’s strong faith, returned to her as her dementia progressed. She lived in utter gratitude daily for papa caring for her and any and all things my son, Matt, and his then wife, did for her. Total gratitude.
I believe the gratitude my mother displayed taught me to place great importance upon healing (with love and conscious awareness) those who carry her blood. All of her love beats within my spiritually open heart.
I Am Free.
Blessed be. OM
Check out this original song, Forever. It’s one of my favorites as my love will go on for my husband and my family forever. It was lovingly written by my husband and performed and recorded in a Nashville, TN studio. You can download it (it’s Track 11) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordband
A bit about me:
An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.
Preface: I’d been told that when you’re in recovery, it was a good thing to get a dog. I had no idea what I was in for, or what a huge commitment I was making! 🙂 Over the years, I was going to observe and learn a lot from my two doggies, “kids with fur”, or “fur babies.” Oh yes, a lot!
Receiving them into my life
I bought Beau from my cousin, while she was working as a long distance trucker. She also bred Shih-Tzu’s. Her mom and dad brought Beau to me (via a long drive on her mom’s lap) from WV to FL when Beau was only 6 weeks old.
I don’t recall if my cousin told me this, or it just seemed to me to be the case, but Beau must have been the runt of the litter. Always quiet and unassuming, he would let the other puppies walk all over him. At least that always proved to be the situation when we introduced him to our spirited and challenging female Shih-Tzu, Lou-Lou.
Lou-Lou was about a year old when a friend of mine convinced me she should have a playmate or mate as it were. I actually registered Beau with AKC under the name, “Lou-Lou’s Beau”.
Lou-Lou was the alpha of the two. They had two litters of puppies together when Beau was about 2 or 3 years old. My cousin told me to be careful that Beau didn’t hurt the puppies. But that never happened. Beau would help Lou-Lou keep all the puppies clean. He was the best dad!!
I had both Lou-Lou and Beau spayed and neutered after that second litter. Later we would come to learn that an accidental pregnancy (too soon after her first) would put severe strain on Lou-Lou’s health. She lived to 12 years of age, mostly because we ate an excellent raw diet and because she was so strong-willed. She had always experienced recurring bladder issues (which meant lots of trips to the vet for us), and finally succumbed due to a combination of complications from arthritis, infections, and more.
Conversely, Beau, has always been easy-going. He’s so polite in fact, he waits to be invited up on the couch! (Now I have to lift him up on the couch). Up until this year, he wouldn’t remain on the couch when I would get up for a few seconds to grab a drink or something! (I have to lift him from the couch to the floor now). He has never had an accident in the house, unless ill. He never barks. He never scratches anything. (Well, he did a couple times, no idea why). He never begs. Okay, maybe a little! He’s really just the perfect “man.” LOL
Lessons they taught me
Beau has taught me much about life, and continues to. He never sees a stranger. Beau is totally the social butterfly! 🙂 His eyesight has deteriorated now, so his behavior has changed some. He is more concerned with the smell of things than who is walking near us. But he used to make me a tad bit jealous, because he could just take off, go to anyone, and leave me behind without a second thought. In fact, I am quite sure of that. I am the one that superimposes my human ideas onto him.
Beau introduced me to many of our neighbors, some even when they were outside (and did not have a dog)! He’d just go over as far as I would allow (on leash) and stand, until I acknowledged the neighbor, or admonished Beau that it was time for us to go home.
He’s more fond of adults than children but he’ll put up with kids petting him – though he gives me a look sometimes like, they’re not his type! LOL. Of course he’s always gentle. Only rarely does he come upon another dog that he doesn’t like. I always find that amusing and feel it must be a “vibe thing.”
When we had to say good-bye to Lou-Lou December 2012, Beau never missed a beat. He didn’t display any sadness. Perhaps he knew it was just time. I think he’d really known much sooner than I that it was time for her to “move on” to another plane of existence. At any rate, he seemed relieved.
She had always shared food and they ate together well, but she had to get on the shared doggie bed first, get it all ruffled “just right”, before Beau could lay down. When I came home from work, she had to be on my lap first, get leashed for walking first, absorb the most of my time, and grab all the attention (she was a barker) with neighbors and other dogs when we walked. Many of our walks were stressful just because she would bark and carry on when other dogs walked by. I even took her to doggie training to try and curb her behavior. It worked – for awhile.
Now, all the focus is on Beau. And I promised Lou-Lou it would be – on our last trip to the veterinarian.
I had to fight many battles for her with different veterinarian’s over the years as her bladder issues reoccurred. I developed anxiety over even having to take her to the doctor. I had to learn it was never about me. It was always about her and I had to determine eventually that my intention was the same as the doctors we saw – to help her whatever we had to do. Granted everyone has to make money but for the most part, those who I had accused of just wanting to make more money from me, well, maybe they just didn’t know any other way to treat her than do many tests (eventually we did all the tests we could) but I struggled with that – a lot.
In the end sadly, to help her – when on top of everything her arthritis was too much for her to even allow me to gently bathe her – the best I could do for her was to make that final decision.
For a year, I had carried her up and down our steps for every walk because she couldn’t make it on her own. Now, I carry Beau as his eyesight is failing him. But thankfully he is pretty healthy otherwise – no arthritis.
Taking good care
My intention continues to be ensuring the best quality of health and life for Beau and I believe I’ve found the best healthcare providers to partner with me. Thank you so much Dr. Rumore and Lisa at Lake Seminole Animal Hospital. Your “petside” manner and love for animals is heartwarming and so very important.
I distinctly recall a night, many years ago, while mom was driving us home – I became intrigued by power lines along the road. I gazed out the window and mused about electricity, or better yet, energy. I’ve never publicly discussed this memory before.
I remember reverse engineering the power process. While looking at those electric lines I mentally traced the energy flowing from pole to pole, all the way to our house. I wondered where the source was. I asked mom, “how does the energy come through these lines to our house, to the street lights, etc.?” I think this must have surprised her, because I don’t think she had an answer for me. Or perhaps whatever answer she provided didn’t resolve my curiosity. I somehow intrinsically became aware the seemingly endless supply of power to our home via these electric lines and I was transfixed, totally mesmerized as to how it worked. I also felt connected to this somehow. I yearned to understand.
From my now perspective
Looking back, I’m surprised I didn’t seek work for a power company – but my first job was waiting tables. And my first college course was electronics. (For years I’ve credited my interest in electronics to my dad who ran a CB radio business on the side from our home). Now I believe this early experience was the catalyst of “why” I wanted to learn about electronics, computers, and more specifically, frequency.
However, my career to date has been – computers. Early on I wanted to build them, I was fascinated with the early circuit boards. I loved using meter tools to measure how much power it took to make small lights (LEDs) come on, etc. But when that didn’t work out, I started selling computers – as well as, providing setup, delivery, and training.
Selling computers (coupled with that first electronics class) led me to a job where I could learn more, involving inputting data into database systems. My natural ability to put people at ease and be inquisitive, along with many influential people helped along the way:
An unknown RCA technician man who told me “if you wear glasses now you won’t want to work on what’s coming” (and what was coming was surface mount technology)
My friend Margie who took me by the hand and pushed me to register for that electronics course
An acquaintance who suggested I apply for a job at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University as we drove by on the way to pick up carpet out of his small plane which, I had offered to clean
Bill Gates, love him or not – I’ve had a wonderful career due to Microsoft operating systems / software
Not long after I bought my first personal computer I began developing websites, and learning how to configure sections, or modules, of large and complex database systems – some proprietary and some commercial off-the-shelf (COTS) software applications. The end result though was to always fulfill my clients’ needs. Most of the time my needs were met too – that of being able to work with energy – in a box kind of way.
I think in terms of “processes.” I’m always looking for ways, even when out and about, where I could take a manual process and add electronics to aid in the ease of doing something. My “process thinking” helps me quickly analyze business needs, and work at an eager pace to provide value to clients to help work flow better.
Speaking of “flow”, that brings me back full circle to where this conversation began – the flow of energy through those electric lines which, first grabbed my attention when I was just five or six years old.