You may recall a time (previous post is here), when a relative of mine read one of MY Facebook posts and decided to block me, and never speak to me again, because of something that “hurt her feelings.”

Thing is, our whole family seems to have a big issue with “taking everything PERSONALLY,” or “people pleasing.” Yep!

I meant no ill will towards her or anyone when I posted my message. And in particular she would have been the LAST person I would ever want to “hurt,” offend, because I had always placed her on the proverbial pedestal. I wanted to BE her when I was little. Hmm.

Better to feel good than be right

I have experienced the knee-jerk reactions (less and less now and of shorter duration), when someone in my immediate environment triggers me!

In one case, it’s been 2 years, and she didn’t even call or reach out to me when my dad died—supposedly her favorite brother). My aunt preaches “Compassion” too, so imagine my dismay. What to do?

From a distance, I have been choosing to “do” this for her. I send HER compassion (via distance), and wish her well. ❤️🦋🌀

A few days ago my daughter posted her Story on Facebook and I remembered this draft I had since August. Today, I finished this blog article after experiencing a knee-jerk reaction during work, and making a conscious choice to forgive and employ better feeling words.

I now, always ask myself (when I feel emotionally triggered), “when have I ever reacted this way?” It gives me space to breathe and react LESS, because I can quickly put myself in the other person’s shoes.

We practice methods during the Integrated Spiral™ program also, to build our resilience (a sort of mental “muscle memory”), so whenever we are emotionally triggered, we react less, and control or manage our emotions “in the moment.” Then, we can use our logical, analytical mind, instead of allowing our amygdala (flight or fight mind) to take over.

Incredibly, I wrote a draft of this post last August, (when I was on vacation and had some contemplative time).

Fast forward

I finished it today, because I had a knee-jerk reaction to something at work.

Everything worked out okay, with myself and my colleague learning more about each other. Plus, we figured out our need to offer our client mutual agreed upon information (we had to get “on the same page” first, before communicating with our customer). What did we do?

We both forgave ourselves and each other, by appreciating each other and how our intentions align. We found our integrity. It actually happened fairly easily after we took turns venting for a moment.

We just had to imagine our shared purpose. Our goal. And explain to each other our particular intentions. While treating each other with respect. And holding space for each other.

I wish everyone’s interactions could work out so smoothly when knee-jerk responses occur. I know it’s possible. Today was my proof.

A bit about me, your Spiral Sister

I would love to speak at your bookstore, crystal shop, acupuncture / chiropractor office, or other holistic / natural fair or festival. I support healthy lifestyle businesses. For information on both of my books, visit my Amazon author’s page — Click here.

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon. 

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Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

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5 thoughts on “Knee-jerk reactions

      1. I think so, Sheila plus you made it so much easier for your colleague by apologising first. As I always explain to our kids, never paint a person into a corner – always give them a graceful way out.

        Liked by 1 person

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