Moving from BEing unnerved to experiencing Love

Unnerved

I was completely unnerved!

As a highly sensitive person (HSP) I wanted to stay with my friend at an outdoor cafe and enjoy our visit, but a roaring motorcycle went by and the noise overwhelmed me!

I lost touch with the truth of who I am. I got rattled. I almost picked up my stuff and left, as I was quite literally… BESIDE MYSELF!

Beside myself
Beside myself

A fuller version of the story:

I had arrived 10 minutes early to Ionie’s cafe in Sarasota, Florida on a beautiful Saturday afternoon (Jan. 17th, 2015)– a week after my birthday.

A dear friend and I had previously agreed (earlier that same day) to meet at 1pm there and though she is usually early, she wasn’t on this particular day. I don’t state this to judge, only to establish a precursor to my story.

The last time we had met there, we sat outside and I was prepared to sit outside, but when I arrived I noticed that both outdoor deck tables were full so, I proceeded inside to find a table. It was a fairly busy time there.

My friend arrived a few minutes after 1 (I did not note the exact time because I had been relaxing, listening to the peaceful music and drinking a beet juice drink and water).

As she arrived, we said hello and hugged briefly and she asked if we could sit outside. I told her the tables were full and she said, she’d seen an empty one on the way in (possibly so, things change of course). I said “There wasn’t one available when I came in”, and that I preferred to stay inside (I don’t know why, perhaps because I’d become comfortable). Having none of that however, my friend went back outside to hold the table and asked our server, if we could move my things out there.

I gave in (another precursor) and just as I sat down outside a VERY loud motorcycle went by and I proclaimed that it was the reason I did not want to sit there. She said, “We sat out here the last time”, and I should have said, “Yes, and I didn’t like it” and “since we sat outside before, let’s try inside today.” After all, I had invited her to join me – as I had been there several times by myself. But, I didn’t. I allowed myself to be manipulated, after all, I love change and am flexible to the desire of others (many times to my detriment though)!

Lessons learned

At any rate, the point of this writing this now is my logical attempt to put words around the experience of the FEELING that overtook me. When that motorcycle went by, I felt as though I was going to come OUT of my skin!! My entire nervous system shook. My hands and legs trembled. I went back inside of the cafe to reclaim the previous table with thoughts in my mind of leaving. But I wanted to preserve the friendship and felt if I reacted in a dramatic way, I might rock the boat. As well, I have written book chapters about “Connections” and “Being open to receive” so I opted within my mind to find a way to overcome my reaction, noting to mySelf in that moment that I may be overreacting.

How it ended

My friend had came back in and tried to reassure me that they had another table out to the side of the building (not on the street) where we could move the chairs from the other outdoor deck table in order to sit in a quieter spot. Thus, compromising (or giving in), we sat under a tree by the parking lot. It was a bit easier on my senses.

I awkwardly explained to her that I needed to calm myself. I sat utterly quiet. I repositioned my chair, made my body comfortable, and breathed for about the count of ten.

After settling in to the new outdoor spot, the conversation we had over the course of 2 hours, was very beautiful, engaging, and I even expressed to her how I was learning to handle events like what had just happened. I had felt my central nervous system was burned out, as I worked in another town (at that time) and had to wear headphones most everyday because of the city and office noise.

An emergency vehicle went by at one point and I expressed (in a bit easier way this time) that this also disturbed me. It mostly aggravated me (I put my fingers in my ears while the siren was sounded) because when they turned off the siren, I took my fingers out of my ears, then they immediately sounded the siren again! Ugh!! I rhetorically asked, “Why can’t they just leave it on until they get to wherever it is they’re going”?

When it was time to leave, we exchanged a hug and my friend genuinely thanked me for sitting outside. And in that moment I knew we would not have had our lovely visit if I had left earlier when I was mad over the initial irritation.

What I learned from this experience

Allowing this moment to be as it is and just be aware of it;

I must always reach for the best feeling thought and comfort myself;

Just breathe;

Touch an acupressure point or focus on one and breathe;

I may not always express or articulate my pain or displeasure appropriately, but I can at least let the person know that I need a few moments to center myself.

Later on that day, I recognized my emotional balance and growth. And that at no point in this experience, which I called an “assault on my senses” did I cry! Even just a year or so prior, I may have cried during, or after the experience, or when I would later recount the story to my husband. Hmmm… change is GOOD!

The next day I found this beautiful interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ9UtuWfs3U

The lotus grow out of mud – you cannot grow a lotus on marble but in mud.

Suffering is mud to grow the flower of understanding and Love.

  • Meditate in every moment
  • Live in the here and now
  • Recite a mantra or not
  • The more people you sit with, the better for collective energy

I offer you the following FOUR mantras you can meditate with:

1) “Darling, I’m here for you”

How can you love if you aren’t there? You are not preoccupied with the past or future.

2) “Darling, I know you are there”

Use this to recognize the existence of the other person.

when your beloved one suffers use the third mantra:

3) “Darling, I know you suffer that is why I am here for you”

Simply your presence can give someone a lift.

Lastly, when you suffer and you believe your suffering has been caused by your beloved one – use the fourth mantra:

4) “Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best to practice Love, please help me.”

❤️🦋🌀

It seems simple.

This is also quite a beautiful lesson:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KopmSpe33Eg

On a deeper level, what really happened?

I learned that I am my perceptions. I learned what the true nature of “I” is.

Listening.

Perceiving.

Observing.

With Attention.

The real me is the “I” that is underneath all of the circumstances of my life.

In the moment of non-thinking is Attention.

Timeless, untouched by time. I before it becomes this or that. Just “I”.

My first guru of the Eastern arts and teacher, Ram Giri Braun, taught me this wonderful mantra in 2008:

“I am loving awareness.”

He said this is not for the mind, this is from Ram Dass. It is not meant to make sense. It’s about feeling something. Get in touch with YOU. Get in touch with the lovable YOU that’s inside of you.

Ram Giri taught me Open Attention and HeartSourcing.

You can learn about that too, here.

On Jan. 31st, 2015 I took a class at Suncoast Jin Shin Jyutsu with Michelle Giambra in Sarasota, FL. At the beginning of the class Michelle stated that, “Synchronicities abound.” And then another lady in the class said, “We love the synchronicities that abound here”! Beautiful!

Note: The first four letters in Michelle’s last name are, “G-I-A-M” like the online TV channel I love GIAM, that later changed their name to GAIA: https://www.gaia.com )

I learned there are ways to hold my body that will calm me, ease tension, and anxiety! Break-throughs!!

We Are All Connected. OM

Many blessings to you in ALL ways.

Check out this original song, No Permanent Damage. It’s one of my husband’s tunes – performed and recorded in Nashville, TN. You can download it (it’s Track 4) from this link: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/chevyfordb15

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, the brand new book that’s been in the making for 13 years, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is now available for online sale and distribution (PDF format).

Buy it here: https://beingwhollyvibrant.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/book-launch-take-it-upon-yourself-to-live-a-wholly-vibrant-life/

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself

12 easy ways to reduce stress!

The following list of helpful and easy ways to reduce stress, is ordered from activities that require the least physical effort, to the most. For the most part, this is a list you can reach for during your workday break times (as there are many more ways to reduce stress when you’re home).

Give one or more a try, especially if any are new to you! You may be surprised with the results!

My favorites are:

  1. Prayer
  2. Meditation / Mindfulness
  3. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT “Tapping”)
  4. Jin Shin Jyutsu
  5. Pranayama breathing
  6. Sniff some essential oil
  7. Gentle stretching
  8. Get up and walk around
  9. Swaying to music
  10. Mindful stair-climbing in conjunction with EFT / JSJ
  11. Yoga
  12. Pilates

For a bit more information on these, I like the following links:

Guided prayers

Or, my favorite prayer is simply, “Thank you“. If there is time, you can think of and add anything you’re grateful for. You just cannot be grateful and upset at the same time.

Meditation and yoga teacher Dr. Alison J. Kay offers weekly group telephone calls, online video-conferencing (Google Hangout), and private sessions where you can learn about meditation techniques. She teaches yoga classes too! Alison’s yoga classes are designed for specific issues / needs; i.e., yoga for triathletes, yoga for runners, yoga for hockey players, yoga for teenage girls, etc. Her group fitness classes include: yoga, mind-body, and core-strengthening. Check out my blog post about her here.

My wonderful Jin Shin Jyutsu teacher, Michelle Giambra offers classes at her studio in Sarasota, Florida and she has a Facebook page here.

Find someone who sells Young Living essential oils and buy Stress Away, a beautiful blend of Copaiba, Lime, Cedarwood, Vanilla, Ocotea, and Lavender.

Gentle stretching might involve a few chair yoga moves, or just raising your hands and arms as high as you can and slowly lowering them out and down to your sides while breathing with purpose to slow down. Click here to find some chair yoga videos.

It’s amazing how just breaking your attention, even for a few moments, can ease stress and anxiety! Get up and walk around. A few minutes of walking around will help you to calm, breathe, look at other things, and change your focus. Yes, even just going to the restroom counts!

I like to sway to some original music when I come home after a work. Who wants elevator music? If I could do this at work, life really would be a breeze! To find some exciting new music, click here.

Mindful stair-climbing is something I’ve sort of invented for myself. Well at least I thought so, until I Googled it and found this. I do all sorts of meditation while climbing 8-10 flights of stairs, twice a day. I do it for exercise, and to relieve stress. It clears my head and I can return to work in less than 10 minutes – refreshed. I climb sideways, count backwards from 100, count by 3s, or 4s, etc. and sometimes I just focus on a mantra. It works for me!

Pilates has been the best new class I’ve embarked on in the past year. It’s given me increased range of motion, taught me to breathe more deeply into different areas of the body, and motivated me to eat less and better so I could lose weight (down 13 pounds so far!). Guess I’ll have to keep updating this page to tell you my progress, huh? If you’ve never tried it, check it out. I go to Blue Sage Pilates in Bradenton, Florida. If you live in the area, you may want to give Karol a call and schedule a session! If you can’t find a Pilates class near you, check this out — click here.

Ah, now doesn’t that feel better?

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, my holistic health book that details how I naturally reversed asthma, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is available now. Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Follow me on Twitter at: TakeOnYourself