Mom, why did you bite your fingernails?
For as long as I can remember my mom bit her nails. And I always wondered why. She used to tell me it was “just a habit.”
My mother was a woman of strong faith, having been raised in a devoutly Christian home. She was also a deep thinker, earnest student, and hard worker. Mom’s parents never argued in front of their children either. So, what caused my mom to feel inferior (which can be a cause for such types of habits)?
As an aside: I picked up the habit from my mom and bit my nails for over 20 years. I had low self esteem as a teen, and often thought I had an inferiority complex!
Asking the question
Now, in my fifties, one morning (three years after my mom’s death), I sat in meditation and silently asked, “Mom, why did you bite your nails?”
The answer: “It was a way of hiding.”
And I got an image of how one hides a smile behind a hand, and when a man twists his mustache hair. I never had the thought before that one can hide behind their hand while biting one’s fingernails.
Hmmm, hiding? Hiding from what? I quickly retorted in thought.
Almost as soon as the first answer came, the second came. Hiding her soul.
How does one hide their soul?
Then, I was on a quest.
Why and how do we hide our soul? And is this a fight with our inner-being?
Are we reserved in behavior because we are afraid to let our innermost thoughts out?
Do we feel we will be judged?
Why would my mom have felt she would be judged? As especially in her youth, when presumably her nail biting started, she would have had no reason to fear judgment.
But, my mom was painfully shy. Always preferring to stay in the background. My mom preferred solitude to group gatherings—unless the gathering was in church (but even there, she didn’t like the spotlight).
Do we question our power?
One of the only times I saw my mom speak publicly, was when the church congregation was asked to share an individual testimony (of God showed up or intervened in their life).
I would listen to my mom’s personal testimony with awe, each and every time. And I had often wished my dad could have been there, at the prayer meeting, to hear mom’s words. Mom spoke with a gentle tone, but at the same time, a commanding authority. To me, this meant mom was speaking from a profound knowing. From a place of truth.
Are we afraid we can’t live up to the expectation of our soul?
As I searched the Internet on the subject of our soul, I found a series of quotes by author, Parker J. Palm. One of his quotes that caught my attention follows:
As soon as I read Parkers quote, I realized he had also touched on the soul phrase given to me in the early 2000s that set me on my Awakening journey. The phrase, which became my mantra, We Are All Connected.
In summary
So far, the way I commune with my soul, and share what I find, (that aligns with the lessons I have learned by sitting with these questions), is the way I speak and share about the mantra, We Are All Connected. We Are Not Alone. And that we are more powerful than we can imagine.
Whether we feel less than, insecure, are shy, fearful, or that we may not express our truth in a clear way, we CAN speak and share from our soul, from our innermost truth. We simply need a courageous push or willingness to do so.
Perhaps we are old souls. But that is a question for another meditation. OM
About me
I have a passion for WORDS and Connecting people. In particular, I love speaking and writing about spiritual and consciousness raising topics, holistic wellness and simple healthy living. I am empathic, intuitive, compassionate, and kind, with a keen and unified wisdom about life.
I’m an Amazon bestselling author of two co-authored books: “Transform Your Life Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Advice” and “Energy of Receiving”, available on Amazon. Plus, I’ve written a health book (in the making for 13 years), Take It Upon Yourself to Live a Wholly Vibrant Life, that’s available here.
Observations about the author
Conversations surrounding emotional balance, moral ambiguities, and deep spiritual truths (such as We Are All Connected, and Put Your Hands Together When You Pray), are what Sheila is most passionate about. She feels a profound empathic Connection with people and what they’re going through by merely sharing her own truth, by speaking freely about her personal struggles and the challenges she continues to overcome. Sheila strives to ease lonelines, help those exiting toxic relationships, and to remind us all that we are stronger than we think we are, and that Everything Resolves to Gratitude in the end.
Let us serve you
My husband is an award-winning illustrator, plus he is a seasoned guitarist, bass player, and songwriter (of over 400 original songs). You can view some of his artwork and listen to all of his songs at: http://listen4music.com
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Be the person your soul beckons you to be and let us promote you!
Here’s us: https://vimeo.com/416711742?ref=fb-share
Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.
Wholly Integrating Spirals 