Tag: tone

In many circles you will hear people say that “words are powerful,” but do you believe it?

If words are powerful, do you know why? Because words carry vibration. Vibrational TONE. The tone sets up something for people, and animals too, that carries your intention forward.

Think of a time when you called out to a loved one, or pet, by name. Maybe they came to you. Their choice. Their free will. But, maybe they didn’t come to you. Or maybe not immediately. Perhaps they chose to stop whatever it was they were doing that you didn’t like. Or, perhaps not!

You call out again. Still, they do not bend to YOUR will, wishes, or desire. You call AGAIN. This time your tone of voice changes, getting more irritated, annoyed, angry, and LOUD. You can’t understand why, with all of the energy your vocally transmitting to this person (or pet), that they aren’t listening. And hear me now (believe me later), you’re not commanding their attention.

You are attempting to control that person or animal with words.

Yet, the only difference in the words is the tone.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to drop whatever I am doing and go near a person who’s yelling at me, especially when I hear them using an angry tone. If however, I sense they are calling for me from a caring heart-centered place, I will go. Especially, since I am an empath.

If, however, I sense the yelling has a concern behind it, such as: “Get out of the way,” “Fire,” or “Help,” then yes, I will likely respond by moving quickly, calling out to others, getting help, or offering assistance.

You can tell someone’s intention by their tone of voice.

We almost instinctively perceive tone!

The first thing the person who yells a lot must get (understand) is that they do not control anyone.

The authoritative shouter may make someone uncomfortable enough that they choose to do something for them / bend to their will (think of a soldier going through boot camp) but, 100% of the time, all day, every day, the person on the receiving end of the shouting / yelling has a choice.

If you are yelling at me, I can choose to do as you desire, or NOT! The world does not revolve around you!

So, why do people feel the need to control others with their words? What is all the damned yelling and shouting about anyway?

Over time, yelling at me just desensitizes me to the shouting. Or, my body becomes so stressed that I leave, and get away from that person – even if it means quitting a job! Loud vocals stress my body, if I choose to internalize those commanding words.

I would simply say, loud vocals stress my body, but that is only true if I’m accepting of them.

For example, if I love a particular rock band, I can go to the concert and love the loud singer! So, again, it’s all in our interpretation or how we perceive the tones, or words.

Children hear, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. Is this true?

Studies show people who are constantly yelled at become negatively conditioned. (The particular study I linked to here says it also depends upon how much credit we give to the person yelling at us, someone in authority, or parent, etc. their words carry more weight!)

Words roared at us, even more so by those we love, either set us up to become aggressive (anger directed outward) or go into our shell, turning anger inward which, turns into depression or resentment. They may get to a point where they no longer pay attention to anyone who yells at them or they cry, become nervous, etc.

Yes, some words hurt, but maybe not for all the reasons we think.

The intention of the person using the word sets the tone. It’s not just the word that hurts.

Words after all, are just words. They are not REAL. They may represent something, but they are abstract and we can choose to define them any which way we want!

Words need to have a shared definition before they really count for anything anyway. Shared definition is very important – for example, you may define the word “fun” very different than I define the word “fun”. Interestingly we may define the words: “hurt,” “fear,” “pain,” etc. very differently based upon our understanding and experience.

When someone speaks light, fun, happy, or encouraging words to us the tone is typically lighter too! We feel it. Think of how your lover speaks to you. Think of how your best friend speaks to you when you’re engaging in fun, giggly, or perhaps deep insightful conversation. Think of how your grandparent or other close relative speaks to you WHEN they are flowing pure love (energy) to you. You feel loved, warm, and cared for as they speak! You know that they love you, their words are soothing and envelope you in love. Ah!

So let’s try a little experiment. As you sit there and read my words, be sure there is nothing else going to make you excited, no drama – ok? Make sure you’re not distracted and that you are relatively calm and peaceful.

As you begin to read the following list of words –  note if any push your buttons. Specifically do they get  you riled up, mad, sad, or other negative emotion. You’re safe. No one is physically going to harm you and you know this. Only check as you read each word slowly if you feel any mental or physical response. Here goes:

• Confrontation
• You’re ugly
• Scream
• Attack
• You’re stupid
• Betrayal
• Fight
• You’re bad
• Struggle
• Aggravate
• Shut up
• Insult
• Coward
• Assault

Do you feel anything in your mind or body as you read the words? Can you agree that these are just words. Characters on the screen. If you felt anything in your mind or body do you see where that is because of the way you define the word or link it with a previous experience?

When someone relays a hurtful story do you, do you find yourself wincing or in some other way empathizing with their story? Again, you are not IN their story – no one is attacking you, but often I find that many of us (especially empathic people) in some small way can sense or feel the pain the person went through during their experience. It’s also the reason I won’t watch certain movies. If I don’t feel the pain in my body I may have bad dreams because the movie assaulted my mind.

To take this topic, “Words are only as powerful as we allow” in another direction, what about doctors who tell their patients they only have 6 months to live? Those words hurt in another way.

In my opinion, doctors break the Hippocratic oath when they tell patients they only have x number of weeks or months to live or there’s nothing else they can do. The doctor may not shout at you, so it’s not the volume of the voice (such as yelling) but those words are very heavy to receive. In fact, it has been theorized that a doctor’s end of life time frame prediction could induce an auto-suggestion manifesting as self fulfilling prophecy.

What’s wrong in this scenario is that people ascribe so much weight to the doctor’s words because of the physician’s credentials and so-called authority. The finality of the meaning we ascribe to the time limit of this death sentence (no pun intended) really packs a punch! In fact, I recall several people telling me that when their doctor told them they only had x weeks or months to live they literally felt a “punch in the gut” of their body!

So, do you stop to question if the doctor’s statement is really true before reacting? Do you take a few minutes to engage your cognitive mind, stay calm, and let the doctor know you want a second, or third opinion? Do you seek out many other experts? Or do you take this one doctor’s word for when you will die? I invite you to think about that because the nocebo effect (read Bruce Lipton’s book “Biology of Belief”) is being proven every day. Of course if you challenge those negative words (and some do – thankfully) they prove the opposite and outlive the prescribed time frame and experience spontaneous healing!

I have been studying the placebo (and nocebo effect) that Bruce Lipton, Phd. speaks of for several years. When we got into the “raw and living foods” philosophy of eating back in 2008 we shared meals with many people who rejected their allopathic physician’s “limit on their life span” and took it upon themselves to gain knowledge and allow their bodies to heal naturally. Dr. Lipton still interviews about the placebo effect and how traditional western doctors only get about 15 minutes of education on it in medical school. In my opinion, even if doctors got a whole course on the placebo effect (and nocebo effect) it wouldn’t be enough.

Dr. Alison J. Kay talks about the placebo effect as well. She has studied in the east, Asia and India and thoroughly knows and understands the basis of the placebo effect (using several modalities, including meditation) and it’s relationship basis of subtle energy. (Reference my full article about Dr. Kay’s work here.)

Recently I’ve come upon an interview by Dr. Paul Drouin of http://iquim.org/ along with Dr. Joe Dispenza where they discuss the placebo effect –>> Click here. This also may explain by how so called “false hope” may indeed be helpful to someone. When you look at the science (which is just measured observation) it begins to make sense.

Let me give you some happy and light words and see if now, they change your mood, or if you feel these in your mind or body:

• Safe
• Hug
• Silly
• Joke
• Fun
• Tickle
• Whisper
• Smile
• Love
• Laugh
• Winning
• Cuddle
• Soft

How do you feel now? Again, just words. Again, just what meaning you attach to these. Did you think of your pets, loved ones, children, etc.?

One of the Pixar short video’s we love is called, “Dug’s Special Mission” from the movie “Up”. In it there’s a line that my husband and I say to each other often when we’re seeking to be understood. It’s always said in fun, and with a light heart. The line is: “Do you understand the words that I am speaking to you now”? It is our belief that the intention and tone used when words are spoken, often say much more than the word chosen implies.

I am a tonal. I read between the lines – a LOT! Sometimes I get it wrong, or maybe not. Maybe people just catch themselves and then clarify what they mean when I question their words, but I am always seeking to understand. Sometimes when I perceive someone speaking in a harsh or brisk tone it takes me awhile to figure out if they intend to be forceful, irritating, or hurtful. Their tone has probably caused me some undue fatigue. I have even been irritated by the tone of someone’s laughter! Has that ever happened to you?

If you are in any kind of pain or dis-ease, let’s try that same word power game. Focus on the pain in your body. Assign the pain a number 1-10 with 10 being the most intense. Now read the following words:

• Trust myself
• Kind
• Hug myself
• It’s OK
• Allow
• Comfort
• Getting better
• Peace
• I’m alive
• Knowing
• Healing
• Power
• I’m still breathing
• Pure Joy
• Blessed
• Pure Love
• Light
• Flow
• Bliss

Check in with your pain again. Has your number 1-10 come down?

Even if your number only came down one number say, from a 9 to an 8, that’s improvement! If so, this validates and proves to you the power of words. Read them again but this time in the voice of one person (who either now or from your past) who has a voice you love and who always spoke in a nice, sweet, caring tone. Do it now.

Recheck your pain level.

Bottom line: Words only carry the power (vibration and energy) as we allow. The tone in which the words are spoken (either out loud or in our heads), or the authority of those who speak the words – attempts to make the words carry more meaning / power, however we still have a choice whether to buy in to that or not. If we do not buy into people’s authority, the power of their words mean less to us. If we can decipher someone’s intention based upon the tone we can also better choose whether to accept or reject their words.

Peace and love to all.

A bit about me:

An Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon.

Plus, my holistic health book that details how I naturally reversed asthma, Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, is available now. Buy it here.

Be the best version of who you want to be.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

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