Who Am I?

I AM my ancestors (who continue to live in my DNA and blood), and Everything I’ve experienced up to this point since the moment of my physical birth–and perhaps from Beyond it too!

My physical body consists of “star stuff”: dirt and water, the elements of the earth and stars. I breathe, because our Creator Source once breathed a soul essence into a human being. No human has ever created another living breathing life from nothing. We make babies from a male and a female human BE-ing. Our breath originated somewhere. WE human BE-ings can only share breath. Our essence came from some ONE. That is logic.

Let me present some definitions to you, as you may need some context around this article before you can really “get it.”

• Ancestors – anyone who shares my DNA and/or blood. I see this as a line, past, present, and future. What I experience today (in the Now), ah yes, is driven, or built upon, the foundation that all my previous living relations have experienced. This line allows me to affect change in the lives of those I am currently related to, as well as who will come down in the future–my legacy).
• Blood – the viscous liquid coursing through my veins. It is a well established fact, and proven by my mother, that when a mother and father’s blood is incompatible a baby cannot naturally come forth from them. Yes, of course today it is known that with medical intervention a baby can be saved–but at times, there are still complications from the blood mismatch).
• DNA – The biological, scientific explanation of the genetic carrier of information (deoxyribonucleic acid) that exists inside of each of us–not seen by the naked eye–which allows each of us to self-replicate. This substance is claimed to exist in “nearly all living organisms as the main constituent of chromosomes.”
• Aware / Awake person – One who has an open mind to acknowledge that there’s a lot more information around us than what our established five senses interprets on a daily basis.
• Everything – All of one’s vibrations, energy, thoughts, ways of interpreting, and actions.

Why does it matter?

If I know who I am, then it gives me many clues as to why I’m here, and my purpose for living. Also, I feel it matters to my family, both past, present, and future.

Why now?

To ease feelings associated with loneliness and loss, both for myself and others. And my hope is that the more we research and discuss our Connections, the better we can use our experiences to heal ourselves, and loved ones.

Background

I’ve been interested in my genealogy for many years, and in particular my Native American roots since I love and am drawn to so many things said, and made by Native Americans. However, after my mom passed away (transitioned to the other side), I began experiencing stupefying co-incidences. Actually, I began experiencing incredible synchronicities even before, mama crossed over. And as an “aware” person, I began noting these occurrences and writing them down.

Before my mom passed, but after dad had called me to tell me she wasn’t doing so well, I had decided that I needed to find a piece of jewelry mom had given me years ago. In looking for the item though, I didn’t find it. Instead, I found a beautiful old watch of hers and a pocket watch, which I think had belonged to my grandfather (though I’m not sure).

It’s time

I placed both items on our coffee table and felt better having these pieces near me. Call it a vibration thing, I don’t know. But I felt a bit better.

It was only a day or two until I got the call from dad that mom was unresponsive. My mind still wasn’t sure that meant she had passed though, so I’d reached out to my nurse friend to ask. I had kept busy for several hours that morning, pacing, and waiting on a confirmation from dad. I knew I wanted to get to where they were and be with dad–it was a “pull” that I’d not quite felt before. While preparing for the multi-state drive, at some point the thought came to me, “It was my time.” And bingo. That’s when it hit me. The synchronicity of the items I’d found was mom’s spirit telling me that it was her time to go, and for me to be okay with it–since she’d confirmed it by having me find not just one, but two, TIME PIECES!

She used to tell me as a teen that I was thick headed. So, I laughed out loud because I knew this was her way of reminding me of that also! That if I didn’t “get it” from finding her watch, then she’d make SURE that I understood that it was her time by having me find that second time piece! Aha! Mom was with me. I had even told someone a week or so prior that mom’s dementia sort of had her “one foot in this world, and one in the other.”

Going home

When my husband and I arrived in West Virginia, my dad was outside of the local hotel to greet us! No time was wasted! And as the Universe would have it, as we walked into the lobby of the hotel and conference center, a lone man was sitting there softly playing his guitar and singing. The song? One of mom and dad’s favorites, “Unchained Melody.” There was also, at this same time, a taxidermist convention going on–and my paternal grandfather was a taxidermist! It caused me to ponder, is mama (in the Great Beyond) hanging out with my grandparents? What a comforting and cool thought.

We spent several days with dad, but then it was time to go home. Before we could get out of the state however, my uncle would not take no for an answer that we needed to come to his home because he had something of mom’s for me. My aunt even got on the phone to tell me there was a mink coat amongst the things mom had put in their cedar closet. I couldn’t imagine my mother having a mink coat, so yes, the curiosity got the best of me and I did one of the purely selfish things I’ve ever done. I decided we’d drive a 3 to 4 hours out of our way, and go see my aunt and uncle and pick up whatever mom had packed away. My uncle also surprised us by calling my cousins and had them come to the house to visit us–something I’d never imagined would happen, but oh, how joyous that reunion was!

Finding mom’s wedding suit, and many special coats that I remembered mom wearing, along with other clothing she’d put aside, was all so very comforting for me. And as I spent weeks looking at old photos and seeing mama wearing these clothes, totally made me feel as though she was guiding my efforts. I poured through many photos in order to put together mom’s eulogy and photo slideshow.

Afterward

In the weeks that followed, we would all discuss what kind of service to have for mom. My dad, so overcome with grief, would call me almost daily, and often I could hear the shakiness of his voice on the other end of the line. I tried my best to reassure him that he had more to live for, a purpose yet to fulfill.

Eventually, we’d agreed to honor my mama by having my uncle, mom’s brother, facilitate a memorial service for mom. I wasn’t going to go, but when I learned that my dad’s sister (who lives in California) would be there for her reunion during the same week, and wanted to also attend mom’s service, I began looking for a flight up. Initially, the airline I normally use, didn’t have any direct flights in. I tried to console myself that I’d just have to miss the service. But, out of the blue, the thought came to check ALL airlines, and I was able then, quite easily actually, to book a flight up with one airline into one city, and the return flight home with another airline out of a neighboring state–in the same town as one of my cousins also, whom I’d always wanted to visit with at her home!

More synchroncities

As if, the audacity of the synchronicity of finding two of mom’s time pieces wasn’t enough, don’t you know that when I got to West Virginia for mom’s memorial service, my dad presented me with another time piece of mom’s, her favorite, “footprints in the sand” wrist watch!

Also, what really knocked my socks off, was that as soon as dad and I arrived at my uncle and aunt’s home for the service, I saw my uncle and he was wearing an indigo blue long sleeved dress shirt! If you haven’t read one of my previous posts called, “That Tiny Blue Dot” then you won’t understand the significance of this synchronicity, but the importance of it was not lost on me!

As well, the tables set up to be used for mom’s memorial service all had indigo blue plastic table cloths on them! I couldn’t have been more wrapped in love during that day, knowing mom was with me.

Nature chimes in

At  one point during the service an eagle or hawk flew directly over head! And after the service, I learned that the beautiful blooming tree (that can be seen in the videos I took of the service) is a crepe myrtle, and more than that, it had been brought back by my grandparents after a trip they’d taken years ago to Florida! I’d never known them to take a vacation in their lives, especially not all the way to Florida! I was astounded!

After the service, dad and I checked into the hotel. Quite purposely I had booked us a room at the same hotel where my dad’s sister was staying so we could visit more with her.

As it turned out though, it seemed mom had a hand in this from the other side, as while dad and I walked into the hotel restaurant area, he is looking around and tells me that he hasn’t been there in years—since he had picked up mom and one of her friends when they had imbibed and didn’t want to drive home! I was stunned! I had heard mom say she used to sell Avon at one of the hotel restaurant lounges during a particular span of time (when I had moved away and was busy raising my kids), but I had never gone there with her, and all these years later the hotel’s name had changed. Turns out we were right where we needed to be, as the friend dad mentioned, joined us for a cocktail and a beautiful conversation later that evening after my aunt left to attend a reunion function.

The morning after we’d returned home, I had awoken with a song in my head. It was an old song. Gilbert O’Sullivan’s, “Alone Again” would play over and over in my mind, and with it came the feeling that mom was giving it to me, to help me cry and release the grief.

I continue to notice and enjoy the many synchronicites that mom’s provides me. Most recently, it was meeting an artist friend who paints using a lot of indigo blue, that she herself had not realized she was using!

Writing it down

Historically, the church I was raised in kept intricately detailed genealogical records. They are publicly known for this. Because of this, and since it was always the church’s practice to offer their members something called a patriarchal blessing, mom had learned that she was from the tribe of Manasseh.

I also know, but as of yet have been unable to prove, that my mother, and her mother, carried the blood of their Native American (Cherokee) relatives. Since the Native American lineage is traced via the mother, and recorded on tribal rolls, I’ve bought many books on the Cherokee tribes and have found my grandmother’s maiden last name, but not her mother’s maiden last name. So many of the tribal rolls don’t even show a first name, or only first initials, making proving my Indian heritage nearly impossible. Please reach out to me if you have any suggestions. My great grandmother’s name was Hannah McGill Calhoun of West Virginia and her mother’s name was Louisa McDonald McGill.

Since I’d give anything to find some handwritten family history by my ancestors, I began writing, and later, blogging, so my granddaughters will have something to be able to know and understand a bit about their grandmother–me.

The importance of learning and continued growth