On Empathy and being an Empath

As a highly sensitive person and empath, I experience the feelings of others.

I love to find new ways to think and feel that help me keep my heart open to others (and my ego in check. Meaning maintaining a healthy ego—not being egotistical). ❤️😉

On empathy and being an Empath

The Power of Like and Connection

A friend of mine, Michelle Howe, runs Empath Evolution. I highly recommend her and her work.

About Empathy, Michelle writes, “The POWER of LIKE…….. is really the power of connection…. it’s not about how much you know…. or, what you look like….. or, how much money you make…. It’s the power to put others at ease within conversation and CONNECT to FEEL GOOD with one another.

It’s so interesting….. In making my decisions, this one little thing overrules the rest of the stuff. I have to really enjoy someone which, means our energies compliment one another…….
You know it immediately… it’s like a soft pillow.”

And my reply was:
I love that! And now I feel even better about myself as I have often been told (in my tech career), that I easily put others at ease. ❤️🦋🌀😉

Speaking of Power

After watching the story of how Sly Stallone got his movie, Rocky, made—I made the following observations:

Sometimes we do things (things of which, we may not be so proud), but all of it had to happen, just the way it did, for us to build our character, and allow us to have compassion and empathy for others. For when we walk empathically on the Earth, we can be real and genuine. And then, when we make it to what most perceive as “the top,” we carry ourselves with grace, and easily off grace to others.

I can only speak for me, but I think keeping my ego in balance, taking responsibility for all of my thoughts, words, and deeds, using natural health solutions, and staying grounded, are all major reasons I am drawn to Shamanism.

Empaths and Boundaries

I wholly agree with Sadee Whip.

Sadee says, “I often hear people who identify as empaths talk about how overwhelmed they get, how much they take on the energy of others, how hard it can be feeling so much of what is going on around them, etc.

My dears, what you are actually identifying is not the burden of being an empath, but the imbalance you are experiencing at the lack of your own developed warrior energy.

Warrior energy is an ability to use healthy anger and righteousness to set boundaries, say “no”, and properly protect and defend oneself.

If you are experiencing problems being an empath, seek to bring about balance and wholeness within yourself.

  • This means use your voice.
  • Say no.
  • Tell people they are full of shit when they are.
  • Don’t let others walk all over you.
  • Don’t let others disrespect you.
  • Don’t give of yourself until you are depleted.
  • Ask for what you need.
  • Accept responsibility for your circumstances.

Being an empath, I promise you, is not actually the problem.

Learning to be open and not bleed out is an art. One worth practicing. Focus on your warrior energy and bring that into balance with the empath energy and you will find both peace and power.”

And to this question:
How does this work for healers – mental health therapists, social workers, teachers, etc? I can only say no and set boundaries to an extent in my daily life. My entire day involves saying yes to walking with others through their trauma and pain.

My friend, Andrea, shared her answer:
It’s more about people letting others energies in. Picture your own personal energy space surrounding you about three feet out, with a pink cord from your heart out to others. We stayed connected to others by the pink heart cord, but we don’t let others energies into our personal, self contained space- unless we want to.

This practice is one people can learn to keep others energies from affecting them, draining their energy and so forth. One can do energy clearing every day, from head to toe, visualizing a silver waterfall (and if you do this while showering it can be even more effective, as water is extremely energetically and physically cleansing). And then you can visualize your body surrounded by white or gold light. You can also visualize the violet flame inside your chakras too. This burns off all residual energies of others. (Many thanks to Andrea for this recommended practice!) You can read more at: Andrea’s Personal Blog.

A bit about me, your Spiral Sister

I would love to speak at your bookstore, crystal shop, acupuncture / chiropractor office, or other holistic / natural fair or festival. I support healthy lifestyle businesses. For information on both of my books, visit my Amazon author’s page — Click here.

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon. 

Plus, my holistic health book that details how I naturally reversed asthma, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is available now. Buy it here

Be the best version of who you want to be

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

Walking more than a mile in another’s moccasins

Walking more than a mile in another’s moccasins

Making judgments

My grandmother (of Cherokee Native American Indian descent) often said,

Never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.

And apparently, as a child, those words soaked into me and became my mantra. And I became an empath. Or perhaps, I was born an empath and her words resonated with me and validated my nature. Either way, in my experience, being empathic has been like living on both edges of a sword. 

Never judge. Until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins
Never judge. Until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins

I’ve realized my life’s path has had me walk more than a mile in my mom’s moccasins–and also in my dad’s shoes. And I’m tired. Yet, profoundly grateful I’ve had such a multitude of experiences to learn so much.

No matter how many times I’ve pondered the heartache, the gut-wrenching, soul-shaking, events of my childhood–that I’ve recreated (knowingly or not) in my adult life, with some incredibly outlandish desire to FIX–I eventually cane to a knowing that I can’t fix anyone else. And I’m glad I figured that out before I met my third husband! 

No one can fix anyone else.

Just like that old joke, 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb has to want to be changed.

Repeating patterns

Unfortunately, even my children picked up the yoke of this dastardly twisted need to fix others, as they’ve fallen into some of the same relationship woes as I. And fortunately, all of us are in healthy relationships presently! Thank Limitless God we’ve all awakened from the lure of this whole “fixing” trap!

So, why am I writing this piercing note in the middle of the night?

Because I promised my daughter, if I accomplish one thing on this planet while I’m alive this time around, it is to break the “lather, rinse, and repeat” cycle of fixing–for my granddaughters. And all of my writing (both online and in books) is to ultimately leave earth-bound knowledge for my grandchildren. Of course, if any of these words help others, that’s icing on the proverbial cake! 

You see, I never knew Divine LOVE, until I held my first granddaughter in my arms. She (Jennifer Ann), means more to me than I could describe.

What can I deduce from this new found comprehension of having walked all of these miles, in my mother’s, and yes, some in my father’s moccasins?

That life’s not been easy. But, it was never my job to work out their issues.

Tempted to complain

My “love of my life” husband and I picked up a saying this past year that goes,

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

And whenever I start to complain about something that doesn’t really belong to me–someone else’s drama–my hubby will pop that quote out to me. I love him so much for bringing things like that to my attention! He knows the empath in me often gets sucked into other’s drama, because I always feel that I can help ease their pain–somehow.

The Universe presented us with that very same phrase while we were enjoying our big outdoor annual Awakening Into The Sun festival! My friend Mary Ann, owner of Awakened Fibers had a handmade wall hanging with the words, “Not my circus, not my monkeys” embroidered on it! How fun!

Not my problem

And as if that wasn’t enough, a few minutes later while visiting with Dr. Alison J. Kay, her assistant, Brenda, told us a new phrase that fully resonated with me. It was, 

You’ve heard it said to get your ducks in a row? But, they were never your ducks.

My goodness! What if the stuff I had taken on (for years), all of those “other people’s problems”, were never my ducks? I never needed to get any “ducks” in a row to straighten out my parents issues. Who did I think I was to feel burdened to do that? Ugh! And now you see why I am tired. Tired of carrying the emotional baggage of others–it was never my stuff to carry!

On the upside, I’ve had a successful (nearly thirty year) career (out of the need to walk in my dad’s technical “know-how” shoes). And after wanting a pair of real honest-to-God moccasins for years, I finally got some, and I’ve been wearing them everyday.

Wearing moccasins daily, I feel every pebble under my feet as I walk. And I love that! I’m constantly mindful that each challenge in life is as the grain of sand that produces a pearl in an oyster!

My daily walks provide me with the benefit of grounding daily, and the knowing that the wearing of these moccasins, physically brings my grandmother’s saying directly into my body—making her words experiential—instead of it just hanging around in my head like some mystical cloud.

So, yes, there are always positives. I know this. Why does it have to take some of us so long to figure things out?

Oh, because we’re programmed as children. Culturally, socially, and if you were raised in a religious faith, you (and I) were programmed. I’m glad I figured that out!

Cut the cords

Now, energetically at least, I’ve cut the cord of all of this for my granddaughters. 

Here and now I state, my grandchildren will not have to take any historical family burdens upon themselves. They can be self-filled. Self-motivated. They can help others as they choose. Free spirits! They can care for themselves first, without guilt. They can choose to do what they love! They do not have to repeat the sins of their parents, or of mine. They do not need to try and figure anything out. The past is the past and it is abSOULutely done.

I have broken this chain of fools.

Be here now. ❤️🦋🌀🙏☀️🌱

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, my holistic health book that details how I naturally reversed asthma, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is available now. Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself