Things I’ve Never Understood

Even at my ripe age of fifty, there’s still things in life (or at least in our culture and society) I don’t understand. I’ve started a list of those things. Because the mind likes to observe and catalog things. And because people like to explain things. It makes us comfortable when we can explain stuff.

  1. Insurance – Why do states (like Florida) have laws requiring people to buy auto insurance and insurance agencies encourage you also to pay for coverage that covers “uninsured motorists”? If it’s the law, then why doesn’t the state (Florida in my example) cover the uninsured? Or at least force the uninsured to pay for all accidents that are their fault? Which brings me to #2…
  2. No Fault Accidents – There’s no such thing. Someone is always at fault. I understand that it takes two to tango so to speak, or multiple people at fault but no one at fault? I’m not buying that logic unless you’re driving down the road and a tree falls over on your car.
  3. Late Fees – It seems this archaic situation penalizes the very people who CAN’T afford to pay. If the person had the money, they’d have paid the bill when it was due, duh!
  4. Credit Bureau’s – Okay, anyone who knows me, knows I’ve yammered about this subject for years. Credit bureau’s should be illegal and outlawed. Period. They are a private entity amassing too great of control over private individuals lives. They affect how much interest you to pay to a financial institution, whether you can rent certain apartments or homes, whether you can buy a home, and often as well (which really annoys me) influence a company’s decision whether to hire you or not. I say, if they want to remain in business fine, but each citizen should have control over what is released in the file. Oh I know you can “fight” errors on your reports but why is the burden of that fight on the individual? If you become a victim of identity theft you’ll find out real fast just how much power these behemoths wield over you.
  5. Science – People have said to me various times, “I’ll believe this or that when science proves it”. Well my friend you’ll be waiting a l-o-n-g time! Science is by definition, the observation and cataloging of particular things. And science evolves. It’s always changing. Scientists haven’t figured out all of the chemical make up of an apple, can’t tell you exactly how your brain works (granted daily they make great strides), nor can they define or better yet, agree, on how the universe works. Theories, all they have are observations, quantifications, and THEORIES.
  6. Schools of Thought – Adding to why I don’t understand #5, I learned a long time ago there are various “schools of thought” on every subject. So, why would you want to limit your thought to what science (someone else) has to say about your world, your body, or your mind? I say, find your true self, align with it, and be happy. There’s a different school of thought about what you should eat, “science” can prove or disprove it seems, just about every theory. I say check out who funds their studies.
  7. Free Speech – It seems we’ve lost our entitlement and right in this country to FREE SPEECH. Please stand up for free speech (whether you agree with what is being said or not). Seems like that should be a no-brainer but for lots of reasons people seem to want to control what people say. This came to a head for me when folks with a baby in a bar complained about us (two middle-aged educated folks sitting at the bar – the family was behind us at a table) saying a certain word a couple times that they disagreed with. First, we were in a bar, and second, who gives them the right? My husband and I were having a casual enlightened but FUN discourse going on between us, not being loud or brassy, and just happened to use this “word”. If those folks didn’t want their baby, and I do mean this was an infant, not to hear that word, they’d best move along. The bartender told us if we used that “word” any more we’d have to leave because we were in a “family bar”. What?!?! Kids are going to hear that word in a bar, a grocery store, Wal-mart, movie theater, walking in the mall, or coming from a car next to them in traffic. Get over it. Really?
  8. Source – In programming it all depends on who owns, controls, or has access to the source code. You can’t do anything very complex to the program without access to the source code. So, why let someone else, me or a doctor, tell you what’s wrong with your body (your source code). I don’t care how many degrees the person has, or how many years they went to school. They had to practice on someone (lets hope not on you)! No one knows you and your body, like YOU do. I’ve heard people say, “listen to your body” – and I’d believe that to be a good rule of thumb, except – there are exceptions. Sometimes our bodies are controlled by other forces. For example, if you have an addiction to something – that substance has set off certain cell receptors in the body to make you “think” you want whatever it is you’re addicted to, nicotine, sugar, chocolate, caffeine, alcohol, all come to mind as examples. I once had a doctor tell someone in my presence that he couldn’t be physically addicted to marijuana – only mentally. Later it was determined (evolving science) that one CAN be physically addicted to the THC component in marijuana.

So I guess, it really doesn’t matter what you know, what you study, or what you do – who believes you anyway? There’s a phrase I’ve heard recently that seems to fit here. Familiarity breeds contempt. It’s why Jesus Christ had a problem getting those whom he had grown up with to follow him and why he had to travel to recruit the twelve disciples. Another thought comes to mind… isn’t it absolutely amazing what twelve people can accomplish – like start Christianity – when they all are of like-mind?

In this day and age of viral marketing, I’d like to see more great ideas “take off.” I’d like it if we could shed some of the things that hinder us. Wouldn’t it be nice?

For me, I’m trying not to take myself so seriously – no one else does.

Why I had quit Facebook

So, the day I originally wrote this, the social networking site, Facebook, went “public.” As in, it offers shares of stock for sale on the stock market.

I was on Facebook for about two years. I thought it was all about reconnecting; sharing tidbits of life, opinions, and photos with old high school friends, college friends, family, and so on.

Little by little, I became addicted to those elementary games and, for a few months, enjoyed playing them.

I had tons of photos on my site.

And then, I posted a lot of opinions – sometimes causing disturbing rebuttals.

Being a computer geek (I met my husband online and I work in IT) I know how to set the privacy controls and all that sort of thing. But, eventually, I got tired of the fad and moved on.

Just like my parents when the old party line telephone was being phased out for a private line in the 1960’s. That’s all Facebook is. It’s a party line telephone!

Do you know why a lot of people moved on from the party line?

Wives were suddenly made aware of their husbands shenanigans. Husbands overheard neighbors talking about how annoying they were, mowing their grass too early on a weekend morning or maybe how loud their truck exhaust was when they drove down the street. Kids picked up the phone only to hear some of the seediest conversations of their lives!

AT&T did great business with the advent of the private line telephone for a reason!

People started realizing they really didn’t want to know what everyone thought of them, or what their spouses were secretly up to.

Anyway, isn’t gossip a sin?

So, I have a sneaking suspicion (and hope) that Facebook will eventually fizzle out the same way those old party line phones did.

It seems bizarre to me that Facebook started out as a private network, mostly for colleges – you had to have a college email account initially to even get started.

Now, you’ll probably think I’m a conspiracy theorist when I say this, but the day the announcement came out about Facebook taking funds from Goldman Sachs (about $450 million), and a private Russian investor (do we yet know who that person is?) that was the final straw for me.

I’m half way through a Masters in Marketing degree so I understand the whole marketing perspective of Facebook – and that they’re only beginning to make money from advertising stuff.

Believe me when that really takes off you’ll already be so addicted you won’t even realize how targeted they’re slick marketing will be.

So, for me when a company gets too much cash inflow I question if there’s something “a bit more than meets the eye” going on.

Who wants the data?

Who wants the photos?

Do they care who I know?

Who’s trying to gain control?

Since I had no way to answer those questions I systematically began deleting all of my posts (and it took awhile since I had to delete each one individually), deleted all of my photo albums, etc. Only when I felt like I had removed EVERYTHING that I wouldn’t want published in a big city newspaper, that’s when I hit the “disable” button.

Admittedly, I’ve been back on, yes you can enable your disabled account again if you choose to, just to view some photos that family or friends refused to email – I know they’re sucked into Facebook, it’s fine, I was there once so I understand, but it’s a pain to disable it – too many questions and crap.

So, I went back on it a couple of times.

If my family and friends want me to see their kids growing up process, they’ll just have to email – or do what I did. Pay to store our digitized photos online.

Everytime I reactivate my account to check photos my family or close friends have posted, I feel wonderful for a few minutes–until I see something that pisses me off. Then I deactivate the account again acknowledging to myself how much I loathe Facebook. UGH!

Bottom line: I think Facebook is a time trap, gut puncher, and time waster for the most part — and I’ve got more important writing to do. 🙂

UPDATE: After the birth of my beautiful granddaughter (and her parents subsequent decision to allow pictures of her to be shared on Facebook), I begrudgingly returned to Facebook. In fact, I even setup an “author page“. Call it hypocrisy if you will, but that’s my story and I’m sticking with it. 😉 I preach a lot about forgiveness, so forgive me – and I’ll forgive Facebook. Just be careful, kind, and considerate out there…